Monday, October 4, 2010
An Open Letter to our Pirate Lurkers (With Prizes!)
Ahoy Dear Lurkers,
Don’t be lookin’ behind ye, this letter be as it looks, directed at our sneakiest of visitors. The Lurkers. We know you’re with us, lurking about the decks, ogling our fine hottie crew members, drinking all our rum. Ye’ve hid yerself well these many months, but we see when you don’t think we’re looking.
Okay, we have built-in thing-a-ma-bobs on this here ship that tell us you’re lurking about. Or a-lurking, as Chance might say. Aha! You’re laughing because you were lurking last week, weren’t ye? Sure ye were.
This letter is not meant to shoo ye away or scare ye into hiding deeper in the bows of this ship. Not a'tall. This letter is to ask that ye come out, even if for just this once, and leave us a little comment. Ye can tell us we’re lilly-livered lame brains you only follow to see what cat piss we’ll be spewing today. That’s fine. We won’t even make ye walk the plank for it.
In fact, I’m going to make you a deal. You see, we’d really like to see your smiling (or unsmiling) comments. We’d love fer ye to join in, give us your thoughts. Hell, ye might even be good at keeping us on topic.
Yes, we know we stray, far and often, but we’d be more than happy to have you pull us back to the point at hand. (I can’t guarantee Sin and DRD will stop those blasted notes, but the rest a’us will do the best we can.)
In exchange for your comments, we’ll make the following promises:
1.) We will NOT pressgang you into joining the crew. We realize we have been known to do this in the past, and we’re happy we did since it’s expanded the crew and made us better. But we realize not everyone is up for sailing the seas with drunken wenches who would rather lick a hottie than revise a chapter. So consider yerself free to come and go as ye please.
2.) We will not bite. I’d think this would be obvious, since we may be unruly and a bit crass but never rude. As mentioned above, disagree all you like. Be contrary, it will make you fit in even more. Fire yer guns of angst and whining. We can take it.
3.) We bathe regularly, have the ship protected against any and all parasites, and even have all our teeth. Don’t let the old stereotypes fool you, we’re clean, in body if not in mind. Some of us even smell pretty too. I’d stand upwind of the Undead Monkey if I were you, but we can’t have everything be perfect, now can we?
Consider these our solemn pirate vows. I’d hate to beg, it’s so unbecoming of a pirate. So come out come out whereever ye be. Leave us a comment, tell us how long ye’ve been lurking, what you like, what ye don’t. Let us have it!
One lucky lurker – someone who has never left a comment before – will get their choice of either a $15 Amazon card or a $15 iTunes card. That oughta be worth a comment at least!
Sincerely,
Romance Writer’s Revenge Crew
Don’t be lookin’ behind ye, this letter be as it looks, directed at our sneakiest of visitors. The Lurkers. We know you’re with us, lurking about the decks, ogling our fine hottie crew members, drinking all our rum. Ye’ve hid yerself well these many months, but we see when you don’t think we’re looking.Okay, we have built-in thing-a-ma-bobs on this here ship that tell us you’re lurking about. Or a-lurking, as Chance might say. Aha! You’re laughing because you were lurking last week, weren’t ye? Sure ye were.
This letter is not meant to shoo ye away or scare ye into hiding deeper in the bows of this ship. Not a'tall. This letter is to ask that ye come out, even if for just this once, and leave us a little comment. Ye can tell us we’re lilly-livered lame brains you only follow to see what cat piss we’ll be spewing today. That’s fine. We won’t even make ye walk the plank for it.
In fact, I’m going to make you a deal. You see, we’d really like to see your smiling (or unsmiling) comments. We’d love fer ye to join in, give us your thoughts. Hell, ye might even be good at keeping us on topic.
Yes, we know we stray, far and often, but we’d be more than happy to have you pull us back to the point at hand. (I can’t guarantee Sin and DRD will stop those blasted notes, but the rest a’us will do the best we can.)
In exchange for your comments, we’ll make the following promises:1.) We will NOT pressgang you into joining the crew. We realize we have been known to do this in the past, and we’re happy we did since it’s expanded the crew and made us better. But we realize not everyone is up for sailing the seas with drunken wenches who would rather lick a hottie than revise a chapter. So consider yerself free to come and go as ye please.
2.) We will not bite. I’d think this would be obvious, since we may be unruly and a bit crass but never rude. As mentioned above, disagree all you like. Be contrary, it will make you fit in even more. Fire yer guns of angst and whining. We can take it.
3.) We bathe regularly, have the ship protected against any and all parasites, and even have all our teeth. Don’t let the old stereotypes fool you, we’re clean, in body if not in mind. Some of us even smell pretty too. I’d stand upwind of the Undead Monkey if I were you, but we can’t have everything be perfect, now can we?
