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Sunday, July 18, 2010
I've Got Confidence in Me!--Not Really
I love a great Mardi Gras party, and when it comes to Mardi Gras, aren’t all the parties great? Exactly. Of course, being a closet exhibitionist, I’m rather fond of trying to win beads. I’m not sure why this engages me so, but if someone is handing out beads, I’m trying to lift my shirt over my head to get free beads. I remember once at the local saloon, I was three sheets to the wind on tequila, and when one guy offered me beads, I wrestled with my cute little top in order to do the proper exchange. I basically only managed to nearly strangle myself, but I was quite enthusiastic. I got the beads anyway.
Some years later, while attending a local party, the bead exchange began in full force, and again, after having kicked back some rum, I began earning beads. But not with my usual level of gusto. I had a poor attitude: boobs were boobs, and where boobs were concerned, the biggest ones were the ones requesting I flash them before I get beads. Never mind the fact I was in a room with a bunch of other people who also had boobs, and most of them had flashier ones. Perkier or more famous ones, or best of all, boobs none of the other people had ever seen. You’ll recall, I’m old hat at this, and mine had been around. I was also single and no one interested in seeing mine on a regular basis, so why would anyone else want to look at them? I was sick of them.
But I really wanted beads.
So I got beads. However, it was while flashing two of the guys I learned a very valuable lesson. The guys laughed at me. (Makes you want to run out and try to get beads with that sort of response, right?) Clearly I was annoyed by this response, but not surprised, but when the guys got their breath, they explained.
“It’s not your breasts,” one reassured. “No, your boobs are great,” the other hastened to add. Whatever. “It’s that you look like you’re doing chores when you’re showing them to us.” “You look seriously bored.”
I couldn’t deny it. I was seriously bored flashing the same things over and over and getting no favorable response.
“What you don’t understand is that there’s no such thing as a bad boob. Boobs are awesome. There is something to admire about them all. They’re like butterflies. Every one is unique.” He grinned at this explanation. You could tell he thought he was quite the poet with this. “But if you look bored showing them, that sorta takes the fun out of us looking.”
Now I share this with you not because I want to invite anyone over for Mardi Gras. I tell you because we’ve all been with our boobs a long time and we take them for granted and can’t see that they’re magnificent. We’re too close to them. We look in the mirror and we focus on the flaws. They’re sagging; they’re too big or too small; nipples too—whatever. Seriously we tend to obsess about the tiniest details that don’t matter. Instead we try to dress them up with a low-cut shirt or a cute bra. We spend lots of money on the perfect underwire to hold them up. We envy those women who are able to prance around in a tube top and have no self-consciousness at all—they look great without trying.
Stop with the envy. Stop with the flashy props. Your boobs are great just the way they are. Really. We just need an attitude adjustment. Men like boobs and are always on the lookout to admire the next great pair, which is of course yours.
Now, obviously, I didn’t write a blog about boobs for boobs’ sake. I’m referring, of course, to your novel. The novel you’re so close to that you can’t see the charm in the rakish hero or the heroine with a heart of gold. You’ve considered every bell and whistle, perhaps even a werewolf, just to compete with all those falsies out there, and I’m begging you: Don’t.
I’ll grant you that your story might need better motivation, a tighter plot, or maybe even a more likable hero. But it won’t need an alien baby or a werewolf or any other trendy, gimmicky device unless that was the story you were dying to tell in the first place. What you need is some pride in ownership. You have the boobs, my friends, and I assure you that guys are dying to have a looksie, but they’ll admire them a lot more, if you also admire your own boobs and are willing to show them off. If you present your story in the same sheepish, I’m-so-sorry-to-waste-your-time way as I was flashing those guys at Mardi Gras, yes, you’re very much likely to get a “Sorry, but your story isn’t for us.”
Show some enthusiasm, girls. As was stated in Dirty Dancing, “God wouldn’t have given you maracas if he didn’t want you to shake them!” So the next time you’re sharing, shake ‘em, shake ‘em joyously. Those agents and editors are like those guys at Mardi Gras parties—they love stories, all stories and all types, but they’re far more likely to love your story if you love it.
So, at Mardi Gras, are you as eager to collect beads as I am? Are you like me and tend to talk about your story in a “you’re-being-kind-but-it’s-not-that-interesting” sort of way, even in your query letters? Do you have any tips for being confident?
