Monday, January 3, 2011
Facing The Test
I’m a firm believer in positive thinking and karma, and have been fortunate enough to benefit from both. In the last four years, I’ve experienced a life-turnaround of nearly epic proportions, at least for me. I’m also a believer in signs. And if this weekend is a sign of how 2011 will be, I may go into hiding.
My weekend included, but was not limited to, canceled flights, missed flights, new destinations, one cheap motel, wearing the same clothes two days in a row, new tickets purchased, late night arrivals, and one lost suitcase. Not only will I not be recovering from this anytime soon, my credit card is in traction as I type.
Four days ago, I was a ball of positivity. This was going to be a big year with a fully revised MS, maybe two, lots of fun projects on the new house, and one awesome trip to New York City. My first, in fact. Add in high hopes in lots of other areas and 2011 was looking good.
Now, not so much. In fact, at some point on Sunday I imagined myself a character in a book being written by a very sadistic author. You know that thing about “make your character’s life bad, then make it worse?” I’m not sure exactly who was writing my story, but she was kicking the crap out of that “make it worse” bit.
And so the test begins. Do I let this lousy beginning set the tone for the rest of my year? Do I go back to my old negative nelly ways and undo all the progress I’ve made? Abso-friggin-lutely not.
This writing gig is one constant test after another. You think, “Once I get this book written and revised into something good, then I’m on my way.” Seven books later, there’s a good chance you’re still searching high and low for an agent and continuing to second guess every word you put on the page.
Then there’s the delusion that once you get a contract, it’s all smooth sailing. Right, you better hope your sales are good and your publisher doesn’t go through a major shakeup. Any number of authors can tell you less than pleasant stories of trying to remain among the published. One, two or even ten contracts are not a guarantee another one is coming.This is one of those times that separates the women from the girls. The writers from the wannabes. When the Courier New meets the blank page. Big girl panties are officially in place. Bring it on, 2011. Bring it on.
What do you do to stay positive? Any tricks to bouncing back from a significant hit? Ready to take on 2011? What do you want to accomplish this year? In writing and elsewhere?
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52 comments:
Good attitude! I also believe the karma balances out and you're getting all the sh*t that 2011 might carry out of the way!
Hmmm. How do I survive the hard times? I remember waking up in that hospital bed with the tube down my throat...and the days after. It's been nearly four years, and I hope that memory will continue to leave me aware of how better things are now.
I set goals with my agent yesterday and it's pretty ambitious. I also joined Weight Watchers, which says something about what I'm hoping for 2011.
I feel pretty positive. And pretty positive there will be some real crap days ahead. It's just the way it goes!
I think most people have a few horror stories connected with travel, but you have to have been there to really understand.
Nothing happens without a reason and for a writer, experiencing the seamier side of life is a godsend.
There is no substitute for experiencing the despair, the fear, the anger, the relief when you survive, and worst of all that godawfull airport coffee.
I'm sorry you had an awful time Terri. But look on the bright side. You can now drag your characters through the misery of lost luggage etc and be totally convincing.
You will have your readers sobbing into their tea cups.
And with your talent I know that you will inject humor into the horror to produce one hell of a good read.
Don't forget about it, WRITE about it.
Thats what I think, sitting here in my comfy arm chair, sipping my scotch.
I would try to use the anger creatively! :wink:
Thanks, Chance. And I hope you're right. The truth is, nothing really bad happened. I wasn't on a plane that went down, no real harm was done, I was just inconvenienced (big time) and I'm out a bit more money than before. But in reality, still nothing horrible.
Congrats on setting goals and joining WW. I'd do that in a heartbeat if I found a veggie I'd eat. :)
Q - Excellent advice, as always. And already followed as I churned the irritation into this blog. LOL! I've actually had some new ideas about the MS in the last day or so, since I had so much time to think about the writing, even if I didn't take anything with me that I could write with.
Thankfully, I really am still feeling quite optimistic about this year. And the years to follow.
Terri, I applaud you for enduring such a travel catastrophe. I agree with Q -- it's all great material for writing, even if it is a royal pain in the ass to experience it.
