Thursday, June 23, 2011
A Wee Survey For The Crew...
You know all those "favorites" surveys your friends send but you never return? Of if you do, it's when you have the door to your office shut and you know your boss is out? Well, I've decided that, as pirates, it's our duty to get rid of all those boring, standard questions and have our own, piratey survey! I will answer these questions in the comments and expect you to do the same. Feel free to adlib your own answers if mine do nothing for you. The wench with the best answers wins this fabulous, knitted praying mantis! Woo hoo!
1) Blood spilled...Brown or Red?
2) Shit List...or Hit List?
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles?
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w)
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner?
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard?
8) Mascot - Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis?
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship?
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank?
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank?
Let the fun begin!
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40 comments:
Oh, fun, fun, fun! I so want that mantis!
1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red?
Green, death to all Vulcans!
2) Shit List…or Hit List?
I'm going with list of hits. Number one with a rocket!
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles?
Well, if I have to chose, I'd say long slow torture with pistols, since I don't know what a pistole is. (Sounds like a flower part or a pasta.)
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w)
Magenta and Sea Green
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner?
Gag! Barbossa! Barbossa! Barbossa!
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard?
See above. (Though Ian is a tasty dish...)
;-)
Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis?
Kraken!
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship?
The Roving Wench (not the Rolling Wench, though when I drink...)
Hey, what happened to number 8?
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank?
The one who scheduled RWA 2011 to end the Fourth of July weekend.
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank?
Kraken slides for everyone!
Let the fun begin!
1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red? Blue bloods. I never like those damned blue bloods; I bleed American red all the way, baby!
2) Shit List…or Hit List? I have a hit list for my shit list—and you know who you are. Be afraid.
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles? Torture, obviously. Several hours of Justin Bieber and American Idol try outs, and they will be begging for waterboarding.
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w) Pink and tie-dyed. Just because you’re deadly doesn’t mean you can’t be girly and a little hippy.
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner? Ryan Reyolds—I had a dream with him the night before last, and I assure you: RYAN REYNOLDS. (And I could never have a one night stand with Jack—we have a faithful, loving relationship, except for that little list of people we’re allowed to have one-night stands with. Which Ryan Reynolds is on that list.)
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard? Captain Jack Sparrow. Barbossa and Blackbeard are not on my List—and frankly in my past, I think I might have had a one night stand with Blackbeard. It wasn’t good. He needs some lessons.
7.)Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis? KNITTED PRAYING MANTIS. KPM can’t fling poo. Or mock you with Amish jokes.
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship? WHERE DID THE RUM GO
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank? Sarah Palin
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank? A wicked fierce Catholic nun history teacher
Can I just say "Rum" for every question?
1) Blood spilled? Eeek. I'm too squeamish. Have to do that off-screen.
2) List -- I'm still compiling this. My hard drive is running out of space.
3) I prefer long, slow torture for my enemies by being extra nice. Wait. Did I just give away one of my trade secrets?! Never mind. Look over there! What's that?
4) Jolly Roger -- should be black and red -- so much more menacing. Oh, and let's add a scorpion, just to let them know we're serious.
5) I'll do the one-night stand with Captain Jack. Altho I know one night will never be enough for him. :)
6) Barbossa or Blackbeard -- I'll have two other B's -- Brain Bleach!
8) I'll have the Hotties for mascots. :)
9) My own ship. . .hmm. I'll just removable letters, so I can change my mind. For now it can be "Better Watch Out".
10) Walking the plank -- anyone who steals my coffee
11) Monster waiting below -- Piranhas who have been on a vegan diet
That was fun! And inspiring!
1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red? I'm going with acid-based alien blood.
2) Shit List…or Hit List? Totally Hit List.
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles? Long slow torture - hmmm that fits my hero list to...:)
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w) I'm going steel grey and rose pink.
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner? He's the Captain - No question!
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard? I'll be too busy with the Captain.
Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis? I like the Kraken too!
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship? The Big Woody (Hey - it's a wooden pirate ship!)
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank? Entire Fox News Station
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank? I don't need no stinking monster - I'll make sure they're weighted down before I shove them over!
1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red?
Purple. Drank a lot of grape gatorade last night.
2) Shit List…or Hit List?
I've had a shit list for years. It's a scroll at this point. (Aside: Chance - It's number one with a BULLET!)
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles?
