Thursday, September 30, 2010
Follow up on Revision – Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride
Last week I enjoyed a visit to Mouseland, otherwise known as Disneyland. Had a ripping good time, rode Pirates of the Caribbean and had dinner at the restaurant inside the ride, the Blue Bayou. Great fun was had by me and the mister, despite the heat and massive amounts of people.
Disney was all dressed up for Halloween and it’s a lovely sight! It’s been a while since we spent any real time there. California Adventure Resort was new and Downtown Disney had just a few storefronts the last time we visited.
Now, for our high school, we had grad nite at Disney. Oh…back in 1978. Space Mountain was the newest ride at the time. No Grizzly Mountain, no Indiana Jones Adventure…there were still sky chairs that crossed the park high in the air, actually routing through the Matterhorn! (Gone now, probably to stop adolescent punks from spitting down onto people.)
This trip, we took some time to sit back and escape from the heat and really notice what had changed. Or been…revised!
(Bet you didn’t think I’d tie this into writing, did you? HA!)
Disneyland first opened in 1955. A lot has changed since then. The Tomorrowland of the 1950s has changed, drastically. The world has no flying cars, or Monorail system, despite Walt’s hopes and visions. But we have things I’m sure he didn’t imagine. Like the internet, like cell phones, laptops, etc.
I’ve read old science fiction and though most of those stories are still fun, the technology is woefully out of date. A good reason to revise. Keep track of technology, make sure it’s appropriate for your story.
(Unless you’re me and it’s all about mucking all of those things up and making a smorgasbord out of things. Cafeteria writer, that’s me!)
Now, we also noticed how Disney updates things, other than the obvious. Some of this stuff is done well and with good reason. The Undersea Adventures of Captain Nemo went through a phase as Ariel’s something or another, now it’s all about Finding Nemo. Well, I get it. Sorta miss the giant squid and all, but I get it.
The Swiss Family Tree House is now Tarzan’s Treehouse. Yeah, I get it. Bear Country Jamboree is now Winnie the Pooh’s Adventures. (They really did need something Pooh-ish so I can dig this.) Tom Sawyer Island is now the Pirate Lair on Tom Sawyer Island. (You can never go wrong with pirates.)
Which leaves me with Pirates of the Caribbean and its addition of a plot involving the search for Captain Sparrow and the warnings of Davy Jones…all good fun! (Glad they left out the monkey.)
Rides that haven’t faired so well in revision? Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. Okay, I’m glad it’s still there. While visiting Orlando’s Disneyworld, I was dismayed to see they had removed said ride. (They also tore down their Matterhorn…which means they deserve excommunication from the Church of Disney. I mean, come on! No Matterhorn? They needed another store selling t-shirts and mouse-ears?)
What did they do to Mr. Toad? They…sigh…they made it less scary. I mean it was never meant to terrify. It’s about a toad and his fascination with cars and what a terrible driver he is. (Though he is terribly charming…and quite bashful!)
Anyway, at one point, he loses control of his car…your car…and crashes into a warehouse full of explosives. And the obstacles fly out of the way of your car and there were bright, bright, super bright flashes of color and loud booms…and…now there aren’t. All the fluorescent colors are gone, no more ‘batman’ like effects. Some minor booms, some ho-hum colors. NO strobes!
Did someone have a fit on the ride? I mean, what the heck happened? This was a revision that I feel failed. They changed it, made it tame. You could say they dumbed it down. Very disappointed.
The dangers of revising to avoid offense and lawsuits (maybe some kid did have a fit… Those lights were bright!) But they took away what made it so fun and surprising. Even when Toad is sentenced and does a few seconds in hell, they removed the hot wet air and devilish imps that torment the cars… (I hate PC stuff.)
Next door is Peter Pan’s Flight. Nice revisions! They redid the stars you fly through and they are excellent. Applause for this.
What needs revision? The Matterhorn. Those bobsleds are scary. And not for the right reasons! I mean, a chiropractor could set up shop at the bottom of the ride and make a fortune with onsite adjustments. This ride needs some major technological improvements.
