Monday, June 28, 2010
Revision Ain't For Sissies Part 1 - The Art of the Opening Scene
All that celebrating over finishing my first rough draft of a novel seems like ancient history now. That was the fun part. Everything was kisses and carnivals and sock monkeys, now it’s all boring and back story and hair pulling.In the first week of my six week revision class, I was flying high, smug even. Our assignment was to list all our scenes on index cards or post its and put them up on a board somewhere. I’d done that during the writing, so I was ahead. Oh yes, I thought I was so prepared.
Then the second week came. The opening scene. I’ve always worked at creating that perfect opening line. With this MS, I once again was smug in believing I’d written a doozy. It was an ode and a parady and cute and I thought my dreck didn’t stink.
Boy, was I wrong.
There’s a lot more to this opening than one dinky line. (Which went out the window this past weekend.) I’ve spent two weeks trying to rework this scene. The teacher had warned us, the opening would take longer than all the rest and would be the toughest to get right. I admit, I thought she was crazy. It’s one scene, how hard could that be? Then I found out what all this scene is supposed to do.
You talk about multi-tasking.
First, you have to hook the reader in, starting in the middle of the action. But then again, you want to establish a tiny bit of the character’s normal world, before you turn it upside down. Without info dumping or bombarding the reader with back story, of course. Then you need an antagonist for the scene. Not necessarily the antagonist of the book, but someone or something who is keeping your character from getting what he/she wants.
The scene should have anywhere from four to seven beats depending on how long you want to go. (You can ask me about beats, but I’ve no idea if I can explain it to you in the comments. But if you want to know, ask and I’ll give it my best shot.) I started with three beats and have expanded to five. I’m pretty damn proud of that AND it made the scene a hell of a lot stronger.
BOOYAH!
But we aren’t done yet. This scene also needs to set up the conflict. Think of it like that opening scene in Jaws. We never see a shark. But we hear that music and we know, this ain’t good. We know something scary is coming. Your opening scene should have a hint of that Jaws music at the end. Something that makes the reader think, “Uh oh, this is going to get messy.”And the cherry on top of the sundae, the opening scene should present a promise to your reader that you’ll fulfill in the final scene. In other words, this is the beginning of the end and will dictate all that is to follow.
All this, from one scene. No, no, my friends. This shit is not for sissies at all.
What about everyone else? You got a killer opening scene? Have you found that perfect formula, the balance that makes all these elements work seamlessly together? Anyone want to talk about the great opening scenes from our favorite authors? I think SEP might be the queen of the opening scene. Come on, she put the heroine in a beaver suit. Who does that?!
PS: This is the Revision class through Storywonk and I can't recommend it highly enough.
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40 comments:
Yeah, and somehow, she hauled me along on this nightmare...
No, not that bad...though I've come to the conclusion that I have an entirely different writing vocabulary than the rest of the world. (Might be exagerating there, but I sure feel that way sometimes!)
My opening scene, per this class, has been honed down and diddled with until I barely recognize it. But! It's getting there.
I just struggle with the terms. Beats? What? Bo'sun has tried to show me...uh huh. Sure. Scenes? Nope, gave up on that idea. I write in episodes. I sorta got that. They move the H/H, leave no real room for decision... Turning Points? Point of No Return?
But I am finding the HOA with this class is a great coping mechanism.
I'm making the Bo'sun a perch hat for the steampunk ball I'm dragging her to at the Nationals! Thought ought to take up a few weeks, at least!
Perfect opening...well, I just watched "Mama Mia" and that was pretty good...
...dancing queen, young and sweet, only 17...
Take that, Donna. Hope it's stuck in yer head all day!
Chance - I just read this and then went back to do my hair. Dancing Queen came on the radio. It's like it was kismet. LOL! I dance around, I won't lie.
And you have scenes and when we're in the same room, I'll get you to see that. We're slowly creating a middle ground language somehow. :)
Have to meet a man about some printing on the way to work but I'll be back on as soon as I get to the office.
(Not that this blog is on fire or anything...)
Chance! You are SO evil!