I'm focusing more on positivity, because it's a more pleasant way to spend my days. :) However, I don't think it is meant to BANISH the bad times. It does give us a better means for DEALING with the annoyances and aggravation--so that we don't get permanently bogged down by them. And so we don't miss the solutions while we're consumed with how miserable our lives are.
I watched Wayne Dyer's PBS special "Excuses Begone" on New Year's Day, and I would highly recommend it. I always love his stuff, but this one really resonated.
How do I stay positive? I take anti-depressants--AND I read magazines. Reading novels is great for boosting the mood, but there is something about a magazine. It's like chatting with your best friend when she's not available. There's some gossip, some helpful hints, a few naughty suggestions for the bedroom that worked for her...it's a rocking good time. And in the end, she might even give you a recipe for chicken you can try tonight. Win-win.
It's like taking a coffee break. Read a few articles--or the whole magazine, whatever--and quietly chant that Maxine motto in the back of your head: "In five years, this won't matter. It barely matters now."
And if none of that works, I flip whatever is frustrating me The Bird. There is just something emotionally satisfying about giving the old FU to the terrorist who is wrecking my life. *LOL*
Accomplish this year: Finish my manuscript. I say this every year--it's like losing weight--but it's sincere.
Ter, there were tons of people I knew on WW who never ate a veggie and still lost weight. It was weird. But then again, there was this article about a guy who lost weight on a Twinkie diet. *LOL* Not kidding. He lost like 30 pounds, I think. It's just about portion (calorie) control.
It helps if you eat a veggie occasionally so you're not starving, but whatever.
Good luck, Chance! I *LOVED* WW! Great plan and system!
This made me want to go out and pull a Rocky up my front steps, followed by the exhilarating fists in the air hooray-ing.
Hell yeah, woman. Well said. Bring it, 2011.
How do I stay positive? I'm not sure. I'm a pretty positive thinking kind of gal. And if it isn't positive thinking, it's pragmatic thinking. Of the, "this sort of mental lashing isn't getting me any closer to my goal now is it? so quit your bitching and go do something" variety. So when I'm not feeling positive and even-keel, I'm telling myself to snap out of it because anything less than positive is counter-productive.
I think part of my problem is that sometimes I don't know what the heck I should be doing. I feel like I CAN get published but some days I'm just not sure HOW I'm going to do it. LOL!!
But this year, I'm just going to focus on the balance. Smaller weekly writing goals but a more sustained effort. More focus during my writing time so that the times I'm not writing I'm really WITH my kids. I don't want to miss my youngest's first year or one of the last years with my oldest all to myself before I have to share him with some elementary school teacher.
PS, way to go chance! Good luck with Weight Watchers! I did it a few years ago and it is a really good system.
Awesome post! I'm also a big believer in positive thinking and karma and I always go into every year and every endeavor with the best thoughts, and something always happens to derail me. That's why I loved your post - a reminder that it happens to us all and we just need to start over and refocus. That we can stay positive even after slipping.
My BIG goal for this year is to finish the damn book. BUT I say that every time.
So, my REAL GOAL this year is to stay focused on my goals and if I miss a few days of writing just get back on it as soon as I can. Focus on staying positive with myself even if I don't go as fast as I want to. It will get written. I can do it. Stop pressuring myself that it has to be awesome the first draft. :)
Ughh, I'm still disappointed that you didn't think of me! I would have rescued you from the boring airport and bad motel. New Year's Day could have started out with lots of laughter and my crazy family. Next time!
I've had a significant hit (or hits) in the past two months with illness. Since November, I've had 2 MRI's, an X-ray, and lots of blood tests. Thus far, I have been diagnosed with a cyst in my brain, Rocky Mountain Spotted Tick Fever, Gout (am I the only one who thinks of a fat Henry VIII when I hear the word "Gout?"), arthiritis in my neck, and a bulging disc in my lower back due to the Degenerative Disc Disease that I've had for years. IMO, the main culprit is the Rocky Mountain Tick Fever. I've apparently had it for a really long time, and I'm experiencing nerve damage. I've reached my limit with all the tests. I'm suppose to have more blood work done, but I keep putting it off. 2011 finds me on medical leave and questions about what to do with my life now. For now, I'm doing what I haven't been able to enjoy in a very long time, visiting my favorite blogs and receiving a healthy dose of laughter every day.