So, what did I learn about revisions? Starting from scratch is a sad, sad, sad thing to do. I mean, they could have dumped the submarines and put in a new shopping area. But they didn’t! They updated according to their code of keeping Disney fresh. You, the writer, had an idea…a couple, a location, a time period…keep something when you decide major remodeling…errrr…revision has to be done.
Don’t revise the fire out of things. Mr. Toad has lost some real flash, and though the very young may be happier, those of us with good memories (for a ride, what irony!) are saddened by the loss. Take chances, be willing to lose some readers to gain new ones. Keep the flash!
Invest in what needs to be changed so you don’t give your reader whiplash. Smooth out POV difficulties. Maybe five secondary plots is too many…
Side notes. Keep the marketing out of the actual ride…errr…book. Put it on the side, preferable somewhere nearby for when the reader wants to pick up something to remember the adventure with.
I know Marn covered the agony of revision last Friday, while I was flirting with Mr. Toad and winking at Jack…both of them. Sparrow and Skellington. And my captain, Captain Stephen…he makes a great pirate, don’t he!? And there I am, a blond! HA!
And some months ago, Hellie discussed the theme park that would be built around your story. But I do need a theme…How about…
Today? Favorite Disney memory? At the park or at the movies? And Stitch is going to take on the monkey again, rematch…and beat his desiccated little behind all over again!
Disney was all dressed up for Halloween and it’s a lovely sight! It’s been a while since we spent any real time there. California Adventure Resort was new and Downtown Disney had just a few storefronts the last time we visited.
Now, for our high school, we had grad nite at Disney. Oh…back in 1978. Space Mountain was the newest ride at the time. No Grizzly Mountain, no Indiana Jones Adventure…there were still sky chairs that crossed the park high in the air, actually routing through the Matterhorn! (Gone now, probably to stop adolescent punks from spitting down onto people.)
This trip, we took some time to sit back and escape from the heat and really notice what had changed. Or been…revised!
(Bet you didn’t think I’d tie this into writing, did you? HA!)
Disneyland first opened in 1955. A lot has changed since then. The Tomorrowland of the 1950s has changed, drastically. The world has no flying cars, or Monorail system, despite Walt’s hopes and visions. But we have things I’m sure he didn’t imagine. Like the internet, like cell phones, laptops, etc.
I’ve read old science fiction and though most of those stories are still fun, the technology is woefully out of date. A good reason to revise. Keep track of technology, make sure it’s appropriate for your story.
(Unless you’re me and it’s all about mucking all of those things up and making a smorgasbord out of things. Cafeteria writer, that’s me!)
Now, we also noticed how Disney updates things, other than the obvious. Some of this stuff is done well and with good reason. The Undersea Adventures of Captain Nemo went through a phase as Ariel’s something or another, now it’s all about Finding Nemo. Well, I get it. Sorta miss the giant squid and all, but I get it.
The Swiss Family Tree House is now Tarzan’s Treehouse. Yeah, I get it. Bear Country Jamboree is now Winnie the Pooh’s Adventures. (They really did need something Pooh-ish so I can dig this.) Tom Sawyer Island is now the Pirate Lair on Tom Sawyer Island. (You can never go wrong with pirates.)
Which leaves me with Pirates of the Caribbean and its addition of a plot involving the search for Captain Sparrow and the warnings of Davy Jones…all good fun! (Glad they left out the monkey.)
Rides that haven’t faired so well in revision? Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. Okay, I’m glad it’s still there. While visiting Orlando’s Disneyworld, I was dismayed to see they had removed said ride. (They also tore down their Matterhorn…which means they deserve excommunication from the Church of Disney. I mean, come on! No Matterhorn? They needed another store selling t-shirts and mouse-ears?)
What did they do to Mr. Toad? They…sigh…they made it less scary. I mean it was never meant to terrify. It’s about a toad and his fascination with cars and what a terrible driver he is. (Though he is terribly charming…and quite bashful!)
Anyway, at one point, he loses control of his car…your car…and crashes into a warehouse full of explosives. And the obstacles fly out of the way of your car and there were bright, bright, super bright flashes of color and loud booms…and…now there aren’t. All the fluorescent colors are gone, no more ‘batman’ like effects. Some minor booms, some ho-hum colors. NO strobes!
