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Thursday, December 23, 2010
The Barkeep's Revenge
These parties be wreakin’ havoc on the rum stores! I swear I been makin’ midnight forays to the Tortuga Liquor Barn all week. My arms are tired from the rowin’, my back be sore as no one will help me heave the new cases ta the deck and me feet be killing me since me stools been swiped and bein’ used ta highlight the hottie a’ the week. The crew be useless, all they be wantin’ ta do is sing and drink. And eat. I ain’t seen Santa or Duff all month! (I think Hellion chained them ta the galley stove.)
Now, it be Christmas Eve and I have things ta do! The tinsel be so heavy on the mast, I think the ship be top heavy (yeah, insert snicker here!) And the scent a’ pine from that idiot tree they hauled aboard be makin’ me nose drip. Now they be dancin’ about it and coverin’ it with tinsel!
Hell, I can’t get anyone ta relieve me fer a privy break so I’ve had to resort ta the jar behind the bar. These scallywags be so drunk, no one takes notice of me pleas fer help… Time fer some vengeance…
Barkeep’s Revenge (Sung to the tune of The Little Drummer Boy)
“Rum!” They cried out!
“Want rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
The crew did shout and shout!
“Want rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
I need another keg!
“Want rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
Some help, don’t make me beg!
“More rum punch, and rum!”
rum punch, and rum!”
rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
They ignored my plea
“Just rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
Kept decking that tree.
They’ll regret this…
“Want rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
Where’s that jar of piss?
“Want rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
I hope they like the kick…
“Want rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
Oh, what a dirty trick!
“More rum punch, and rum!”
rum punch, and rum!”
rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
Shall I serve you more?
“Just rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
Come let me pour.
“What’s she done to us?
No more rum punch, or rum!” (Ack! Gag!)
“Where’s the blunderpuss?
She’s ruined the rum!” (Spit! Heave!)
Sounds like I better run!
“No more rum punch, or rum!” (Run! Run!)
I was just having fun!
Run! Sin has the gun!”
Run Chance, run run!”
Run Chance, run, run!”
Saved by my kraken friend
“More rum punch, and rum!” (Rum! Rum!)
(Least he liked the blend…)
The holidays, they be pure madness, I tell ya! By now, I’ve about had all I can take. January can’t happen soon enough for me. My holiday spirit waxed and waned all month. Now, ya know most of the drinks here on the Revenge be purely in the cavernous mind a’ yer’s truly. But I’ve read some good books with drinks in them. Carole Nelson Douglas serves up a new one with every new book in her Delilah Street, Paranormal Investigator, series. I know cooking series often serve up recipes, but I don’t see many for the bar…
Have you a favorite drink? Literary born or not? Share the recipe and we’ll add it ta the tab! And if you use Kraken Black Rum? Even better!
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Loader's Logic (2nd Chance)
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25 comments:
You pissed in the rum and ran everyone off, ye scurvy wench. Ha! Serves you right.
Speaking of running off, must hit the road. Have fun trying to get them to come back now.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE, EVERYONE!!
Ewwwww! It's BYOB from now for me. LOL
Hope everyone has a safe trip, and a Merry Christmas. One more day of madness for me and then I'm off for the next two days. SO looking forward to that!
Be safe driving home and count yerself lucky ya didn't drink the rum afore hittin' the highway!
Donna - What? ;-)
Retail at the bitter end, it's insane, ain't it? Then things go crazy after the holidays with returns. And people coming in ta use their gift cards... Just keep smiling!
Another incredible installment, Chance. I just hope I can keep a straight face at Christmas Mass when the carolers sing the traditional versions tonight.
All that's left now is the cleaning!!! Wish me luck. I'll just keep telling myself at least I'm not Donna dealing with the public today. LOL
Merry Christmas, pirates! Have a blessed, peaceful weekend enjoying the best the season has to offer!
Yeah, don't break out in a chorus of "Rum more Rum" in the midst of Little Drummer Boy...might be looked at oddly!