Rock the boat, don't tip the boat overrrrrr
Well I admire both of you ladies for going through this class. It sounds really tough.
The opening scene is very important, and it's usually the one I tinker with the most. It's hard because you have to get enough info in there so the reader CARES about this person being in the situation they are in, BUT you can't slow the action down with an info dump.
It's like carrying a tray full of margaritas across a tightrope while wearing ice skates. LOL
I think it's easier to revise this scene once the book is done, though, because then you know for sure what NEEDS to go in there.
Great post -- and thanks for sharing all the good stuff you're learning!
Genie in a Bottle is on my radio. Don't make me sing a line in here...
Donna - It's not really a tough class at all. It's not a case of "Have this assignment done by the end of the week." It's more "In six weeks I'm going to give you tools, tricks, and insights and you use them however they work for you." There's a forum where anyone who wants feedback can get it from their fellow classmates and the teacher is always open to questions of any kind.
You're definitely right about reworking this opening scene AFTER the rest of the book is written. First pass, just have fun with it. Info dump and load it up with back story if you want. That's the best way to get to know your characters in the beginning.
That sounds awesome, Bo'sun. I'm glad you guys got to take that class, since it sounds like you're gonna have a lot of things to work with at the end of it.
You're exactly right about getting to know the characters in the beginning -- they leave a lot of clues to work with. LOL Then I can go back in and rearrange the info to suit the story.
Donna - I'm guessing you and I write similar in that the story comes from the characters. I can't know how the story is going to go until I know the characters really well. Thankfully, the characters for the next book are more than happy to talk my ear off right now. We're really getting to know each other. :)
Since I have memory issues, remember details of books I've read doesn't always happen. But often it's the strong opening that will stay with me. In SEP's IT HAD TO BE YOU, I still remember the mess Phoebe's dog made at her father's funeral. It didn't exactly kick she and the hero off on the right foot, but it was freaking hysterical.
And I remember it!
This sounds like a wonderful class...I agree, opening scenes are SO HARD. Actually, my favorite first line isn't from a romance novel, it's from the book, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.
The Herdmans were the worst kids in the whole history of the world.
A simple line that completely sets up the story.
Getting back to romance, I'm a big fan of Sherry Thomas, but her opening scenes break all the "rules". She has such a mastery of bringing the reader into emotion, I suppose she can get away with it.
Thanks for sharing...great article!
Victoria
Dead by ten. Nice.
LOL -- not dead! I was finishing my post for tomorrow AND making my grocery list. LOL Everyone else is on vacay or sleeping!
I have memory issues too, but if someone gives me a nudge I'm pretty good (like you did with IT HAD TO BE YOU, which I loved). I almost NEVER remember characters' names, but if I'm reminded about the story, my brain can usually kick up some details. LOL
Ok, I'll bite.... What are beats?
I don't know if my opening scene is accomplishing all this. I *think* so. I almost think someone else has to tell you this stuff. Thank goodness for CPs.
That's "teenage CRUSH". Gah!
Donna - I'm the same way. I need reminders. LOL! But then it usually comes back to me. Depends on how long ago I read the book.
Marn - Beats. They are really quite simple. Think of it as beats of music. Or maybe bars of music. In each bar, something different happens but it makes up one sequence of the song.
So my opening scene has five beats.
One - Emma watching television and talking to her cat.
Two - Emma finding her drunk sister and teenage crust (Nate) on her doorstep. Sister pukes over the side of the porch and they get her to the couch.
Three - Emma and Nate doing the little don't I know you/catching up thing. She's attracted and he's flirting.
Four - Emma's son wakes up and comes out to see what the commotion is. Freaks at the sight of Nate in his house. (Nate is a major league baseball player so this is a big deal for a 12 yr old boy.) Fires off tons of questions which sets up the future conflict.
Five - After she gets Jordy back to bed, she gets Nate out the door, attraction forgotten as she's now distracted with the first inkling of the conflict to come.
It's all one scene, but with different beats of action, each moving the story along, containing a hint of conflict, and revealing info the reader needs to become engrossed with the characters.