Some years later, while attending a local party, the bead exchange began in full force, and again, after having kicked back some rum, I began earning beads. But not with my usual level of gusto. I had a poor attitude: boobs were boobs, and where boobs were concerned, the biggest ones were the ones requesting I flash them before I get beads. Never mind the fact I was in a room with a bunch of other people who also had boobs, and most of them had flashier ones. Perkier or more famous ones, or best of all, boobs none of the other people had ever seen. You’ll recall, I’m old hat at this, and mine had been around. I was also single and no one interested in seeing mine on a regular basis, so why would anyone else want to look at them? I was sick of them.
But I really wanted beads.
So I got beads. However, it was while flashing two of the guys I learned a very valuable lesson. The guys laughed at me. (Makes you want to run out and try to get beads with that sort of response, right?) Clearly I was annoyed by this response, but not surprised, but when the guys got their breath, they explained.
“It’s not your breasts,” one reassured. “No, your boobs are great,” the other hastened to add. Whatever. “It’s that you look like you’re doing chores when you’re showing them to us.” “You look seriously bored.”
I couldn’t deny it. I was seriously bored flashing the same things over and over and getting no favorable response.
“What you don’t understand is that there’s no such thing as a bad boob. Boobs are awesome. There is something to admire about them all. They’re like butterflies. Every one is unique.” He grinned at this explanation. You could tell he thought he was quite the poet with this. “But if you look bored showing them, that sorta takes the fun out of us looking.”
Now I share this with you not because I want to invite anyone over for Mardi Gras. I tell you because we’ve all been with our boobs a long time and we take them for granted and can’t see that they’re magnificent. We’re too close to them. We look in the mirror and we focus on the flaws. They’re sagging; they’re too big or too small; nipples too—whatever. Seriously we tend to obsess about the tiniest details that don’t matter. Instead we try to dress them up with a low-cut shirt or a cute bra. We spend lots of money on the perfect underwire to hold them up. We envy those women who are able to prance around in a tube top and have no self-consciousness at all—they look great without trying.
Stop with the envy. Stop with the flashy props. Your boobs are great just the way they are. Really. We just need an attitude adjustment. Men like boobs and are always on the lookout to admire the next great pair, which is of course yours.
Now, obviously, I didn’t write a blog about boobs for boobs’ sake. I’m referring, of course, to your novel. The novel you’re so close to that you can’t see the charm in the rakish hero or the heroine with a heart of gold. You’ve considered every bell and whistle, perhaps even a werewolf, just to compete with all those falsies out there, and I’m begging you: Don’t.
I’ll grant you that your story might need better motivation, a tighter plot, or maybe even a more likable hero. But it won’t need an alien baby or a werewolf or any other trendy, gimmicky device unless that was the story you were dying to tell in the first place. What you need is some pride in ownership. You have the boobs, my friends, and I assure you that guys are dying to have a looksie, but they’ll admire them a lot more, if you also admire your own boobs and are willing to show them off. If you present your story in the same sheepish, I’m-so-sorry-to-waste-your-time way as I was flashing those guys at Mardi Gras, yes, you’re very much likely to get a “Sorry, but your story isn’t for us.”
Show some enthusiasm, girls. As was stated in Dirty Dancing, “God wouldn’t have given you maracas if he didn’t want you to shake them!” So the next time you’re sharing, shake ‘em, shake ‘em joyously. Those agents and editors are like those guys at Mardi Gras parties—they love stories, all stories and all types, but they’re far more likely to love your story if you love it.
So, at Mardi Gras, are you as eager to collect beads as I am? Are you like me and tend to talk about your story in a “you’re-being-kind-but-it’s-not-that-interesting” sort of way, even in your query letters? Do you have any tips for being confident?
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99 comments:
What about alien werewolves?
;-)
Gods, beads. Never been to a mardi gras celebration and never flashed the girls at anyone.
My life is so boring.
I do my damnest to just radiate confidence when I pitch in person, smile a lot, look agents/editors in the eyes, place something on the table that ties in with who I am and what am selling. I have a great pirate purse that I use. Buttons, you all know about me and the buttons...
With the query letters, hey, it's all about choosing the right words that spell out the energy since I can't sell with the fantabulosity of me in person.
If all else fails, I'd go for alien werewolves. They're different! :-)
Fascinating.
I didn't realize it was about writing until you pointed it out, and at that stage I was past caring. After an introduction like that, I would want to buy anything on offer.
Afraid I have no tips for being confident. Confidence comes with success and as you say, success often comes with confidence. Perhaps you could try wearing beads.
I have noticed that brilliant young scientists often come across as hesitant, and lacking in confidence when they give a first seminar. After a successful research paper though, they are transformed and become ready to take on the world.
Helli, you are back to your brilliant best! :D
This is absolutely brilliant, Hellion. I love it.