Did someone have a fit on the ride? I mean, what the heck happened? This was a revision that I feel failed. They changed it, made it tame. You could say they dumbed it down. Very disappointed.
The dangers of revising to avoid offense and lawsuits (maybe some kid did have a fit… Those lights were bright!) But they took away what made it so fun and surprising. Even when Toad is sentenced and does a few seconds in hell, they removed the hot wet air and devilish imps that torment the cars… (I hate PC stuff.)
Next door is Peter Pan’s Flight. Nice revisions! They redid the stars you fly through and they are excellent. Applause for this.
What needs revision? The Matterhorn. Those bobsleds are scary. And not for the right reasons! I mean, a chiropractor could set up shop at the bottom of the ride and make a fortune with onsite adjustments. This ride needs some major technological improvements.
So, what did I learn about revisions? Starting from scratch is a sad, sad, sad thing to do. I mean, they could have dumped the submarines and put in a new shopping area. But they didn’t! They updated according to their code of keeping Disney fresh. You, the writer, had an idea…a couple, a location, a time period…keep something when you decide major remodeling…errrr…revision has to be done.
Don’t revise the fire out of things. Mr. Toad has lost some real flash, and though the very young may be happier, those of us with good memories (for a ride, what irony!) are saddened by the loss. Take chances, be willing to lose some readers to gain new ones. Keep the flash!
Invest in what needs to be changed so you don’t give your reader whiplash. Smooth out POV difficulties. Maybe five secondary plots is too many…
Side notes. Keep the marketing out of the actual ride…errr…book. Put it on the side, preferable somewhere nearby for when the reader wants to pick up something to remember the adventure with.
I know Marn covered the agony of revision last Friday, while I was flirting with Mr. Toad and winking at Jack…both of them. Sparrow and Skellington. And my captain, Captain Stephen…he makes a great pirate, don’t he!? And there I am, a blond! HA!
And some months ago, Hellie discussed the theme park that would be built around your story. But I do need a theme…How about…
Today? Favorite Disney memory? At the park or at the movies? And Stitch is going to take on the monkey again, rematch…and beat his desiccated little behind all over again!
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45 comments:
Ah, I was afraid you were going to say they had revamped the Peter Pan ride and I was going to cry. LOL I was always enthralled with that opening sequence with the stars and their bedroom. :)
And I will have to say I was never a fan of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride -- I would go on it, but usually because the lines were too long elsewhere. LOL But I can completely understand not wanting something you love to change.
I miss going to Disneyland. It used to be an easier trek than it is now. Pirates of the Caribbean used to be a big fave, partly because it was nice and cool in there -- LOL -- and I couldn't imagine they could make a MOVIE out of it, until they did!
We just watched Lilo & Stitch again two nights ago and I realized I should have named my cat Stitch. He IS that destructive little alien.
As you know, this summer was my first experience at Disney World and though I enjoyed it, I think I'll have a much better time going back when a) it's not for a conference and b) when it's not hotter than the surface of the sun. Kiddo and I will go in the dead of winter, and we will have lots of fun I'm sure.
Since I'm an avid over-reviser, I am always in danger of doing the Mr. Toad thing on my MS. But I'm getting better.
Donna, Oh, they did a wonderful job on Peter Pan! They increased the stars above London and really made sure all the light is shut out, so they really sparkly and shine!
With Pirates, it's hard to believe they designed a movie based on the ride, but really, it's more a pirate movie with elements of the ride sprinkled here and there!
Terri - Oh, most definately better to be there when it isn't a furnace! And next year, in Anaheim...I mean the year after next, I think you'll find it easier to get around Disneyland than it was Disneyworld. Even in July, it won't be that hot, for one thing! And Disneyland has better signposts, less commercialism...
Bumbles should a' been Stitch, eh? ;-)
Oh, and Bos'sun - You really don't want to Mr. Toad your revisions... Sometimes, you just put the the computer down and walk away for awhile. Anything to keep from losing the flash!