Consider these our solemn pirate vows. I’d hate to beg, it’s so unbecoming of a pirate. So come out come out whereever ye be. Leave us a comment, tell us how long ye’ve been lurking, what you like, what ye don’t. Let us have it!
One lucky lurker – someone who has never left a comment before – will get their choice of either a $15 Amazon card or a $15 iTunes card. That oughta be worth a comment at least!
Sincerely,
Romance Writer’s Revenge Crew
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80 comments:
Let me chime in here wit' this premise... Lurkers, dear lurkers...we be a congenial crew. I serve the good stuff and one upon a time... I were a lurker, too.
It took bravery fer me ta climb outta the hold where I were hidin' and makin' known me presence. But I never regretted it and be thankful fer the crew that took me in.
We gots writers a' all flavors, opinions varied and various, and we welcome newcomers or just the occassional visitor.
Come on, luvs! Comment ta us!
I'll even toss the undead monkey ta the kraken fer the day...he normally takes awhile ta crawl back aboard.
Do take advantage a' our resident kraken...he eats inner critics!
I can also offer a free equation for the best scientifically based lurker comment.
If no takers maybe I could swap it for one of those gift token thingees? *grin*
Yesterday Marjana kaly Said :
I think I would do almost about anything for love. I love my hubby and can’t image what will happen if I lose him some how but one thing is for sure, I would do anything to win him back.
Marjana, I was so impressed I just had to repeat your comment. You have restored my dented faith in womanhood. :D
Hello ladies,
I'm not sure I've commented before as I seem to make a career of lurking, but I love putting my name in for free gift cards. I've been watching the site via RSS longer than I can remember.
As far as keeping you guys on topic, as a writer myself still struggling to complete that first manuscript, I most enjoy blogs which talk about the art of writing - and the hotties, of course.
Chance - You are probably the happiest press-ganged pirate I know. LOL! We're glad you mustered up the courage to chime in, and look where it landed you!
Q - Your dented faith in womanhood? LOL! Were you hanging out with PIRATES thinking we were a normal reflection of womanhood? LOL!
Liz! Thank you for being the first brave soul to come forward. Still working on the first one, eh? If you've been lurking then you know I only finished me first this spring. Three years it took to get to that point. And the thing isn't even near polished yet.
But do keep going. That feeling of writing THE END, even on a shitty first draft, is well worth all the toil and trouble.
You're in the drawing, fair lady.
Poor Q is in a sulk about the cynicism of womankind. Have some scotch, my dear Q. *pours scotch* I think you'd understand the cynicism more if you'd had to try dating within the last 20 years. Dating from scratch. Not dating someone who has already agreed to hang out with you. Even my friend who has been with her man since high school says she wouldn't want to have to date in this environment. And it's not like I think dating was really all that easier 20 years ago or a 100 years ago--there are wallflowers in every crowd--but it just feels like everyone is so much more ruder about it.
Liz! You are a brave lass! Congratulations on being the first new lurker comment...and clearly ahead in the running. Odds are far more favorable for this lottery than say, Powerball, and cheaper too! :) Good luck on your manuscript!
I'm not sure how long I've been lurking or even how I found you. LOL. I just know I read your posts on my reader regularly.
Why haven't I posted before? I dunno. Well...I drink a lot. I probably thought I commented and didn't.
No more grog before 9am. :)
drunken wenches who would rather lick a hottie than revise a chapter
Who are these wenches? I want names! They've got to be mythical creatures, the ones sailors talk about on long voyages. LOL
Welcome, Lurker Liz! I hope we have lots more brave souls today. :)
I too am a former lurker, and now -- well, you can see how they can't get me to shut up. LOL
So, Donna, done any revising yet this morning? Yep, these wenches would be YOU. LOL!
Maria! I think I found you through JK Koi a while back, but then life got crazy and sacrifices had to be made. There are so many blogs I don't get to visit anymore.
Thanks for following along and for coming out of hiding to give us a shout.
Grr, Terri. LOL I was doing revisions til midnight last night, and woke up late -- I feel like I've got a hangover. A revision hangover! LOL
Welcome, Maria!
That's right, you were up late doing "revisions". Is that what you're calling him these days?
LOL -- Terri, you're gonna get me in trouble with Q. Revising a man. . .they're already perfect! :)
How about crew members who've been too busy to lurk. Can we be entered into the lot for the iTunes money? I need new headbanging music for the muse.
This is truly an awesome blog. I love new faces. I promise to behave. But the undead monkey is on his own.