I think confidence is an amazing tool, and I wish it was something we could consume like vitamins, so we could have a daily supply. Because it is such an elusive element. When we need it the most is when it is the most scarce!
I think confidence requires faith, in ourselves and our. . .well, BOOBS. LOL Where we end up derailing ourselves is comparing our BOOBS with someone else's, rather than highlighting what makes ours uniquely special. :)
Okay, it's highly likely I am babbling here, so I will retreat to finish these revisions. (It seems this is a brain-eating manuscript -- the closer I get to finishing it, the fewer functioning brain cells I have. LOL) The revisions are going out today, no matter what!
So I'll be back later. *flashes boobs* Hey, that was fun! *flashes boobs again* Yeah, I can see I'm gonna be doing that a lot today. Hope you have plenty of beads!
I don't know anything about the confidence thing either. All I can suggest is getting past the point of caring. At least about boobs.
Frankly, I always liked my boobs, but I'm not sure if it's because I actually like them or because I know I'd never have any surgery or whatever to change them. Therefore, I've accepted them.
I wonder if my books get like that too. In my first two books, I've finished, revised. Then when they didn't sell, I realized I appreciated them for what they were--what they'd taught me--and that I wasn't willing to go back and hack over them and do major surgery on them.
A new perspective.
I used to love Mardi Gras. I've become more modest with my boobs since marriage, though. My DH, strangely enough, doesn't like the idea of everyone knowing what his wife's boobs look like. Huh, right?
And as far as talking about my story in a ho hum kind of way... I think I've just got to the point with this book where the story feels ordinary to me, because I know it so well. It's not that it is ordinary (I hope) but that it feels like it because I'm so close to it.
We're in the same camp, Chance, I've never flashed the girls either. Mostly because I could never gracefully or quickly lift them back into the bra. And flashing should be graceful and quick, IMO. But I love my girls. I've put them through a lot, and we share the scars to prove it. But when they are all up and looking pretty, they are a sight to behold.
I realize not everything is about me, but I'm going to have to stop emailing you and Chance.
After a tough weekend, filled with gnashing of teeth and plenty of frustration tears, I am feeling more confident about my book. Thanks to the input from three awesome writers and one eleven year old who knows what she likes, I have a workable pitch. Now, if I never have to write a pitch again, it will be too soon. LOL!
Chance was trying to perk me up yesterday telling me to sell it in my delivery. As I told her, I spent eight years making everything from cars to overalls to insurance sound interesting. The delivery? I got it. ;)
In your case, 2nd, an alien werewolf would be just fine. Quite the norm for you. I was talking about the rest of us.
I'm not suggesting we shouldn't be writing a sellable, marketable work--but I think deliberately looking for the trends and writing to it, when you loathe secret babies, sheik secretaries, and arrogant CEO billionaires, shows in your writing. You don't want your writing to come across that you don't respect or like what you're writing about...and I think some new writers do that when they're much more desperate to be published than to craft great writing. (I could be wrong.)
Note to self: Take 2nd with you when you pitch.
*laughing* Poor Q. Yeah, I was pretty sure I was going to have to have to spell out the analogy on this one because it was going to be a leap to go from naked boobs to books. But I'm glad you enjoyed the show!
Confidence is really a chicken and egg thing, isn't it?
And thank you, Q. :)
Donna, isn't flashing addictive? A couple glasses of jungle juice and invariably this question arrives: "But why did Hellion think she had to take off all her clothes to go pee?" (It's a good thing I've scaled back considerably on the partying.)
Oooh, the Zombie Manuscript. The point of writing when the book is dead-dead-dead, but it's Zombie dead so it wants to eat your brains! How do you recover from that to write the next novel?
Exactly. We should stop comparing our boobs to someone else's! Or our books. Or basically anything: husbands, cars, wardrobes, children, whatever. It's not healthy. Focus on the good.
Hm, I'd like my boobs more if it didn't take an industrial strength bra to keep them up where they belong. Let alone whip them out on Mardi Gras on a bar, sht-faced drunk, squealing like a banshee and dancing around like a leprechaun.
Oh, that sort of sounds like that's happened to me before.
I never talk. It's not a rule, otherwise I'd have to break it. But I just don't talk about it. I'll talk about it when I get the 40 mil JE isn't going to get now.
"A couple glasses of jungle juice and invariably this question arrives: “But why did Hellion think she had to take off all her clothes to go pee?” (It’s a good thing I’ve scaled back considerably on the partying.)
Jungle Juice is the fcking devil. Anything with a name that is obscure is bad news. Buffalo Piss. Paint Can. Jungle Juice. Purple Passion.. It's ALL bad.