Yeah, I've got that walking away thing down pretty good. LOL! Not a problem!
Putting my ass back in the chair, that's where I'm struggling. And I'll continue to struggle until that chair is in the new house.
Nope, you want to take the chair over to the new house with good vibe mojo all over it. So...write another WW story or something! Then you transfer all the goody juicy success energy to the new house...
But you should replace your broom. Never take the old dirt to a new house.
I have never been to either Disney theme park, but my sister is obsessed with getting the fanily to HP World this year and we'll probably go to Disney World too.
I saw an interesting poll a while back that asked which Disney movie people related to most. Peter Pan and The Lion King were the top picks. I wonder if this means that many people never want to grow up and fear a wicked uncle is out to desroy them.
Janga, that would be fascinating topic to dive into! Peter Pan? Well, in this society, no one wants to grow up. And let's face, the ability to fly would be the ultimate!
The Lion King? That has me a bit puzzled... I think it's the Hakuna Matata referenece...
Did I spell that right?
Well, you know Hellion adored HP world, so I'm sure you'll have a great time. Just try to make it when the humidity isn't going to drop you like a zebra surrounded by lions!
P.S. This is a great blog; and I'm wildly impressed how you tied this to writing! *LOL*
I've never been to Disneyland or Disney World. (I did drive past it in California, but that was it.)
I have two good movie memories of Disney though. When I was four, Sleeping Beauty came back out to the theaters (20th anniversary maybe?) and my sister took me to see it. I loved every minute. I remember vividly of the prince slaying Maleficent the dragon. Sleeping Beauty has been my favorite disney movie for this reason.
Then in 1991, Beauty and the Beast came to theaters and I remember my brother taking me to the movies to see it. (We saw it together.) I was completely enchanted by the movie. The next year, they had the video out and the stuffed animals and the whole bit, and because I was so caught up in the movie, my sister and brother bought me the movie, the animal, and I think something else...it was a really big deal because as you know I usually get rather crappy stuff for Christmas. But I remember being VERY surprised and VERY happy that Christmas. I hit the jackpot. Eldon thought it was stupid to buy a senior in high school a stuffed Beast doll, but I adored him. I still have him, of course.
And I prefer Beast as the beast and not as the prince.
Why, thank you Cap'n! I recently watched a Food Network Challenge on Beauty and the Beast cakes... You might want to look for it.
I remember what a huge deal they made about that movie when it came out, because the heroine wasn't a princess and she was a bookish brunette! And now they have heroines of every type!
They do have a Sleeping Beauty ride and of course, her castle at Disneyland. I must admit, the castle in Disneyworld is more impressive, but! You can't walk through it as you can in Anaheim.
And I think both parks have a B&tB musical show... We'll have to find a beast charm for you when we're in Disneland come 2012 for the RWA...or you could come...!
Chance - What a good reminder that revisions are like vitamins: in the right amount they are very good, but too much can kill.
My fav Disney memory. My family took a trip to Disney World almost 10 years ago. All five of us. We realized some interesting stuff. First, my family does not tolerate hunger well. Especially hunger mixed with heat. Second, being drunk as a family is pretty fun. We went to Pleasure Island together, the first time we were all over 21 (my sister--the youngest--had just turned the month before). Talk about laughter. Last, there's a bakery in the German section of Epcot that has these Germon Chocolate Chip cookies. My father and I almost came to blows over those cookies.
I went back to Disney (my sister and mom both live in FL now) when I was pregnant. I got that same cookie at Epcot. There was only one left and I nearly fought an old lady with bifocals over it. Luckily, she backed down at the last second. She must have realized the futility of arguing with a pregnant woman over a cookie. And I don't know if it was the hormones or the fact that my father had been gone for only a year then, but I cried eating that cookie.
Yes, definitely see HP land when it's not surface of the sun hot. The Forbidden Journey ride is very magical. I would like to see Disney World, but I know you'd need a week to tramp around sufficiently.
The Lion King. Hmm. That's not the one I'd associate my life with. *LOL* I'm more a Beauty and the Beast girl.