I love that Q has become the protector against besmirching all of man.
You should have commented under an assumed name, Sin. LOL! We'll see how the drawing goes, maybe we'll get you a pity iTunes card.
Did everyone see Sin's written confession? Where she promises to behave? LOL (Hope she didn't write it in disappearing ink.)
The note self-destructs at midnight tonight. After that, don't count on it.
Donna - I'm pretty sure that means only for today.
Yeah, I figured she'd have an escape route. LOL
It's good to *see* you, Sin. I'd write you a letter, but I'm too tired. LOL
I have to take an excursion off the ship for a bit, so be gracious, ladies. Fingers crossed we get a couple more lurkers to come out of the shadows.
Can we be entered into the lot for the iTunes money? I need new headbanging music for the muse.
Well SIniSInsin, why didn't you tell me that you needed some new headbanging music?
Here you go. Download this to your Ipod. It's a CD of Barry Manilow singing Hank Williams the third hits. That'll make you & your muse want to bang your head against something!
Dear DRD,
Stop monopolizing all the hotties at night and you wouldn't be so tired.
Ever heard of sharing?
Sincerely,
Evil Twin
Dear DRD,
Stop monopolizing all the hotties at night and you wouldn’t be so tired.
Gosh, when Donna said that she was spending all of her free time playing monopoly ... I thought that she was talking about the board game! WTH
Jules, my good woman, don't be trashing Hank III. He's a good singer.
Did everyone see Sin’s written confession? Where she promises to behave?
Every day my husband asks me "Julie, are you behaving on the Internet?"
To which I say... Quite honestly... " Why YES dear, I am."
Now I might give him a slightly different answer if he asked "Julie, are you behaving Nicely on the Internet?" Or behaving Maturely. Or ...
Who said I Didn't like Hank? The man is a brilliant. Not only is he a good singer, he's a great storyteller.
The thought of Manilow trying to sing like Hank sounded rather amusing.
Besides
I had no idea how to spell Carmen Miranda!
Wow! We're off to a dull roar with...two lurkers coming out of the...uh...wherever they were! ;-)
Isn't Q sweet?
I mean I didn't say I wouldn't do anything for love (dang, there's that song again) I just said I didn't know what I'd do!
Dear Evil Twin,
Please read my earlier comment where I said I was REVISING, not playing with Hotties.
Not that I would share them anyways. They help me sleep better.
Very truly yours,
DRD
Julie, I haven't played monopoly in years! There are so many versions now -- why isn't there a Hottie Monopoly?
Oh yeah. Everybody would be too distracted! LOL
I have to run some errands -- but I'm going to reward myself by buying some books! See ya later, pirates.
See ya later, princess! Have fun storming the castle...uh bookstore! Keep yer cutlass strapped down and don't track sand inta the store!
Well, this desinigrated quick.
*sigh*
I tried.
Did you tweet about the prizes? Facebook nag? Go visit other blogs and tell them we're giving something away...? Like the Bandits?
Yup, sometimes ya gots ta shill. (I think that's the word I want...)
;-)
Since we have a wide open space for discussion today, I'll put out there that Hellie and I are set on putting books in the Golden Heart competition. Do we have any other takers?
Marn? Hal? DRD? Anyone?!
I'm not sure that's the word or not. What the hell does that mean? LOL!
I put it on Facebook, but the idea was to say hello to the ones who are already here. I'm not trying to buy commenters from other sites. LOL!
We'll just settle with being happy to know their there. Somewhere. Lurking.
Alright already - the sister of the famous 2nd Chance finally checking in, in person!! TA-DA!! I really do exist.
However, I question my status as a lurker; am I really a lurker when y'all know I'm there? And 2nd posts my comments once in a while? It is a conundrum, seems to me.
I am not an author; I am a reader. Have always hesitated to put in my 2-cents worth amongst all you aspiring writers.
I just really enjoy the ride with the Pirates during my work day - makes me smile! Keep up the good work, and I will try not to be such a chicken and speak up - you might regret that invitation!!!
OMG!! IT'S A SIGN!! CAPTCHA CODE IS RUMH!!!
am I really a lurker when y’all know I’m there?
I did have to approve your comment, so I'd say yes, it counts.
I’ll put out there that Hellie and I are set on putting books in the Golden Heart competition.
I cannot believe you announced that. I told you last night I can't stand that manuscript. *LOL* I read it again this morning, it's still horrible. I feel like I'm sending my short-bus child off to play with bullies. Why would I do that?
Last Chance has a voice! Whoot! Of course you count as a lurker. The whole point of this was that we know you're all there. LOL! We can see the numbers, we just don't know why no one speaks up.