Marn, husbands ARE strange about strangers seeing their wives' tatas. What's that about? They're more than happy to show off their cars or 50 in screen TV.
Exactly--I think we all get to the point that the story feels ordinary. Even the ones about alien werewolves. And I think that can be a problem. I mean, we're supposed to have the high concept--this is Mr. & Mrs. Smith meets Oh God, but once you start thinking of your books like that, you can be like, "Eh, it's like so many books out there." Who wants to read that? Now I'm the first to say there are no original ideas because they're no original ideas--but there are original voices and our original take on telling that story.
Bo'sun, it's not all about you. You can still email me. Seriously, I'm the WORST pitch woman on the planet. Couldn't sell water to a guy with his house on fire bad. "I have water, but everyone has water. It's okay. Probably as good as her water over there. Oh, look, hers is in a hose. Mine is in a cup."
Doesn't help that everywhere I turn, it seems some other author has published a book similar to mine. And I'm not writing Regency here, where that phenomenon is much more likely to occur.
Sin, JE doesn't deserve another 40 mill.
*flashes boobs*
Sin, imagine Jungle Juice doctored by your ex-boyfriend with Mad Dog 20/20. I'm surprised I lived.
Donna, I'm not sure I recommend flashing your boobs at a pitch UNLESS the agent/editor is really hot. Then maybe it couldn't hurt. *LOL*
It's been forever since I had Jungle Juice, but I loved it. Though it's not a good idea to sit on the floor sucking on the fruit that has been fermenting in it for a couple days. I had to be assisted back to my feet again. LOL!
Back when we made it, we used a lot of grain alcohol. Not sure you can still get that in PA. Marn, do you know?
Confidence also comes with being comfortable with yourself. If you’re not comfortable with who you are … as a person … as a writer … then it is impossible for any one else to be comfortable with you. Since they will sense your unease , and it will make them uneasy. Of course their uneasiness just makes you more uncomfortable. And therefore less confident.
Note to self: Get Jungle Juice and feed to DRD.
Hellion, I was just cooling myself off. LOL
And I'm intrigued with all of these Jungle Juice war stories. I'm not sure I've ever had it. Note to self: don't ever have Jungle Juice. LOL
Sin, imagine Jungle Juice doctored by your ex-boyfriend with Mad Dog 20/20. I’m surprised I lived.
I'm surprised you let HIM live.
Donna, you have to try some. It's great stuff. Just don't plan on doing anything strenuous the next day. Like move.
It's basically Hawaiian Punch doctored up with three or four hard liqours. Entire bottles of hard liquors. We used to line a large cooler with a garbage bag, then make it the night before the party so the watermelon, strawberries, and oranges we put in the bottom could soak up lots of the good stuff.
That stuff was damn good. You could be three or four glasses in before you remember (or felt the effects of) the alcohol.
It makes your brain so fuzzy you can't even remember how to speak.
You have the boobs, my friends, and I assure you that guys are dying to have a looksie,
No kidding. They get all weird about it. Like a snake being mesmerized by a snake charmer’s flute.
And its just not the guys either … WTH? Which reminds me…
Does any one know Swedish?
As far as flashing my breasts go?
In your dreams , buddy! Never did it , not interested in doing it … for anyone but my DH!
Well, I can definitely see why you would want to serve this to OTHERS. LOL I'm not yet convinced about drinking it myself! (Even with all the health benefits of the fresh fruit. LOL)
I swore off jungle juice after a particularly virulent New Year's where I was more than willing to flash everyone, but the hubs about started a fight when the shirt started sliding upwards. Opps.
I love this blog Hellie. And you're absolutely right about not pitching like we're scrubbing a toilet, with our nose wrinkled up and muttering under our breath about men who can't aim.
I started revisions on my complete novel this weekend, and read through the first few chapters, making scene notes as I went and other comments. Wow, it's way worse than I remembered. Ugh. So this is good timing for me. It will get better...I can revise...I have boobs boys want to see....lol
Congrats on having a pitch ready to go, Ter! Do you have appointments set up at Nationals? Ready??
Helli, the subjects you can continuously connect to writing amaze me! You should write a compilation book of all your blogs and sell it as a writer's companion! I'd buy it :)
Never flashed the girls - waaaaaay too shy (or as John Cusack would say in The Sure Thing - repreeeeeesed!) And I suppose after everything he had to go through to get a look the DH would not be happy I was just giving it away for free! LOL
Terr, congrats on finally nailing it down! And a week early too!!!!
