Wednesday, January 12, 2011
A step-by-step guide to seducing a woman
Sexual tension. The lifeblood of romance novels and romance writers everywhere.
I was watching a marathon of "Bones" last night. Some older episodes that just crackle with sexual tension between Booth and Bones. This current season, for me, has been disappointing because that sexual tension is gone. I miss it. I miss the way they got right in each others faces and yelled. I miss the way they would hold each others eyes just a split second too long. They way he would touch her, casually, when it wasn't necessary.
Those are visual signs of sexual tension though -- great for TV but not as far as we can go in writing. We can go into all sorts of details of thoughts and doubts. What she feels when she first meets his eyes; what he thinks when he first brushes her hand. The questions zipping through both their heads, as they wonder what the other is thinking and feeling.
I looked around for a list of signs of sexual tension. I stumbled upon a site giving men advice on how to take sexual tension and turn it into sex. A step-by-step guide for seducing a woman.
I found this freaking hilarious. Be subtle, yet suggestive. Or how about, Casually look over her body when you can do so without being too overt. They even give advice on when to move in "for the cuddle."
So how about it pirates? We're romance writers and/or readers. We know sexual tension like few others. So if you were writing a step-by-step guide for the clueless hero, the one who's caught his heroine's eye and now has no idea what to do next, what would you tell him to do first? Let's see if we can get a round-robin going with everybody adding on their idea for the next step!
I was watching a marathon of "Bones" last night. Some older episodes that just crackle with sexual tension between Booth and Bones. This current season, for me, has been disappointing because that sexual tension is gone. I miss it. I miss the way they got right in each others faces and yelled. I miss the way they would hold each others eyes just a split second too long. They way he would touch her, casually, when it wasn't necessary.
Those are visual signs of sexual tension though -- great for TV but not as far as we can go in writing. We can go into all sorts of details of thoughts and doubts. What she feels when she first meets his eyes; what he thinks when he first brushes her hand. The questions zipping through both their heads, as they wonder what the other is thinking and feeling.
I looked around for a list of signs of sexual tension. I stumbled upon a site giving men advice on how to take sexual tension and turn it into sex. A step-by-step guide for seducing a woman.
I found this freaking hilarious. Be subtle, yet suggestive. Or how about, Casually look over her body when you can do so without being too overt. They even give advice on when to move in "for the cuddle."
So how about it pirates? We're romance writers and/or readers. We know sexual tension like few others. So if you were writing a step-by-step guide for the clueless hero, the one who's caught his heroine's eye and now has no idea what to do next, what would you tell him to do first? Let's see if we can get a round-robin going with everybody adding on their idea for the next step!
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39 comments:
I have faith it will return in Bones. I saw it popping back in Castle the other night!
How to seduce a woman... "Listen without trying to fix, if possible wait until she's finished talking about what is bothering her before you offer advice."
Step by step guide:
2)After she has finished talking he must treat her to coffee and charm her with amusing stories,related to her worries, until she is fully relaxed. 8)
3) Most importantly, gentlemen, don't forget that what you are actually seducing is her BRAIN.
:) Great post, Hal -- can't wait to see what everyone else adds.
Yes! These are awesome!
Chance, I love that you start us off with listening. Why can't (some) guys understand just how far listening can get them?
I've got my fingers crossed you're right about Bones. I did love Castle this week, and her reaction to realizing Castle is single again....hmmmmm!
Q - an excellent 2nd step. I would most certainly be charmed!
Donna - so, so true!love it!
Q has nailed it. It's the power of words. A strong chest can only go so far, and in some instances it is really not needed. Someone who listens to you, as if what you're saying is valuable, is very seductive. Carrying on an intelligent conversation can be an overwhelming aphrodisiac for a couple.
Q, looks like we're going to have to send you out on some training missions now! :)
(We're so lucky to have him here, aren't we?)
I hate to admit this, but I got nuthin'. Like the list so far, though.
OhMmyyyy that Q is dangerous!
Misty Jo - Someone who listens to you, as if what you’re saying is valuable, is very seductive.
You nailed it perfectly. I'll take that over hotness any day
I'm not sure I have anything to add. Though this worked for Deerhunter once. ONCE, I emphasize. If he ever does it again....
4.) Encourage her to drink half a pitcher of beer and a couple shots. While she is in this good merry mood, take a sword and cut off her shirt. While she is a state of shock at her favorite shirt being destroyed, kiss her to make her forget you now owe her a shopping trip. Repeat.
WARNING. Item #4 should ONLY be attempted by a trained professional.
:)
Hahahahaha!!!!!!!
That is a brave, brave man Hellie. That either earns you major points, or a really hard slap *g*
LOL, Hellion. The only "sword" my husband uses on me better not be made of metal!
He made it up to me. But not with a shopping trip. Though the rest of the weekend, I just kept repeating: "I can't believe you cut my shirt off."
Item #4
Its stories like these that make me glad I insisted upon my daughter taking fencing lessons.
How do you seduce a woman? I almost feel like I’m giving away state secrets if I answer this. But in the interest of fairness I will tell you gentalmen out there what I told my daughter’s friend who was interested in gaining the interest of a certain young man. I told her “Do some research into things that interest him. Why? That way you’ll have something to talk about. And you’ll understand what he’s talking about when he is conversing with you about his interests.” After our talk the young woman got online & did some research into … skateboarding. They ended up dating for three years.