Have a happy holiday, Irish!
Do you hear what I hear?
*crickets
Do you hear what I hear?
*crickets
Crickets? OMGcrickets! Me daughter's lizards need bugsies. Thanks Chanch you sweetheart of a Rum punch sabotage-eeerrr!
Glad I could help, Julie. Just sitting here, playing cards with meself... Have fun shopping fer yer crickets...
Well, I'm at a loss, I must confess. And I guess...well, I have things to do. If no one will come aboard, then no on will come aboard... Bye.
Chance, I think that you are very brave to drink from this poisoned chalice.
The Xmas Eve spot was never going to be a riot!
Though peeing in the rum may be a little extreme! LOL
Favorite drink?
Apart from single malt whiskey I'm very partial to a nice Sauterne with my Christmas pudding.
The pure amber of scotch to relax in the evening and generate vivid sensual dreams.
A little brandy to settle the nerves and prepare me for the fray
A little Sauterne to soothe the stomach and pander to my sweet tooth
No messy cocktails for me!
Thanks pirates for a year of stunning entertainment.
Have a Very Merry Christmas
And May your God go with you!
Thanks for stopping by Q. So what is Sauterne? It sounds nice!
Terri is on the road, Donna has to work the retail gig...don't know where the captain is, or the rest. I'm thinking staging a take over...
*wicked laugh*
Chance, sometimes it pays to be almost a teetotaler. ;-)
Donna, you have my sympathy. I just had to run to the florist and to Kroger to get an item I left off my grocery list, and roads, parking lots, and stores are all filled with people going beserk.
Happy Holidays, all!
Julie, wicked laugh, indeed!
What shall I rename MY ship?
Janga, they were being needlessly needy and demanding. They deserved it!
I'm so sorry I'm so late. The fam is coming here for Christmas eve dinner so I'm running around like a chicken with no head.
Great parody, Chance. Rum, rum. Rum rum rum.... (I'm planning to have me some of that tonight.)
Merry Christmas all. :)
Make it kraken rum, Marn! And you won't mind the family stuff at all!!!!
I'm finally home. Well, I've been here for a couple hours but getting food into the cats and myself (different food entire, of course) took precedence. Now, I can relax. Except my living room is a mess. But as soon as I clean that up, THEN, I can relax.
My sister did send me the black out/thermal curtains. They are UP and I will be sleeping in tomorrow morning in glorious, glorious darkness.
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Coo-ool! I love sleeping in darkness. Why is the living room a mess...did Bumbles and Caelen take down the tree for you?
*snicker
Ahhhh.... Sleeping in darkness. :)
Welcome back home, Ter. Glad you had a safe trip. And Merry Christmas, an hour early.
Chanceroo, had Christmas with my fam today. So sorry I wasn't around. Just now sitting down. I did make sugar cookies with bourbon today in Christmas tribute to the pirates. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
The house was a mess because we left it a mess yesterday morning. It's a bit better now.
Thanks, Marn. Merry Christmas to you too! Hey, it's after midnight. I'm right on time. LOL!
Merry Christmas, Sin! Hope you ate some of those cookies for us.
Merry Christmas to all! May there be no piss in yer rum...
Merry Christmas to all the crew of the Revenge!
May 2011 bring peace and prosperity to us all,
AC
who is feeling a bit pissy herself
I do enjoy AC's ironic "pissy". *LOL*
I'm sorry I wasn't here either. I couldn't drag my ass out of bed on Christmas Eve, then I had to frantically wrap gifts, shower and dress, and drive out in the wintery weather to the farm to cook. But lots of good visiting; then Dad, Eldon and I feasted. I stayed overnight since the roads refroze and was unsure if I'd get out safely. Just got home a half hour ago. Roads are clear now.
Love the song, Chancey, but if you think I'm ever letting you make my drinks again....
Aunt Cindy! I wouldn't do anything to your drink!
Hellion, wow...frozen roads...shiver! Not for me either...
You can trust me! It was just a song! ;-)
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