Julie, it is sorta like being a snake charmer. I think that's part of my fascination on my end. *LOL* Though restricting the charming to one snake is probably in every girl's best interest. :)
Again with the chicken and egg thing. If they're uneasy, I get more twitchy...and I already arrived twitchy. I don't know if I have a whole lot of problems being myself--it's just I know that just because I like me doesn't mean anyone else has to. Unfortunately I take it personal when they don't. Hence the Twitchy.
Sin, be nice to your sister.
Donna, Jungle Juice is quite tasty. But the rules everyone has been tossing around are good ones:
1.) Don't let your ex-boyfriend doctor it with cheap wine (i.e. Mad Dog)--wine and liquor never sicker
2.) Don't eat the fruit at the bottom of the container--it's the most potent. Even if it seems like a good idea after 3 or 4 drinks. EVERYTHING seems like a good idea at that point.
3.) Have no plans for about 3 days after. You're going to need the time to rehydrate. And summon the energy to want to move again.
4.) Hire people to clean up--because you're not going to want to.
Well crap - only that first line should be italics to quote Hellion
And you’re absolutely right about not pitching like we’re scrubbing a toilet, with our nose wrinkled up and muttering under our breath about men who can’t aim.
Another great analogy of how NOT to sell your novel. But I never like to do housework, not even in my blog, so I went with the cheap, naked route. *LOL*
Well, I can definitely see why you would want to serve this to OTHERS.
LMAU!
One of the more interesting parties I ever attended was at college. No surprise, right? It was a “Jim Jones Party”. A party that the whole campus was invited to attend (and did). The beverage being served was Kool-Aid mixed with pure Everclear.
AKA … White Lightning.
No juice. Mo water. Just White Lightning.
The “punch” was served in big garbage cans … just like Jim served it.
For those of you who don’t know , Jim Jones was the founder and leader of the Peoples Temple. An organization best known for the November 18, 1978 death of more than 900 Temple members in Jonestown, Guyana.
They died … after drinking Kool-Aid laced with poison.
A very macabre party. Wild. Strange. An interesting night… since I was one of thefew sober people there.
Hey. I might be crazy. But I aint Nuts.
I never drink “the punch” at any party
I started revisions on my complete novel this weekend, and read through the first few chapters, making scene notes as I went and other comments. Wow, it’s way worse than I remembered. Ugh. So this is good timing for me. It will get better…I can revise…I have boobs boys want to see….lol
I hate when this happens. You were probably reading at the wrong time. *LOL* If you'd been reading a month from now, you'd be all, "Wow! I can't believe I wrote something this brilliant!" I think a good rule of thumb to keep is that your writing is neither as brilliant or as horrific as you're currently thinking. We need to work on some middle ground.
And I suppose after everything he had to go through to get a look the DH would not be happy I was just giving it away for free!
I have a feeling Deerhunter would feel the same way if he knew. "WHAT? I put in all the hours and these bozos got to see 'em first? WTH!" I mean how do you explain that you're not interested in the other guy so it doesn't matter what they think, but because you're interested in HIM, you're way concerned about what he thinks? It doesn't make sense, but unfortunately how my brain works. Plus, SHINY PRETTY BEADS.
Hellion's Pirate Writing Companion: Everything You Didn't Need to Know About Writing But I'll Tell You Anyway
I like it.
That should be
LMAO
Although the U in LMAU could stand for "U" as in "You"!
OMG, Jules, I can't imagine a Jim Jones party. That IS creepy! *LOL* I'd spend the whole night yelling, "Don't drink the kool-aid!"
No Mardi Gras beads or jungle juice in my past. I had much more to contribute to the discussion about vanilla. LOL!
As for confidence in my writing, it is not a high tide today. I got a rejection that gave me whiplash.
I too stand in awe at Hellie's abilities as an analogist for writers. I still think the pirates should have that challenge where we come up with our wildest ideas to see what analogies she can create.
I’m at the point where I’m floundering a little with the story and it does feel so ordinary. Even yesterday I kept trying to come up with new GMC for my characters that would totally change the story. No way. I need to push this baby through the wall and keep going.
I think it's great your story is "ordinary"--it means it's within and about the Human Experience, and the Human Experience is very ordinary...since we're all humans and living the experience all the time. We're always loving, grieving, laughing, crying, working, playing, et al. If you're writing outside of the human experience--you're writing something extraordinary, I'm sure--but then the rest of us silly humans wouldn't connect to it.
It's always more important to connect to people than be "extraordinary" in my opinion.
Sorry to hear about the R, Janga. That bites. Sounds like you could use a dose of Jungle Juice. (Or maybe Chance has a recipe for "Janga Juice"?)
Janga, they already stumped me with Wall Street and Star Trek. It doesn't take much to stump me. *LOL* Just business and geeks.