We figured if we promised not to harass, kidnap, or in any way harm y'all, that you'd come out of hiding.
And it's working. A little! Last Chance, you are IN the drawing. And don't hesitate to comment in future. Hearing from readers is exactly what we authors need. You're our bread and butter!
Welcome Lurkers! :) Lovely to meet the two who have outed themselves. And, of course, a silly wave at those who prefer to remain anonymous. *waving*
Since we have a wide open space for discussion today, I’ll put out there that Hellie and I are set on putting books in the Golden Heart competition. Do we have any other takers?
Marn? Hal? DRD? Anyone?!
Um, remember where I said last month that I was starting over. Well, I have officially 2500 words to enter in the GH now. I don't think that's enough.
:(
I think I'm probably going to miss out on the GH this year. I won't have anything finished by Nov 15. :( It's been a rough year. I'm trying to give myself a pass. Doesn't make me feel any less productive though.
I did have to approve your comment
Well.
I have suspected its for years. Now I have proof. You don't approve of my comments! ;)
Don't worry, Jules, you have VIP status and don't have to have your comments pre-approved.
Hello Liz. Welcome aboard Maria. And greetings Last Chance.
It is six ole Opry to me too.
Which is my headset's way of saying " it's is so lovely to meet you!"
Six ole Opry to me too, Donna. Six ole Opry to me too,SIN. Six ole Opry to me too, Terriiiiiiii...
*slash*
Again? Well no Six ole Opry to me too, not! What the heck €the overboard with capital to send iDid door feedback and baking style spotters butter spotters at demographers! LOL (got to love headset technology)
No more rum for Julie.
AHOY Wenches!
You know I swing by from the Bandit Lair every chance I get, which is not nearly often enough. 'Tis a very time-consuming task trying to keep some discipline amongst those Banditas. (Aunty snaps her riding crop) I suppose I don't technically count as a lurker, since I post on occasion, but plenty of times I drop by (and NOT entirely to oogle the eye-candy) but don't comment.
As for the GH, one word -- ENTER! You can't final if you don't win and trust me, you never know WHAT might happen if you do final. ;-)
AC
who entered the Rita yet again
You tell 'em Aunty Cindy!
"No more rum for Julie."
Hey! I might headset's got whacked. I mean my headset got wet!
Actually I mean to say "You can't final if you don't ENTER."
We're having a holiday launch party over in the Lair and are all trying something called glogg... Verrra Nice! *HIC*
AC
Hello, AC!! We do love when you stop by and are happy to hear you lurk about now and then. So nice to know we're not just talking to each other. LOL!
And I am shamed to admit, I was LURKING at that party earlier. LOL! But I didn't know about the glogg. I may have to hop over and try that.
I have no illusions of finalling, but after saying for several years that I was going to enter this dang contest, I'm finally backing it up!
Happy to hear that you and Hellie are entering the GH, Bo'sun! Like most contests, Aunty thinks it is a huge crap shoot, but the rewards if you final are well worth it. ;-)
From what I can gather, glogg is some sort of Scandinavian spiced wine. Apparently you can make it without alcohol, but WHY BOTHER?!?!
Oh, and we've outfitted the Cabana Boys in red velvet loincloths with white fur trim just for the holidays. Definitely worth a visit!
AC
A non-alcoholic drink? Ha! Who'd want that? LOL!
You had me at "red velvet loincloths". I'll be over as soon as I get this work stuff done. You'd think they paid me or something.
I saw Bo'sun announce on FB that you were inviting shy people onto the ship today. Well, timid soul that I am, I plucked up my courage, snuck out of my mouse hole and came to say [whisper] hello.
P.S. Can I lick a hottie too?
You can lick anything you'd like, Miranda. (Timid my a...) Well, I wouldn't lick the Undead Monkey. And maybe not the crew members, though you never know.
Maybe instead of giving away gift cards, I should have lined up body shots on the Hotties. I bet that would bring them out!
All right, all right, you've convinced me. I'm out of hiding. I prefer Amazon. And only 44 days until Harry Potter Part 1 is in theaters!!
Now off to write more Harry Potter like I hinted at on Oprah.
Hello, Ms. Rowling. I watched your interview with Oprah and was very impressed. You seem like the kind of writer who would fit right in around here. And I'm sure all the HP preaching some of our pirates is nice to keep your day going.
But, to be fair, giving a $15 gift card to the first BILLIONAIRE writer seems a little...unnecessary.
I'm sure you're quite right. That would be unnecessary. How about if you draw my name you give the prize to my biggest fan on the ship? That seems fair. Now who would that be?