I believe in yoga and meditation to help balance out the negative from the positive. I used to think all that was bogus and a bunch of crap but after a few years of the bad luck chaos train, I was willing to hop aboard a new bandwagon.
2011 just needs to be wrestled and shown who's the alpha in this relationship. I have my ice pick in hand. Who needs help?
Oh man, MistyJo. That all sounds awful. Big hugs and best wishes for good outcomes and better health this year.
Donna - That is the trick, to realize that as much good that comes, there will always be a little crap too. Doesn't mean it's the end of the world. This is when I go to the tried and true affirmations like "You can't fix stupid" and "Tomorrow is another day."
I'll have to look into Mr. Dyer's special. I think I've seen parts of that before, but I'm not sure. I do know one of the things that drives me crazy about my family is that they're great at bitching about how bad things are, but never make any effort to change them. Drives. Me. Nuts.
Hellie - You get all that out of magazines? LOL! Huh, I don't think I get that. Though I do love flipping through WW magazine. I spend a lot of time thinking, "That's a great idea!" or "I could make that!" And then the mag goes in the garbage and the thoughts are gone. LOL!
Huzzah for finishing! Finishing is always good. ;)
So you're saying I could do Weight Watchers without eating veggies? Hmmmm....I'll have to think about this. Tell you what, I'll make a real effort to eat better and actually get my ass moving, and if that still doesn't work, WW will be plan B. Maybe by that point, I could afford it. Oy!
MistyJo, I hope they figure out WTH and you have a better outlook health wise for the rest of 2011.
Marn - You've got that eye of the tiger, baby. LOL! And I love your pragmatism. I'm very practical, but I'm not sure I'm pragmatic. Hellie will tell me once she reads this comment.
One major revelation in the last few days is that even though I didn't spend the last four years writing and finishing a bunch of MSs, I've still learned a ton and I feel pretty damn equiped to figure this publishing thing out.
I know a lot of people (on this crew and elsewhere) say you shouldn't go to conferences until you have something to sell. But I stand behind my belief that every conference gives you something no matter where you are along the getting-pubbed timeline. I've feel a hundred times more confident now than I did even a year ago.
Scape - Once I managed to click something in my brain and stopped trying to make the first draft perfect, things got so much easier. Like a giant weight was lifted. The vomit-it-out first draft philosophy is like my lifeline now. LOL!
Good luck on the goals and just keep going. You have a great attitude and all that talent to back it up!
I have loved the couple of conferences I've been too. There is something to be said about surrounding yourself with other like-minded people.
Misty!!! That tick stuff is nothing to play with. Man, your few months makes my few days sound like a walk in the park. And I'm so sorry I didn't call. When I first got to Memphis, my intention was to rent a car and drive to Little Rock, but when I couldn't get cheaper tickets out that way, I figured there was no sense in hopping in that car. Besides, by that point I was totally exhausted.
You know, with all this time on your hands, you could start putting these crazy characters around you into a book of anecdotes. You'd be a sensation in no time. And no one would believe the stories are true. LOL!
Marn - I don't think I realized how much was sinking in until recently. I had an idea on revising something in the MS the other night and for the first time felt like I could make this book something real and right.
I've always felt like there was something missing from my stuff. Like when you bake and forget the vanilla extract or whatever makes stuff rise. There was just some major ingredient missing. But I think I've found all my ingredients and have a handle on what to do with them. No guarantees, but the new-found confidence sure has me feeling better. LOL!
Awesome blog, Ter! I'm finding it difficult to stay positive. At the moment, I just want to bitch and whine.
I was revising this morning, and had one of those confidence-boosting moments where I thought, "You know, this isn't so bad." I can see progress in the revisions, which is super helpful when it comes to staying positive. It's hard to keep trudging on when you can't see the progress.
Bitching and whining are always permitted. You just need to balance them with a little Pollyanna now and then.
Happy to hear about the progress. I felt good when I realized I'd revised the first 100 pages. That meant I was more than a quarter of the way through and I did that in a pretty short period of time. The further I go, the easier it gets. Well, "easier" being a relative term, of course.
I plan on one more pass after this to focus on nothing but description, then it's off to the beta readers!