That's the goal anyway.
I think this is such a fun story -- I'm really looking forward to it. I think I already have a CRUST on Nate. :)
Very cool blog, Ter! (sorry, I was among the sleeping!)
After I read through your post I applied all the things the opening scene is supposed to do to the last couple of books I read and they did it! It's pretty neat when you can get concrete examples of what you are learning to get it all to make sense.
I agree about SEP. I think if you were to quiz me I could come up with the opening scene to every one of her books. That is a feat in itself considering my capacity for retaining anything lately!
I also agree about the opening scene being the hardest. I've given up and moved on to the rest of the book. Just like most things in my life I'm figuring if I avoid it long enough it'll go away. LOL
Donna - Nate does have a sexy outer crust. ;)
Irish - If I were a better blogger (read: wrote this before 11pm last night) I would have supplied a really good example. LOL! But then again, opening scenes can run as long as 2500 words or more, so I'd have lost everyone pretty quick.
It is nice to see this in action though, you're right. When we read the scenes, we just know we love them. But to break them down in this way, to follow the beats and see how the scene fulfills all these jobs well is such a great way to learn. Makes it much easier to apply to our own stuff.
I'm terrified to check and see if my opening scene has "beats." If I start revising with the opening scene again, I may never query this book--and I'm almost at the point of actually contacting agents.
And, thanks guys, the whole Mama Mia soundtrack is now running in my head. It's my beat- the-blahs and end-the-self-pity-party music. I have the CD, and it's on my ipod and my computer. :)
The more I hear about your WIP, Ter, the more eager I am to read it.
Mama mia! Here I go again! My my! How could I forget you!?
Nothing like going to bed with ABBA in yer head.
The Bo'suns got beats down pretty well. I have an inkling, but dread taking my own stuff apart and figuring it out. Hell, I dread taking anyone's stuff apart and figuring it out.
I am such a pantser.
I'm working hard in this class in absorbing enough of the guidelines to let them settle peacefully with my muse and my intuitive nature and not get the cannons primed and ready to repulse all new ideas... My normal MO.
Wow, that wasn't supposed to all be bolded. Grrr...
Thanks for the compliment, Janga. I too am dying to read your book. Have been for some time. [not so subtle hint dropped]
Chance - You're working it and surfing through this class amicably for a free spirit like yourself. Doesn't matter how you adapt the stuff or apply it, if it works for you, then that's the goal. As Tim Gunn would say, "Make it work!"
Ah, the master Gunn... You know, Project Runway will debut while we're in Orlando...
The hell you say!
Thank heaven for the DVR.
You did it again, Ter. I went out for my 30-minute walk to clear my mind and all the stuff you wrote kept going through my head and I came up with an opening scene. I'll tell ya, I can't count the times I've read something here, stirred it around in my brain for a while and something clicked. Thank you!
Now I just need to get rid of everyone wanting "mommy/wife" stuff from me today and get it all down on the computer.
Count me among those who can't wait to read your book, Ter (and yours Janga!). I'm sure they'll both be awesome.
Janga - I just finished Summer in Sonoma by Robyn Carr and loved it! That is kinda what I'm shooting for - my anchor is the neighborhood they all live in, though, not knowing each other since 7th grade.
Happy to be of service, Irish! It's always those moments for me, driving or drifting off to sleep or walking, when my brain isn't trying to do a million things at once. That's when the inspiration comes. Glad I could give you a little nudge.
And now I'm imagining your story has all the elements of the burbs. LOL! The cookouts and kids bikes in the cul-de-sac. That one house with the lawn that isn't quite up to par and then there's the competition between the wives. That's always good for drama and conflict. ;)
Great blog, Bo'sun~
I'm considering signing up for this class in Sept. My goal is to have my first draft done by Nationals, and I figure I'll be ready to dive into revisions by Sept.
Count me among those who can't wait to read yours, and Janga's stories.
I love the beats-I work hard at those, even if I didn't have a name for it.
Cap'n-Great blog yesterday. Glad your trip to Hogwarts lived up to your expectations.