I'm gonna get on Twitter and announce who's conversin' on the blog... Hee, hee.
I can see Hellie having kittens at approving that lurker! ;-)
See! I told you Last Chance was real! You all thought she were vigment a' me imagination. And what a sign! RUMH as her code word!
Though the sis is more a beer girl... Seems ta me her first drunk were leftover rum and cokes at rehearsal dinner... I heard that somewhere...
I entered the Golden Heart once...bottom third. But I rushed it. I do wish they gave actual judging sheets or something!
Am I still eligable to enter? Did I spell eligable right?
Why thank you, Ms. Rowling, I'd love to keep the gift card.
I don't think you can enter since you have a contract. Though I'm not sure if that only applies to the book that is under contract. Nope, I think it's across the board, so you is out of the running.
BUT, you can enter the Rita next year, I believe.
.....I hear there be body shots.... and booty, must be my lucky day. And pirates still up and about. As a westie I usually get to see the postins' after you pirates have all quieted down, or possibly passed out, depending on the rum consumed, so I will say, ahoy, to ya all. I am also related to your barkeep here on the RWR, another sister, and now I see where she polishes up her pirate speak. Must return to the job that pays the bills. Great fun to check in on the occasion that job allows, keep up the writing, as we readers need constant input.
I think a lot of lurkers are shy. I'm quite certain I would be a lurker here if I hadn't known some of the pirates before they set sail on the RWR. I lurk on most of the blogs I visit until a post hits upon a topic that I feel so passionately about that my desire to enter the conversation becomes greater than my desire to preserve my anonymity.
I'm sure if you trumpeted Ms. Rowling's visit, you'd be inundated with new voices here. :)
Why thank you, Ms. Rowling, I’d love to keep the gift card.
WHATEVER, you hussy! You haven't even watched all the MOVIES all the way through, let alone read the book. Clearly it's Marn who should get the card.
Janga - We're very happy when you join in. You always raise the quality of the blog and the level of the conversation. One comment for you and we're classier for the rest of the day.
If me brother jumps aboard, I'm outta here...
LOL! I thought that might light a match under your ass.
Chance - How many siblings you got? LOL!
Welcome, Lucky! You are now in the drawing with your sis and we're happy to know you're lurking about. I'm sure Chance will line you up with that body shot.
Lucy is probably out there, e-mailing the bro to comment...
Lucky...geez. I'm doing good today!
One spelling mistake and the blog dies. Just like that. Or is it all my relatives popping in?
Hmm, I'm not sure what my lurker status is. I have an identity crisis. LOL I've been a lurker and a regular stowaway at times and now I probably lurk again. It's always great to see what you all are up to! :)
You know, I think the Cap'n and Bo'sun are using the criteria that if they have to approve yer comment, yer a lurker. But I could be wrong! How's the homework going, Melissa?
Well, you snagged some interesting lurkers while I was gone! Woo hoo!
I bought three books today, so that was productive. :) (Even if I had to ask B0rders, again, to get a book from the back that should have been on the shelves today.)
See what I said, I think they are all passed out, you pour wit a heavy hand 2nd....
Donna, i was tring to buy a ebook and no-joy,try to save the trees and now must go searching for usedu2
Lucky, I'm about ready to take a nap, only I didn't have any of Chance's rum yet. Guess I'm just reacting to the FUMES of all the drinks she poured!
Wow. What was in those shots? The hotties look all licked out. ;)
Thanks to everyone who came out of lurkdom to say hello today. I'll post the winner tomorrow afternoon so be sure to lurk again and see if it's you!
I'm not sure if I make lurker status. I read your blogs at least a couple of times a week, but I have only posted in the distant past. I am often behind enough at work that I feel like I should be typing charts instead of putting in my 2 cents. Love to read, love to see you telling about new books and love to hear about how you all are doing. Terri, I read and enjoyed your Woman's World story--congrats. Cheers, pirates.
Hello, Amanda!
For today's purposes, we'll include you in the drawing. Thanks for reading the story and I'm glad you liked it. I've already forgotten I've had a little something out there for people to read. :)
Thanks for staying with us and maybe one day when the charts get slow, you can join the discussion. But I get the busy at work stuff. Goodness knows I should get more done during the day.
Ah, but a heavy hand be the norm, here 'pon the Revenge. It be expected! There be little finesse ta pouring from a rum keg...
Some books ya can find in the e-store, some...ya can't!
Hi all, I guess I have been lurking. But with such an invitation I had to say hi. :)
Another smiling face. Or smiley face rather.
Thanks for coming out and letting us know you're there, J. You're in the drawing and we hope you'll chime in some time. The more the merrier!
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