Oh, and I love the "This isn't so bad" stuff. I've had that lately too. LOL! It's almost better than finding really good chocolate.
Marnee, thank you! I appreciate the hugs and well wishes.
Sin, thank you! While the end of 2010 sucked, I am determined that 2011 holds a bright future.
Bo'sun, you have my numbers. Use them! And you'll get to see Graceland Too. LOL! I'll make sure that I have the video camera with us so that I capture your facial expressions.
I think I'm the only person who wasn't impressed by the original Graceland. It's a house. A tacky house stuck in the gaudiest form of the 70s. However, this alternate Graceland sounds like a hoot. LOL!
A tacky house stuck in the gaudiest form of the 70s.
I felt this way when I saw Graceland. "Someone lived here? ON PURPOSE? THIS was in style at one time? WTF."
Have to research Graceland Too. *LOL*
Graceland Too makes the orignal Graceland look tasteful. I'm waiting on Graceland Too to shown on Hoarders. I'm surprised Paul (the owner) hasn't lost his teeth in that maze of junk. His tongue gets a major workout by catching his teeth every time they slip while he's talking.
Hellion, you're in for an eye opening experience on YouTube. Ole Miss students like to get drunk and go there for a tour. I've only been on one tour, and thankfully, there was a kid with us, which kept Paul away from his perverted talk.
I had a teacher back in college the first time who had that problem with his teeth. He taught a class about touring and was a roady for the Stones back in the day. The dude make Keith Richards look HEALTHY.
I'll never forget that day his teeth flew right out of his mouth during class. But he was cool. Totally let me sleep off several hangovers for the first half of class. And then would wake me during the break so I would get a drink. LOL!
I've already spent a good part of the morning bitching and moaning about "The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks / That flesh is heir to," to borrow Hamlet's words. But Misty Jo's post reminded me anew that my mother is always proved right. My grounds for complaint seem miniscule in comparison to Misty's. Prayers and hugs to you, MJ.
I think I'm just starting my new year late this year. The grands are still out on break, the kitchen is still filled with pecan pie, fudge, and cheese cake, and I have the bug that the rest of the family suffered through before Christmas. I'm hoping that by Saturday, my days will be grand-free for a while, the kitchen will be filled with fruits and veggies with not a sugary treat in sight, and I'll be feeling well and not hacking like a heavy smoker or a TB patient. Then my new year will begin, and I'll eat healthy, walk daily, and write at least 5000 words a week. But, Ter, just to make sure, if you can bottle some of your fighting spirit and put it in the mail, I'll appreciate it. :-)
Consider it on the way, Janga. And I still can't believe the kids down there have another week. Who is in charge of that scheduling?! I'd bet any money he/she doesn't have kids. LOL!
I talked to my sister a little while ago and she had gone to the ER yesterday with a scare that turned out to be absolutely nothing. I pointed out to her that when we really look at the first few days, nothing bad has happened. I was majorly inconvenienced and out a chunk of money. She was frazzled and a bit emotional, but in reality, none of that is the end of the world.
Must keep a rational head about us.
One of my plans for this year is to visit more museums and take more roadtrips in my state. I also need to use up more of my vacation time, so I'll be taking some time off this month. Of course, I can use this to write, but we know I'm not that productive if I stay at home. I clean or do ridiculous shit.
SO...I'm going to do some daytrips, so I'm at least doing something and maybe it'll inspire some writing.
First trip will be very close to home: the county museum. It's been a long time since I've been (I was a teenager), so I think they've possibly improved on it. (I can hope. It's free, folks.)
But I also have down this thing I've wanted to go to for YEARS. http://www.ftdechartres.com/page/page/1396753.htm
It all balances out in the end, that's my philosophy! Yeah to conferences just for the energy boost. Really, go with an idea and by the time you leave you'll be ready to tackle it!
Misty Jo, one of those years, eh!? I've had a friend who faced the Lyme Disease roller coaster a few years back...late to diagnosis and hell up until then. Not all that much better after, but at least she knew what was going on!
Ter's right, spend the time writing up your memoirs!
It is going to be a great year! Really!
Hellie - That looks similar to Williamsburg and the same time period! Mostly. Don't forget to take your camera!!!