Di
Speaking of the Captain, where is that bloody woman today?!
Di R - Thanks! I really do recommend this class. Far and away better than any ecourse I've taken and the forum adds so much more than can be done in an email loop. There's a live class once a week, though you can always go back and watch the class anytime. Even long after the course is over, you can still access all the lessons, which is a great bonus.
Good luck getting that first draft done and be sure to keep us posted! BTW - Feel free to email off the blog before Nationals if you want to set up a time for us all to get together. We're talking about doing a fancy meal Thursday night, you're welcome to come with us.
Thanks, Terri~
I couldn't find your email address(I had it once, before I cleaned my desk), so I sent you a pm on the EJ/JQ bb.
Di-off to pick up my son from football camp.
I totally intended to put my email in the comment. LOL! See what I mean about forgetful?!
djtlo AT yahoo DOT com
Can't remember the last time I checked out the BB. Huh.
Wow, Ter! That's a hell of a lot of work in that class, but I'll bet it's so much stronger in the end for all your work.
I'm planning to start revising in September or so (I haven't touched or opened that MS for six months). The class your taking -- is it offered regularly? Who runs it? It sounds awesome!
Hey, Hal! Where ya been? Sunburned yet? LOL! Is it as hot up there as it is down here? Holy hell, we need some relief!
There is a link at the bottom of the blog for Storywonk, which is where you can sign up for the class. Lani Diane Rich is the teacher and she will be offering it again in the fall. She's really calming and all of us are constantly telling each other, "Everything will be fine." LOL! And at the end of every class, you have to exclaim (type in caps) I AM A GREAT WRITER!
I say go for it. This is very basic, roll up your sleeves stuff. I can already tell it's making a difference for me.
I just got back into town, and wasn't quite expecting this heat. I had my week at school, which was wonderful, though exhausting.
I may sign up for that in the fall. It's so daunting to look at an entire novel and say "revise." The thought of someone walking me through it step my step sounds like such a huge relief!
That's exactly what this is, a step by step process. Each week she breaks it down into managable increments. Much easier to attack it that way.
Talked to my mom in Pittsburgh today and she said it's in the 70s up there. NOT the case down here. LOL! Don't you wish you could go back?
It's 93 here with the heat index several degrees highrer. The high has been in the 90s for most of June, which makes me wonder what August will bring.
Irish, I'm so glad you liked Summer in Sonoma. Walt has joined my list of all-time favorite heroes. Ter, you have to read this book. No one who hasn't would believe Walt--a burly biker beta hero!
okay it's after 8 and i am stuck at work babysitting some dude who is fixing our network. web is down and email won't work on my phone. i am about to start throwing shit. anyway, i'm typing this on my phone to say I GOT THE CONDO!!!
WooHoo! Congratulations on the condo!
Di
Terri, that's awesome news! I just poked in to say sorry I couldn't be around today, and saw this -- I'm really happy for you! (Hope there's a room for the Navy SEALS. LOL)
Oh, Donna, I'll make space. In my room. ;)
I am finally home! Holy shit, that was a long night. And I don't even have solitaire on my work computer. I've been playing sudoku on my phone. Not the most exciting thing in the world.
Thanks, ladies. I'm excited and really trying not to throw up. LOL! It's a huge step and I'm pretty sure I've got a handle on all of it, but now the real crazy stuff starts with appraisals and inspections and lining up movers. (For the first time in my life, after ten moves in 20 years, I am hiring someone else to move this shit for me! LOL!
Now I'm going to sit and do nothing for at least the next hour. *sigh*
Okay, Janga, SUMMER IN SONOMA. Can I read this without reading anything before it? That's two new ones you've given me in two days. Slow the heck down.
I'm rewriting at the moment and the one scene I haven't touched so far is my opening scene! I'm just trying to know the rest of my plot well enough to realise what my opening gambit should be... Now, does that sound like a good excuse?
Sounds like a good excuse to me, Charmed. And welcome to the ship!
I actually feel better going forward to new projects knowing the opening can't really be perfected until I have the whole story written. You need all that info, ya know?
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