But I think the friendship in The Lion King is where people identify more with it. Oh, and monkey who hits you with the stick and says, The past is behind you. *LOL* I mean, you can't deny that's true.
It is funny, isn't it? How the little lines in movis will totally enchant. I love the line in Kung Fu Panda about the future being a present...or something like that... Totally enchanted me!
When Jack speaks about the Black Pearl being more than a ship, but being all about freedom... These are the lines that stick with a viewer and becomes a philosophy.
That...and Pirate!
Oh, Marn! I get the crying bit. I swear, every time I ride the Jungle Ride and cackle and groan at the bad puns, I think of my Dad. And how he loved that ride and all those puns.
Soarin' Over California does the same thing to me, only because Dad never got to ride that and he would have loved it. Just loved it...
And nope, I wouldn't argue over a cookie with a pregnant woman either!
Disneyland doesn't hav Epcot, but it does have more shade and easier to follow directions...and they serve alcohol on the California Adventure side or in Downtown Disney. And Anaheim doesn't have the killer heat...geez! Thought I'd melt in Florida!
Hee, hee. I remember the first vacation I took with my family as adults... A cruise in the Caribbean courtesy of my folks. We had a great time! Nice to know we could all manage that without fighting!
Terrio - Sorry we missed the brownies in the German section of Epcot. But we did have nice fish and chips, right? And I had a killer drink at the Rose & Crown...
I still can't believe you sucked that drink throug a straw and weren't even tipsy. We sweat it all out! I do wish we'd gotten to more "countries" in Epcot, but damn it was just too damn hot.
Marn - That is a wonderful story. All of it. The women in my family started taking annual trips a few years ago and after three, I told them never again. LOL! Other than them coming to visit me, we've never actually taken an all family vacation together. It's called being too po. (That's right, we can't even afford the other two letters in that word.)
I keep telling my sister to think about Disneyland with her son and his family. Sure, she's not up for traipsing all over it. But she can rent a scooter and then they get to the front of all the lines! And she can see her grandkids get all princessed up...
After seeing Stephanie and Mary's pics from Epcot, I wish we'd done more. But the furnace...it just wasn't too be!
We have 'Euro Disney' near Paris I believe, but I haven't been. My grand daughter has though and tried to explain some weird ride that sounded like the 'scenic railway' in my old fashioned speak!
I think Kenneth Grahame must be turning in his grave at the treatment of his illustrious toad from 'The Wind in the Willows'! You just can't take toad out of context. You must have ratty and mole and the riverbankers as well as the wild wooders to be realistic.
A couple of years ago I saw the Christmas play 'Toad of Toad Hall' or was it 'When the toad came home', based on Grahame's classic and my favorite scene was when ratty,mole and badger saved the toad from the wildwooders who had taken over the Hall, holding Toad to ransom.
We'll take off our braces and take off our coats
And wallop the Weasels and Ferrets and Stoats.
When night comes on and the Bats are batting,
And Rabbits back in their holes are chatting,
And Weasel's wearing his opera hatting,
A-wallopping we will go ..
A-wallopping we will go.
We'll take off our collars and take off our coats
And learn the Weasels and Ferrets and Stoats.......................
All the kids, including me, roared encouragement!
I think that you have to recognize the child within as well as the inner critic. The fun and laughter come from the inner child and you ignore at your peril *grin*
Hey pirates, I had to do my errands this morning instead of this afternoon as originally planned. It looks like some rainstorm is coming in this p.m. and it wants to wipe us off the face of the earth. LOL
I've been to Disneyland a few times in the winter months and was dismayed to discover that's when they do the maintenance on the big rides -- it makes sense, because they can't do it in the summer. BUT it was a major inconvenience to ME. LOL
I've always been enchanted by Disney things -- it's what I grew up with, and when I was a kid watching the TV show, I LOVED seeing the castle and the fireworks -- that was magical and romantic to my geeky little self. LOL When I finally got to see it all, I was an adult, but I was completely thrilled.
Q - Yes, Disney takes things out of context...but it's a way to introduce Americans to the books... And the others are in the ride, just not major players...
