Thursday, November 25, 2010
Black Friday Revenge Style
That’s right, it’s Black Friday. That crazy day when calm, polite people turn into an angry, elbow wielding mob charging through box store aisles in a battle for the last super-duper, I-Don’t-Need-This-But-It’s-FOUR DOLLARS deal. I want to save as much money as the next broke writer, but I’m not climbing out of bed in the middle of the night to stand in line for a television at the butt-crack of dawn. Uh uh.But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a sale. In fact, we’re having a blow out of epic proportions all day long. (Epic might be overstating it, but I’m going with it.) What are we selling, you might ask? Not what you’re expecting – since I assume you’re expecting me to say rum. Nope, the rum is always free on this boat.
What we’re selling today is writing elements. The decks are covered with heroes, heroines, settings, plot twists, and, of course, more tropes than you can shake a keyboard at.
Here’s what you do. Peruse the shelves, throw the elements you want into your basket, then share what you threw together. Think of it like Romance Mad Libs.
Heroes – There are some hero elements that are a given. Tall. That’s a given. Hung. Well, that goes without saying. But there are lots of parts that are up for grabs. *ignores snickering* We’ve got alphas, betas, gammas, brooding silent types, suave dandies with rapier wit, geeks who secretly lift weights, and mysterious men hiding a dangerous second life.Heroines – This is the girl we all want to be. But, we all want to be something different, which means a vast selection in this section. Wallflowers in the back, Femme Fatales up front, professional women, conservatives hiding a bad girl, sex kittens trying to reform, the girl next door whose sworn off men, the girl next door on the hunt for a man, and the diamond of the first water all here.
Settings – Clearly, we couldn’t fit all possible settings onto the ship. But we did manage to fit a few general ones. London. (That takes care of historicals.) Big city, small town, smaller town, alternate universe, secluded mountain cabin, tropical island, south of France, Italian villa, Arabian palace, wild frontier, and the Australian Outback.
Tropes – These are the life blood of what we do. The tried and true snatches of reality that make a story relatable for the readers. The Bluestocking reforming the Rake, the peasant winning her prince, the CEO cut down to size by love, the wild cougar/were/panther tamed by love, the girl/boy next door saving the world, beauty and the beast, and a bonus special, two-for-one secret baby special.Plot twists – These are what make the tropes more interesting. The twists and turns that make the story ours and make the reader to sit up and say, “Man, I didn’t see that coming at all!” These are the big ticket items, so you might want to get another basket at this point. The sidekick who turns out to be evil is a favorite. The ex-wife who turns out NOT to be so ex is always problematic. The mother whose not the mother, the time-travel portal in the mirror, the stowaway under the carriage seat, the match-making albino kraken (for you Chancey!), the cop with a private agenda, the title-coveting great-uncle, and we could never forget the secret passage behind the bookcase.
Endings – HEA. (Don’t worry, we have an unlimited supply of these.)
Okay, the gangplank is open and the sale is on. Pick your poison and tell us what you’re slipping into your basket. It’s a good bet the shelves will clear quick, so feel free to throw in anything we forgot and we’ll add it to the inventory.
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39 comments:
Plot twists...I could use a really good one, or five. When you're setting the stage for the albino kraken to take down a zepellin...well, you need all the help you can get!
I can get...
I'm calling dibs on Richard Armitage up there. Otherwise I'm sure he'll be gone during one of those doorbuster special things while I'm still getting my coffee. LOL
This was really great, Terri. I was chuckling through the whole thing. Very inventive. And when I come back in the morning -- the OTHER morning, the one with coffee in it -- I'll see what else I need to add to my shopping cart!
I like collecting rare/unusual objects and am intrigued at the way that the Greek alphabet has crept into the romance world with alphas betas and gammas. Each one has an elementary particle equivalent but science has found many more.
I'm hoping to snap up a romantic delta or a passionate omega, even a besotted omega minus.
Yep, an omega minus would make my day and add some spin to my latest plot.
Nice one Terri! :D
Chance - You can do it. Hell, you come up with plot twists I'd never even think of. That most people wouldn't think of!
Donna - I posted that pic just for you, darlin'. LOL! I put "tall dark handsome" into Google images and he popped right up, no lie. He does look especially yummy in that picture. I might have to keep him for myself. ;)
Oh, and did I mention this is shopping you can do in your jammies without leaving home? That's another reason I like this sale better.
Then again, I walked out of the house into HUMIDITY this morning. When did they move Thanksgiving to August?
You have a point, Q, our heroes almost sound like a fraternity. And I'm not sure about the Omega part, but when you add the minus, I bet I qualify. LOL!
Ohh, what a great idea, Ter! I much prefer this shopping to fighting the crowds today! I'll definitely take a beta hero and a second-chance-at-love trope. This is a lightning visit, so I'll have to consider the rest and return after the rush.
One of my best girlfriends does all her Christmas shopping on Black Friday, midnight on. She came back at 4:30 with it all done. Crazy, I say. I hung in some warm jammies and went to bed early.
Heaven.
I like a good alpha hero with a warm gushy center, please.
I like both contemporary and historical settings, though I do prefer my historical settings post 1800.
I might have to keep him for myself.
Hah! We'll definitely have one of those Black Friday melee situations in here then!
Someone on Twitter posted about this play he was in recently, in London, and it sounded adorable. A couple were putting up there Christmas tree and I think it gave wishes or something. Anyway the husband wished he looked like Richard Armitage, and he goes out and then Richard comes back out. LOL I guess he was wicked funny--acting like he was the original guy trying to get used to this new sexy body, etc. Wish I could SEE it. (Maybe Santa Claus is listening!)