I looked up pistoles just so I could be accurate here. Dying under an avalanche of Spanish gold coins doesn't sound so bad, so I'll take that. At least I'll die rich.
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w)
I'm going with black & blue. And that's what ye'll be when I's finish't wichya.
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner?
WILL! Uhm...ahem....I'll take Will. But I want the longest night of the year. Or rather, I'll meet him in one of those countries where it stays dark for months.
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard?
I'm going to use a pass here. There isn't enough penecillan in the world for me to go there. (I'm sure I spelled that wrong.)
7) Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis?
Don't like bugs (NOT that this little guy isn't cute) or foul smelling zombie monkeys. I'll take a cute kitten. With an eye-patch, of course.
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship?
Since I named this one, I'm keeping it.
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank?
Whoever let my yard turn into one giant patch of every freaking weed known to man! Really? Would it have been SO hard to put down some grass when you flipped the house??
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank?
I'll have to go with sharks. I want the death to be slow and painful.
Just realized the torture one is for the people on the shit list. *sigh* It's too freaking early for me to be coherent.
I'm changing my answer to slow torture which would be making them listen to K$sha over and over again. While having to watch a slideshow of all her horrible fashion crimes.
1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red?
Purple. Covenant aliens from Halo bleed purple. Hmmm, well, actually the Brutes bleed red, but I digress.
2) Shit List…or Hit List?
Hit list for the win.
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles?
I'm a horror writer. Blood splattered and excruciating torture all the way.
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w)
White Roger on purple.
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner?
Jack.
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard? I'm gonna take Blackbeard, but on account of Ian McShane's performance in Deadwood, not Pirates. (Haven't seen the latest Pirates movie, yet.) I'd prefer Captain Mal from Firefly, though.
8) Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis?
Praying Mantis! I hate monkeys. They creep me out, even the un-undead variety.
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship?
The Dishonor of the Sargasso Sea. Okay, so I cheated and got that one here. If I had to come up w/one on my own it would The Dragon's Balls.
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank?
Any of the shit-fer-brains smokers that I see chucking their cig butts out the car window. "We're in the middle of a drought, wildfires aplenty, you self-involved moron! If you love your nasty habit so much, keep your butts in your asshtray." Ugh!
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank? Sea dragon, of course. I'm all about dragons.
Oops. I must have copied someone else's smiley face. The smiley face is not mine. I disavow the smiley.
It did!
Pat - I think you attempted to put an 8 there but and 8 + the ) makes that smiley. LOL! As in...
8)
Watch this now work.
I don't even know how the smiley face ended up replacing number 8! And I hit the wrong keys - I meant Pistols.
You guys are awesome! I LOVE funny pirates!
Then that means you skipped #7. What you got against 7's?
screw it.
Well, how come my smiley didn't turn out? 8+)
Yeah, but Terri...I want a rocket strapped to my success!
I must have been thinking pistils...I know there is some flower anatomy lesson in there...
8+
And bullets are much more stealth. More cost effective too. The Assassin can tell you that.
LOL! The + actually meant put one with the other. Doesn't mean to INCLUDE the + sign. LOL! Type the 8 and then the parenthesis thingy. No + sign.
8)
The sunglasses cool smiley shows up when you do numbering lists but don't put the [.] between the number and the parenthesis. That's all. Since 8+) is short code for making that smiley face, it screws up numberings lists. You see it all the time.
Ah! I did not know that! I need to find the smiley short cut code book...
Terri, damn the costs! Rocket! Rocket! Rocket!
8)
So the sunglasses thingy mocks me because I didn't punctuate??? Bo'sun! Give me one of those rockets!
See? Even the assassin wants a rocket!
Or a grenade. Grenades are a cure for many an ill.
Gods, I remember my MIL scaring her son...watching a WWII movie and screaming at the TV... "Throw the grenade!"
*slides a Grenade to Pat*
Drink slowly, it packs a punch.
*slides a Rocket to Leslie*
I don't want to know how Chance makes it red like that. Or where the foam comes from.
1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red? Oh it doesn't matter. I kiss boo boos and administer Transformer Band-aids for a living.
2) Shit List…or Hit List? Grocery List
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistols? Torture or gunshots for grocery list.... I'd say it's torture to grocery shop. If not for me, for everyone else in the store.
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w) Camo. So my husband can make the "Where's the Jolly Roger? I can't see it." joke to his heart's content.
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner? I will take Will here.
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard? Pass on the Dental Hygiene Impaired.