Chance - You're my go to girl for enthusiasm whenever mine wanes. LOL! Though you have lots of reasons to look forward to this year. Including a launch party on the horizon!
I should make an effort to get to the lighthouses around here. I've been here over six years and not seen one. Not close up anyway.
I need to do that.
Hel, that looks like just up your ally! Go forth and do it!
Wow, locally...well, I can visit the Aquarium again. It's been more than a year. And I've been to the Winchester House of Mystery, but my husband hasn't. We ought to do that one weekend. There's a mansion known for it's gardens called Filoli up the peninsula some...always wanted to go visit that...
And take a cruise on San Francisco Bay...yeah, that would be fun! Hel, you're inspirin' me!
Janga, thank you! Prayers and hugs are needed and welcomed, and I hope that you feel better soon. This southern weather is not helping with sickness. One day we're bundling up in layered clothing, and the next day we can't strip enough to cool off.
2nd Chance, I hate to hear that about your friend. I recently met a woman, who has Lyme Disease, and she travels from Mississippi to Arizona once a year for treatments with a specialist. I hope your friend has a good doctor close to her. And I agree. This year is going to be great!
As for writing, I have this new addiction that will probably hinder any productivity. My mother gave me a NOOK for Christmas because she decided that I needed something special after the past two months. Since Christmas, I've been as bad as any other kid playing with a brand new toy. LOL
Forts and lighthouses are great! I love when TAPS (Ghost Hunters) explore them.
Winchester House of Mystery,
I love that house! *LOL* I've been! It's so cool! And creepy.
There was a book out a few decades back...a fantasy post apocalyptic world where a group of young people inhabited the house and found a doorway to another world...pretty cool idea!
One day I want to do their flashlight tour...
You do get around, Hellion! Been to San Jose, eh?
Misty - You would. :)
I don't want to tour anything that is going to freak me out. Too much like a haunted house for my liking.
*LOL* Yes, Chance, I do get around. I've been to California twice. First time we toured Hollywood and stuff; and the 2nd time, I was in Northern California, and we did the Winchester House and the redwood forest. I'm sure there is much, much more to see. I like California.
Their flashlight tour would be scary. I'd be afraid I'd fall out of the 2nd story or whichever door goes to nowhere. *LOL*
They do them around Halloween and whenever there is a Friday the 13th... Bwah ha ha!
It's a bit strange, but not seriously scary, Bo'sun. At least I didn't find it so.
We have a lighthouse, but it isn't one you can climb up into. More of a replica at the harbor entrance...
I don't know, Chance, I'm a total fraidy cat when it comes to that stuff. Don't like to even feel uncomfortable. LOL! They have this Hallowscream thing at Busch Gardens every October and I won't go because people jump out at you all over the damn park.
No one jumps out at you at Winchester. They just take you around the house, show you the stairways that go nowhere, the windows that open to walls, the doors that don't open...all the maze-like aspect of the house. There's about 3-4 tours you can take. It's an awesome house...
It's just a little creepy, Bo'sun. Sarah Winchester supposedly built the house--and kept building on it until her death--because she felt haunted by the ghosts of people who'd been killed by the winchester rifle (how she had her fortune.) Her husband and child died when she was young--it was very sad. And this was also the time period when the Occult and seances were very popular...so I think those had a lot of influence as well.
It's a Victorian house...it's very cool to look at. Lots of guns.
Oh, I've seen that house on television! She had regular seances there. And lots of doors that lead to nowhere, she just never wanted the house to be finished. Aha! I remember something. LOL!
I could handle that.
Yeah, the stuff in storage is mindblowing...the
Tiffany windows and other designer items that never found a place, or are stored because of damage. The place is huge and it's really impressive.
Terri, I love the "big girl panties" graphic!
I'm sorry your year got off to such a rough start. My picture could be in the dictionary as an example of the glass-half-empty crowd, so I'm not exactly Ms. Sunshine. However, what works for me is reminding myself frequently that this (or these), too, shall pass and in the meantime just doing what I can do.
Good luck with everything!
Hey there, Nancy. Thanks for stopping by. I use the "this too shall pass" thing all the time. Or I hear Scarlet in my head assuring me tomorrow is another day. LOL!
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