Donna - I should warn you, I'm a scrapper from way back. Bring backup. :)
I'm certain Santa is listening, but I'm not sure what she can do to get you to London. LOL!
Janga - How could I forget the reunion story?! I knew I could count on you, my beta-loving friend. LOL! Hope the chaos settles soon.
Marn - Done by 4:30? That is insanity. Since kiddo won't be here for Christmas, and I dont' get my bonus until Christmas Eve, I see last minute shopping for me this year. LOL!
Ah well, I'm a lover not a fighter, Terri. LOL I'll definitely need to employ seconds for this duel!
And maybe Santa could just bring him over here? I'd even let you look at him if that happened. :)
Okay, I need to do some NaNoing--I took off yesterday, and I'm so close to the end. I think I'm at 41k, so I don't want to fall down NOW.
I'd settle for looking. He is so darn pretty. LOL!
Go to it, Donna! I think I just finished the synopsis so I'll be sending that out shortly. (What? It's not like anyone else is working around here either.)
It sounds like he might actually be NICE too. Apparently there was some bus that took the actors AND playgoers to some party, and a woman on Twitter blogged about how she got to sit next to him on the bus (their thighs touched! LOL), and he was just a very nice person.
Of course, how he could not be? He IS my pretend boyfriend. LOL
And hey, if you're working (on something very important), it's work. :) Who are you sending it to? Anyone I know? :)
Wait, is touching thighs an option too?
Well, you did say you'd read it. So, yeah, that would be to you. LOL!
Yay! I thought so, but I didn't want to assume anything. :)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind that thigh-touching thing either--although I might change the angle just a little bit. LOL
It's whirling its way through cyberspace as I type! But, of course, NaNo comes first. Churn out those words.
CONFLICT.
Damn fingers...
I guess I should say what would be in my cart. Since it's such a slow day and there's really no need for more build up. LOL!
I'll take a Beta by the ocean with a good girl going bad and secret spy case where the bad guys might be the least of their worries. Throw in a parrot who is the only witness to the crime and a love scene on a private yacht and we're headed for one heck of a HEA. Or something overly convoluted, but that means lots of conflice, right?
Wow! Touching thighs could last a long time in the fantasy department. A writer would take that and turn it into a good 150 pages of sexual angst!
Ter - I'll take a Beta by the ocea... sounds like a song lyric by Jimmy Buffet!
If it were a normal Friday, I'd think about some shopping for the holidays. At this point, maybe Monday... I have to ship some stuff. And though the stuffing left a ton to be desired...Bonny thoroughly enjoyed dashing at the goats and forcing them away from the fence...
Now this is a black sale special I would have gotten up at 5:30 am for.
I'm throwing an alpha male in my cart, with a propensity to chat and really great at sex (though I suppose all the heroes are, right? Who tests for that?) A girl next door who's sworn off men. Secluded mountain cabin (her uncle's). Trope: reunited lovers. Twist: the girl he left her for previously shows up with his secret baby. Yeah, try to make a HEA out of that!
I actually have touching thighs in my MS. LOL! It's a moment early in the sexual tension. ;)
Chance - I'd be happy to write that song for Buffet and let him make me lots of money.
I knew someone would go for the secret baby, but I never thought it would be Hellie. LOL! Actually, something very similar did happen on Gilmore Girls, now that I think about it. I like the cabin bit, but how does her uncle play into this? Is he a match-making uncle?
It's her uncle's cabin; he lent it to her so she can finish her manuscript (she has writer's block). She doesn't realize that this guy lives next door and looks after the property until the uncle comes. Uncle didn't warn the guy--so yes, uncle is sorta matchmaking. The rogue.
Meddling relatives. That is so believable.
How come it's never secret twins?
Because one child is awful enough.
really great at sex (though I suppose all the heroes are, right? Who tests for that?)
OMG, what a great question. I can just see someone testing them, checking items off a list, and then saying, "You were really close in a lot of areas, but I'm afraid you're only qualified to be the sidekick or wingman. But hey, that's how a lot of heroes actually start, before they get their own book."
LOL
Donna, you sound impartial and qualified...sounds like you've already got the test questions and form all made up! *LOL*
As long as the H/H aren't secret twins. I don't care how good you are, you CANNOT get a HEA out of that.
I'm not sure there would be questions or forms in this test. It would have to be all performance based. ;)
P.S. I *am* NaNoing. And then I'm going to read your synopsis, Terri. :)
"Here we go a NaNoing. . ." That's my contribution to the Christmas music. LOL
So just ONE of us is expected to do ALL the performance reviews.
Woo doggie. Better get some vitamins. LOL
Since *I* spent the first couple of years in charge of the hottie recruitment, I feel I'm more than qualified to help in this endeavor.
Thanks for the read, Donna. I've cleaned up all of the first 50 pages of the MS except the last scene involved, which has to be totally re-written. But at least I know I can spend the next three days working on nothing but that. Well, two days. I actually like the first 38 pages, which is more than I expected LOL!
I'm headed home but need to make a quick stop at the store. Wish me luck and if I'm not back in 10 hours, send the national guard.
Well, I don't know... We watched "the Rocky Horror Picture Show" the other night and Riff Raff and Magenta are siblings... Of course, they are also aliens... They did seem happy to be returning to Transexual and their own HEA...
I say Donna still has to do a pirate carol!
Chance, your evil is boundless. LOL
And that WAS my pirate carol. (I know you guys are humming it now. I can hear it.)
Hey, Donna...you'll be done with NaNo...you can do it! Pic a carol, piratize it! Easy peasy!
I survived Target and even got some presents for Kiddo. Not leaving the house the rest of the weekend.
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