I promise you, dear Q...I will read "Wind in the Willows" before the week is out. I found it in e-form and downloaded it to my Sony!
And from the sounds of it, daughter was talking about the railroad that circles the park, cuts down on the walking and throws in some interesting things along the way. Including the primeval world!
Donnaroo - I was so pooped, I wanted to opt out on the Saturday night fireworks show. But the DH convinced me to stay and it was spectacular!
I know California Adventure had way too many things shut down for refurbishment... Disneyland? Not a one! Though the Matterhorn was down for several hours for some malfunction. As I said, that ride needs revision!
It's a good thing kiddo hates roller coasters. Big rides being closed in February will not affect us at all.
Q - Chance warned me you would know this Toad character and all his little friends and so I looked it up. Not sure I'd read it, but this book does sound like a grand adventure.
Donna - I'll send you my little water wings. You're going to need them.
I think my roller coaster days are over. I rode the Matterhorn for old times sake and after that neck snapping...decided I'd stick with the simpler rides!
Donna - Don't drive through deep water! I already scolded the Bo'sun for doing so...
No worries, Chance -- the water hasn't gotten a chance to get deep yet, although there were big puddles already on the roads. And a semi truck had an accident on the road home - not sure if it hit the overpass or if something fell on it. I guess I could make up my own story. LOL (When I should be working on revisions instead!)
*takes water wings from Terri and puts them inside of bra*
I think I like that. :)
Well, me girls often help me float! ;-)
I forgot to add -- Q, I love the "a-wallopping we will go". I am definitely adding that to my vocabulary. LOL
It's kind of the Fight Club version of "wassailing", right? :)
LOL! ...a-wallooping we will go...
First rule of wallopping, no one talks about wallopping.
*sizes up Donna's latest revisions*
That's one way to go...
That's a-wallopping Bo'sun.
Wonder what a-wallooping is? ;-)
Sounds like a ruddy fine drink! And in honor a' Q, it's done with Scotch!
If he ever forgives Disney for manglin' wit' Toad and returns to visit us...
And I'm off to a-walkoping the dog... Be back in a bit!
I'm back! The a-commentin' can commence!
LOL!
I think the a-walkoping left us all speechless.
Yay! I'm leaving work early! And the rain has stopped. Or rather, moved on to soak Donna. :)
Actually it seems like the rain has calmed down a bit. Maybe it wants to head back down your direction, Terri. :)
Enjoy your early release! (Wait. You know what I mean! Filthy pirates. LOL)
I'm off to work on revisions (even tho I want to take a nap).
I'm thinking I'll add an 'a' to all my active verbs...or whatever it is called when you add the 'ing' stuff...
*waiting for Hel to throw something at me..
So you're going to be:
a-waiting
a-laughing
a-nnoying (Hellie, not me! LOL)
Sadly, Donna, the rain is coming back on Monday. But it rained all this week from Sunday through this morning and it didn't get back until more than three days in. Settle in with a paddle, it's going to get worse.
Now, I'm a-leaving...
Sigh. We've already had a metric crapload of rain this week too. I remember one day of sunshine.
*sniff*
It's great weather for writing. Okay, this time I'm seriously really for real going to work on revisions.
I mean it. No joke.
Uh huh. Yer a-revisin'!
I be a-dmirin' me new cover and still trying to a-read my daily newspaper...
And now I be a-bandonin' Starbucks and taking the dog a-walkoping again, then I may try a-eatin' lunch...
Sadly, in this area of the US, we already put "a" in front of "ing" verbs (which is a "progressive verb"). ING words used as nouns are gerunds. And that's your grammar bite for the day.
I'm a-wishing it was 5 pm so I could go home.
You know what I'm doing?
Yup. I'm a-voiding. LOL
Wonder what we do in this part a' the country? Add 'dude' to the end of every sentence?
Wonder what we do in this part a' the country, dude?
Dude is an entire sentence in one word. It can convey so much with so little effort.
Your friend finds some awesome shoes.
Duuuude.
Your friend flirts with your boyfriend.
Dude!
Your friend sells a book.
DUDE!!!
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