The vanilla discussion was great, wasn't it? I loved it!
I'm sorry to hear about the rejection whiplash. That sucks!
The beverage being served was Kool-Aid mixed with pure Everclear.
AKA … White Lightning.
AKA: Paint Can.
BTW, with the confidence thing, I think this is the perfect time to employ the "fake it til you make it" philosophy. This is where enthusiasm should help me. If I can muster up my enthusiasm, that will hopefully translate as confidence.
Fingers crossed anyway.
Sorry about the rejection, Janga. I've still not figured out if it's harder to get the answer quick or to linger with anticipation and then get it.
Two thumbs down on the rejection Janga. :(
I do not like fake it until you make it philosophies. I know they work, but it seems so insincere. And well, FAKE. Fake people make me crazy.
That said, I am for the Stewart Smalley stuff. You know, telling yourself little self-approval stuff until you believe it. "Because I'm smart enough, strong enough, and doggone it, people like me." I guess I'm not against giving yourself pep talks for the greater good, but lying to everyone else that you're fine when you're not always seems a disaster waiting to happen. Like the knight in the Holy Grail who keeps getting limbs lopped off but insists he can still take you and that he's perfectly fine. Clearly NOT--he just seems ridiculous with his fake it until you make it mentality.
Oh, Janga, I'm so sorry! Hopefully it was a helpful or constructive rejection and not just mean! Either way, it stinks! Sending hugs your way!
I'm a big believer in the "fake it, til you make it" philosophy. It has gotten me through some pretty rough spots in my life. And as it turns out, I'm making it and I'm not faking it anymore. Just took a little longer than I would've liked.
Did I kill my own blog? Fine, I believe in fake it until you make it. Happy now?
LOL, Hellion -- I think I just finished my revisions. That's what I've been doing. I'm going to take a little break and then check a couple of things before sending this thing off.
And then I'm gonna go buy some BOOKS! (What a difference a letter makes. LOL)
I vote for this book coming out...soon. Hellion’s Pirate Writing Companion: Everything You Didn’t Need to Know About Writing But I’ll Tell You Anyway
Janga! Sorry... There's that saying me DH likes, That which doesn't kills us makes us stronger.
I personally always thought it was shit, but he liked it.
Scape and her perfect boobs...yeah, yeah. This is why you're Scapegoat and it's all your fault. Everything. Even Janga getting a rejection.
What was this blog about, anyway? I got lost...
Hey, Scape is staying in our room. I say we freeze her bra.
Congrats, Donna!
Uhm, shouldn't that book now go through beta readers? Huh? Huh? Huh?
I'm buried under expense reports and transmittal changes and just freaking shoot me now.
*sigh*
Eh, Terri - It's gonna be so freaking hot and humid in Orlando, she might enjoy that.
And Donna is putting me to shame... Must read MS...must!
Janga! Sorry… There’s that saying me DH likes, That which doesn’t kills us makes us stronger.
I personally always thought it was shit, but he liked it.
I'm with you Chance! If I hear that saying one more time this week I'm going to go postal!
Sent my babies off to summer camp on Saturday and I haven't been this much of a basket case since our dog got hit and killed by a truck. I don't know whether their separation anxiety is worse or mine! I've cried so much my eyes are practically swollen shut, I can't keep any food down and I've had a total of about 4 decent hours of sleep!
So, I say throw a pity party, Janga, and I'll bring the Jungle Juice!!!! Enough with this let's try to find the positive BS!
Wow, Irish, you need to come stay with me. Mine leaves for TWO AND A HALF MONTHS.
No pity from this corner. LOL!
Yeah, Ter, I was thinking about you the other day. How do you do it?! I think I'd be okay with it if I hadn't gotten a few "I don't like it and can't stop crying" texts. Rips your heart out! The DH and I had already started mapping our trip up there to save them when she sent a more positive text. What a weekend!
I think the biggest show of confidence is having a great hook - - kinda like this blog. LOL
A great hook shows off the book by being bold or funny or having a high concept. All that is showing A LOT of confidence. No wonder it's too much for a lot of writers to pull off. As Terri mentions:
I spent eight years making everything from cars to overalls to insurance sound interesting. The delivery? I got it.
Exactly. But it's a little harder when it's your own investment of energy and emotions your trying to sell. So why should we try to do it ourselves? In fact, it sounds very attractive to me to have someone else, with more objectivity, make the query pitch who can be bold and funny and think up high concepts. I'll just sign my name. LOL It's kind of fake it until I make it in the extreme - - someone else can be me better than me. LOL Although pitching in person could be difficult...
Mine leaves for TWO AND A HALF MONTHS.