One word of precaution. I did tell the young woman not to be a phony. That it would be unfair to use this technique on someone if … after doing the research … she found herself appalled/disenchanted/turned off by the person’s interests.
So #5 is:
Pay attention to what interests a woman. And educate yourself .
A man must be a signals intelligence collection agent. That’s right dear, you have to … SICA.
If you wanna get a woman then you have to SICA!
And no fair spying on text messages or email or using ECHELON.
ECHELON is a name used in pop culture to describe the software controlling the collection and distribution of civilian telecommunications traffic conveyed using communication satellites, cell phones blah blah blah …
“I can’t believe you cut my shirt off.”
Fencing lessons. Every woman should have fencing lessons.
That way the foreplay will last longer! LOL
Ah yes, actually know something about what interests her so have you something intelligent to say after listening. Nice one, Julie!
Hellie, the shirt incident definitely deserves to be a scene in a romance novel. In this case, I think you should write what you know. ;-)
Great blog, Hal! I agree wholeheartedly with the seductive power of listening, especially if the listening is accompanied by meeting of the eyes. One of the legendary lovers of my grad school days looked nothing like a romance hero, but whomever he talked to felt as if he thought she was the most important person on earth.
Also, there's a reason so many romance readers love the witty exchanges between heroine and hero. Talk can be the best foreplay.
but whomever he talked to felt as if he thought she was the most important person on earth.
Janga, that is a wonderfully seductive quality. I too love witty exchanges between characters. Christie Craig does an awesome job with witty exchanges. I'm not thinking of others off the top of my head.....I think I need lunch :)
The part I didn't add is that he started cutting off the shirt while someone else was still in the room. I've never seen my friend Holly leave my apartment so fast. "I've got to go!" and she was gone.
Yeah, it was sorta like a scene out of a novel. I wonder where I could use it.
This is great, Hal.
I'll go next.
5) Don't take yourself too seriously. And by default, be able to laugh freely--and enjoy making her laugh and hearing her joy. Because, as my intelligent father always said, any man who can make a woman laugh can get in her pants.
Marn, I think it's really interesting that sense of humor was second only to honor when Bookbug asked almost 200 romance writers, "In your opinion, what qualities should a hero always have?"
Marn - yes! humor is an excellent addition. And what a thing for a father to say :) So true!
Just take care that you do not laugh at her. Laugh with her, make her laugh...but don not laugh AT her!
LOL, Chance. Ain't that the truth?
Hal, my dad was a trip. I miss him much, though I do shiver at the things he would have taught my boys. LOL!! :)
augh with her, make her laugh…but don not laugh AT her!
Excellent clarification, Chance! *g*
Marn, I can't even imagine if half the stories I've heard are true! *g*
Well, It seems that romance authors prefer being caressed with words to being overwhelmed with passion. Not a single kiss to remember! :lol:
Donna: We’re so lucky to have him here, aren’t we?
That's so sweet of you Donna.
To be honest, I feel privileged that you have managed to put up with me for so long. :D
Julie: OhMmyyyy that Q is dangerous!
Only my favorite red herring could have spotted that! :wink:
MistyJo: Q has nailed it. It’s the power of words. A strong chest can only go so far, and in some instances it is really not needed. Someone who listens to you, as if what you’re saying is valuable, is very seductive. Carrying on an intelligent conversation can be an overwhelming aphrodisiac for a couple.
You say it far better than me Misty. Though talking of chests, I prefer soft to strong. :wink:
Helli: While she is in this good merry mood, take a sword and cut off her shirt.
Isn't that the medieval equivalent of cave man tactics? I don't have a sword but I could snip the buttons with scissors.
Thanks for the tip! :wink:
Isn’t that the medieval equivalent of cave man tactics? I don’t have a sword but I could snip the buttons with scissors.
Thanks for the tip! :wink:
There's a scene in the movie Killers (Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Hiegel) where she's trying to get out of her dress and she says "Break the zipper" and he takes out a knife and cuts the whole thing down the back. *LOL* Priceless!
I know there were lots of people who didn't care for that movie, but I thought it was hilarious.
I still got nuthin', but I'm following along. Y'all are good at this. You should write these down or something. ;)
Now I imagine Q storing a tiny pair of scissor on his person at all times. Just in case.
You never know when a girl needs to be cut out of an article of clothing....
How about a passion for life? Personally, I find it really sexy if a man is passionate about something in his life - a sport, art, his career - as long as the passion is a healthy one, not an obsession. And yes, listening is very seductive!
Jennie - that's a good one! I've met men who seem to have no purpose or passion for anything, and it's so unattractive. But then there are the ones who have too much passion, and that's just exhausting. LOL!
Ohh, passion for life is sexy. So much hotter than a man who wants to sit at home and play video games (*innocent look*)
I can honestly say I've never been cut out of my clothes by a man. Hmmm.....
Q - scissors could definitely be a handy thing to keep with you.....just in case *g*
The frugal matron in me thought... favorite shirt? Cut to shreds? Okay, sexy...but pricey!
And oh, so true...a passion for is good. As long as it isn't for X-box... ;-)
Only my favorite red herring could have spotted that
Red Herring: from the practice of drawing a red herring across a trail to confuse hunting dogs] : something that distracts attention from the real issue.
Me? A Red Herring?
Truly Sir, I am torn between laughing most wickedly at your hypothesis …
and congratulating you upon your supposition. ;)
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