(I'm boycotting 7s too. Just because I'm exclusive like that.)
8) Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis? I do love the praying mantis but I think we should get a pot-bellied pig.
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship? Blueberry Tinkerbell
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank? The Annoying Credit Card Telemarketer who's called 5756638 times in the past two days. I don't want a new card, you persistent douche! Stop calling here!!!
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank? The Perfume Counter Ladies. You know, the ones who spray you in the face as you stagger through the stinky haze at the entrance of Macys? It's Slow Death by Perfume Sample. (Does this answer #3 too?)
We haven't seen the Assassins answer to this yet. Where'd she go??
Marn - That is vicious torture. Especially for me, who is allergic. I have to hold my breath as I walk through that department every time.
I just always think, "why do all these perfumes smell like dog piss?"
That's probably not the reaction they're hoping for.
A camo jolly roger? What would be the point? I can see our victims... "What flag are they flying? I can't really see it... I'm sure they're friendly and just want to race!"
1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red? Ugh, I don't do blood. It smells gross and is hard to clean up.
2) Shit List…or Hit List? Packing list-Seriously I leave for NYC on monday, and I haven't even begun to pack.
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles?
Long, slow torture-I hate packing.
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w) Pink Roger on a Camo background. Fierce and girly.
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner? Will-Yum!
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard? I'll pass.
Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis? My dog April-she's earned it. Emergency vet last weekend and follow up with vet today.
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship? Muse's Playground.
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank? The mean receptionist at the vet's.
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank?
Whatever gets the job done.
Di
I like the Camo idea, except it makes me think the ship would be full of redneck pirates and that could give me real nightmares.
Poor April. Hope she's better Di. And have fun storming the conference! All the conference buzz around Romancelandia is making this a very painful time for me. *whines*
I'm here. I'll post mine in a minute...I misplaced the file, dammit!
1. 1) Blood spilled…Brown or Red? Red can be disguised as wine. Brown resembles prune juice, which no self-respecting pirate would have on deck.
2) Shit List…or Hit List?
Hit List. My Shit List got angry and evolved.
3) Long, slow torture for above, or merciful death by pistoles?
Looooooooooooooooooooong Slooooooooooooooooooooo Torture involving rope, mayonnaise and evil ferrets.
4) Favorite 2 Colors for Jolly Roger? (I do get so tired of b/w)
Light Orange and Dark Orange.
5) One Night stand with Capt. Jack Sparrow, or Will Turner?
Will is too naïve. Capt. Jack’s naughty and would “know” things.
6) One Night Stand With Capt. Barbossa or Blackbeard?
Blackbeard. Because of Deadwood and, of course, Lovejoy.
Mascot – Undead Monkey, or Knitted Praying Mantis?
I can’t believe I forgot about the Kracken!
9) What Would You Name Your Own Ship?
Bitchin’ Boat. And I’d have a bumper sticker that says, “BEWARE – Spitting Cannons On Board”
10 What One Person Would You Have Walk The Plank?
Paris Hilton – and I’d make her wear practical shoes from Walmart.
11) What Monster Would You Have Lurking In Water Below Said Plank?
Fire-Breathing Honey Badgers.
*jumps up and down waving arms* I want to push Paris off. Let me! Let me! (And we need to make sure those badgers are starving.)
You realize you know have to knit an orange, two-toned Jolly Roger, right?
The Fierce Knitter...
Really, we do need to design out own jolly roger... crossed quills? a quill dripping blood?
I really need to get a good graphics program!
How about knitting a kraken!? Hint, hint.
What's it gonna cost me? ;-)
Bo'sun, starving badgers won't get much meat off her. Hmmm.... two toned jolly roger...I could do that.
Actually, I DO have a pattern for a kracken...it's from the same book.
Nothing, cuz I LOVE YOU GUYS. You'll just have to decide on the color, etc. I'll try to get pics out next week.
Chance~
I'm bummed that you won't be at the conference. Meeting you and having lunch with you, Bosun, and Scape was one of the highlights from last year.
April is doing better and right now, the vet has decided to treat her with medicine. She may live the rest of her life and never have another attack (she has bladder stones), or she may periodically need to be on medication. And if she does end up needing an operation, it should be a fairly simple one.
Di
ARGH! It's so hard not going! But next year, it's in CA and I'll be there with bells on! Nice, it's going to a hotel I know! Weeeee!
Have a blast, Di!
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