No pity from this corner. LOL!
No comparing, ladies. Pain is pain.
Melissa, are you suggesting we become ventriloquists? Damn, now wouldn't that be a hilarious prop to have at an editor pitch. "Hi, my name is Hellion, and this is my agent Captain Jack Sparrow." *brings out Jack Sparrow dummy doll* "Say hello, Jack."
"'ello luv. Let me tell you about my darlin' strumpet's novel...what, what?"
Oh, they'd cart me off in a little white jacket with buckles, but it would be amusing.
The DH and I had already started mapping our trip up there to save them when she sent a more positive text.
Anyone else going:
Hello mother, hello father,
Here I am at Camp Grenada.
Camp is very entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining!
I went hiking with Joyce Fivey,
He developed poison ivy.
You remember Lennard Skynard,
He got tomain poisoning last night after dinner!
All the counselors hate the waiters,
And the lake has alligators!
And the head coach wants no sissies,
So he reads to us from something called 'Ulysses'.
No, I don't want (this should scare ya),
But my bunkmate has malaria!
You remember Geoffrey Hardy,
They're about to organize a searching party!
Wait a minute; it stopped hailing.
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.
Playing baseball, gee that's better.
Muddah, faddah, kindly disregard this letter!
Tell me you had to look that up.
Irish - You win. Mine doesn't call crying to come home. Well, not until about week 8.
Of course, I had to look it up. It's not a George Strait song.
We sang that to them last week with a big laugh! I'm hoping we'll be able to laugh about it again next week!
The biggest surprise was the DH's reaction (probably cause camp was his idea!). I don't know whether he felt worse for inflicting this on his kids or his wife who he found on his daughter's bed Saturday night in tears holding a teddy bear.
We've come up with another saying - that which doesn't kill us makes for a good story!
I wonder if I could start a new business... Pitching by Proxy...
I mean, once you have the agent, the agent does the query stuff...but the pitching... I could do this...
Though I quite like the idea of the ventriliquist act...
I'm putting a list together of my many writing projects to spring on my agent in Orlando...she'll be the one running through the lobby with her hair on fire. Add in Hellion's Sparrow doll and we might make the news!
Hellion has a point.
Sent my babies off to summer camp on Saturday and I haven’t been this much of a basket case since our dog got hit and killed by a truck.
Irish this might help ... the first time I went to camp I too was miserable in my first days away from my family. So I wrote the most tragic letter begging them to come and rescue me from a fate worse then death. When my parents showed up that weekend I was like “ You wanna take me home? Why? I was just starting to have fun! Whaaaaaa”
Irish – You win. Mine doesn’t call crying to come home. Well, not until about week 8.
Looking back on it, it is probably going to be comical but I can't quite get to that point yet. Her first 5-6 texts (illegal, at that, texting is not allowed. So, of course I'm picturing her in a bathroom stall trying to furiously text between tears, hiding out) were dire. We finally got one that was more... I'm feeling better, met a girl that's not as scary, going off to play pranks on one of the boy cabins. Meanwhile, mom and dad are at home with heads in the toilet and tears streaming down their face ready to call out the national guard! This parenting gig is not for sissies!
Poor Irish. I can see why hubby is at his wit's end, with water works at both ends of the phone. Come now, Irish, buck up. You got some alone time with the hubby! What do you guys not get to do when the kids are underfoot? You should go do it! Go out to dinner, go to a movie YOU want to see. Write this out--pathos is always good for writing. I wrote my thinly veiled autobiography that way. Take up some gym class for a while--something new like belly dancing or step aerobics...one will be frivolous but fun, the other will wear you slick and you'll possibly collapse from exhaustion. Cook something new that the kids wouldn't like anyway, but you would. Do something just for you.
And don't worry. Terri doesn't know how to do any of that either. I'm going to get an email of "What do you mean do something just for me? I'd be doing that anyway."
I'm sure the texting is illegal just for this very reason. *LOL* It's too bad she didn't get to go to camp with a friend already in tow so she didn't feel so much displacement.
There's a great book out there by Elizabeth Arthur called "Looking for the Klondike Stone" all about her adventures in summer camp. Fab book... http://www.elizabetharthur.org/
My one experience at camp was full of turmoil, but that was me...bound to be.
BTW, Scapegoat is reviewing Married by Morning in Cheekyreads and is nuts for it...
I almost went to a movie last night. Then just didn't get off the couch.
The only camp I ever went to was band camp. Ten days away from home was like a dream come true. Even with the marching at 6am.
*LOL* Yeah, the DH was lamenting yesterday - "This is definitely not how I pictured this week going!"
Got a hair appointment tomorrow and might just pop in and see my friends at Massage Envy before the week is out! If all is well by Thursday we might take a trip downtown for some awesome ribs.
I wouldn't be such a wimp if I knew they were not miserable or worse scared! I'm afraid that's my achilles heel. Things are definitely looking up, though - no texts in about 18 hours. No news is good news. Right??!!
Right!
I need to schedule a massage and mani/pedi for next weekend.
Dang, me, too!
Another reason for the DH's guilt, Hellie. She told him repeatedly she wouldn't mind going if she just could bring a friend with. He assured her it would be alright cause she meet new friends there and she'd have her brother with her!
Ter something you and the DH have in common! He went to camp too and it was the best time of his life! I think his heart was in the right place - he just wanted to give that experience to his kids.
Band camp, huh, Ter? You have seen "American Pie" haven't you?! That's another thing everyone has been saying to us all week when we tell them they are going to camp. They all say "Band Camp?" with a smile and a wink.
The DH just called to invite me out on a date tonight! Going to the movies... whoo hooo!
Hey - no freezing my bra! I had to love the boobs - I was an overweight, nerdy, smart teenager who really appreciated mother nature giving me one good thing to help boost some confidence in me. :)
And I did absolutely love Married by Morning - even if the ending *might* have been a little off. It was the kind of book that was so good I could have overlooked any little flaws.
What ya gonna see?
No news is great news. She's probably still playing pranks on those boys.
You should definitely do the Massage Envy (2 hours!) and the hair appointment will be lovely. Now you definitely need to work in some fun time with the hubby. Do it in places you don't normally get to have it! Or just work it in--because I doubt he's going to care much about location. I bet the poor guy was like "Uninterrupted sex! Fun with my wife!"--and now all the crying. *shakes head* I sorta want to send the poor man a sympathy card. But it's his fault. He did not plan for this contingency and he should have.
Don't worry, Scape...I doubt we'll have a fridge in our room...
...he should have...!!! How in the world could he have known camp might be traumatic for his kids!?
Hel! Is this like the guy should know I want my shoulders rubbed even though I don't say anything to him?
I know the pain of being the overweight, nerdy teen and having the girls be the only blessing you have. BUT, you are now a hot blonde bombshell with great boobs, therefore, the bra must freeze.
This one time at band camp....
Smart man, your hubby, Irish! What do you think you'll see?
I thought Knight and Day was cute; and Despicable Me was cute, I heard. I loved Eclipse, but I'm pretty sure it's not up either of your alleys.
Irish's DH is a natural optimist--he did not prepare for the thought that his daughter would HATE it, freak out and text message--and wig out her mother. If he did prepare, he would have had a talk on the way back from camp drop off that said, "She may have an adjustment phase. It's going to be okay."
Despicable Me has cute orphans, might start the waterworks again...
She really is georgous, Terri...OK, we'll find a freezer somewhere.
Inception is new and suspenseful, I hear. That might be the way to go.
Two hours and forty minutes...man. I may need a day when the dog is in daycare to go see Inception! But I do hear good things about it.
There is always the Sorcerer's Apprentice...
Get Him to the Greek? Never heard of it. He says it's an R rated comedy we can't go see with the kids. At this point I just want a distraction and some good popcorn! Either that or he suggested IronMan 2. I love Robert Downey.
That is totally a guy's movie. Russell Brand and P Diddy. He's scamming you, Irish. You need to google it and maybe call an audible.
Get Him to the Greek has Russell Brand. I don't know. It's going to be along the line of Talledega Nights, but without the class, I'm pretty sure. I saw Ironman2 and it was really good, I thought. (But it's not rated R... and I get going to the R movies. *LOL*)
*LOL* I agree with Terr--he's scamming you. GHTTG is a rental at best. If you love Robert Downey, I'd go with that one.
Iron Man2! Enough slam bang for the guys and Robert for the girls!
Ha! We typed at the same time. LOL! I want to see Iron Man 2, but I still haven't seen Iron Man 1!
I *did* at one time want to see GHTTG, because I like Russell Brand, but you're warned:
Forgetting Sarah Marshall's Nick Stoller writes and directs this buddy comedy starring Jonah Hill as an insurance agent who's forced to follow a rowdy rock star (Russell Brand) on a trip from London to L.A. in this Universal Pictures production.
*LOL* Yeah, he said he knows nothing about it but a friend saw it at the cheap theater last weekend and thought it was hilarious. Now I just have to find out what friend and that will give me the answers I need!
Maybe I'll call that audible and push for Iron Man 2. I saw Iron Man 1 reluctantly but loved it!
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