Favorite Enemies
- A Little Sisterly Advice
- Cheeky Reads
- DRD aka Donna's Blog
- Gunner Marnee's Blog
- J.K. Coi: Living with Immortals
- Just Janga
- Killer Fiction
- Kimberly Killion
- Maggie Robinson
- Maureen O. Betita
- Megan Kelly
- Pam Clare
- Renee Lynn Scott
- Romance Bandits
- Romance Dish
- Scapegoat's Blogspot
- Smartass Romance
- Terri Osburn Writes Romance
- Tessa Dare
- Vauxhall Vixens
Blog Archive
Overwriters Anonymous Unite!
Generally speaking, I think whatever men can do women can do, and in a lot of cases, we can do it better. However, there is one area that as a whole, women are notoriously bad at doing.
Telling jokes.
The reasons vary. There are those of us who laugh before we get to the punch line. And there are those of us who don’t remember the punch line. And even those of us who don’t even understand the punch line. But even more so than any of these joke-killers, it’s this: we can’t tell a joke without unnecessary details. We absolutely can’t stand it.
For instance, let me use my married friends Sarah and Mike. Mike loves to tell jokes; and he’s good at it (he’s a guy.) And generally he’ll tell his jokes to Sarah, his much adoring wife. This is a slightly dramatized example of how such a joke telling might go.
Sarah: That sounds funny! What are you laughing at?
Mike: Hellion forwarded me a joke.
Sarah: Do tell. I could use a good laugh.
Mike: Okay. A drunk blonde Irish woman….
Sarah: Why does she have to be blonde?
Mike: What? It’s a blonde joke, darling. That’s just the way it is.
Sarah: Why can’t she be a brunette or a redhead? Or chestnut haired? That’s a blend, you know.
Mike: It’s a blonde joke.
Sarah: Fine. Please continue.
Mike: A drunk blonde Irish woman walks into a casino and says she wants to bet $10,000 on one roll of the dice….
Sarah: Why? Is she in desperate straights?
Mike: Huh?
Sarah: I don’t understand her motivation. Is she trying to save her family or her house or is she just some gold-digging harpy who stole $10,000 and is trying to….
Mike: Are you going to let me tell this joke, sugar pie?
Sarah: Of course, I’m going to let you tell it. Aren’t I letting you tell it? It just doesn’t sound like a very good joke is all. A stereotypical blonde woman and no explanation where she got her $10,000….
As you can imagine, the rest of this conversation goes downhill; and the joke loses its punch. Getting obsessed in explaining every detail slows pacing and can make you feel like you’re in a very bad episode of 24. I know this. Boy, do I know this. And yet, here I am, writing my scenes like I’m writing a chick-lit version of Jack Bauer. I manage to leave out potty breaks and brushing one’s teeth, but it’s a very close thing.
My day-to-day storytelling revolves around the mundane detail. As does my friend Sarah. In fact it’s why she likes to talk with me. She says I really listen, like every detail really does matter. We’ll talk about an incident at work and end up inserting details about what we happened to be wearing that day—and yes, we did get our new shoes at DSW. So it shouldn’t be surprising that my writing is a lot like my day-to-day storytelling with my friends. Where it does have the benefit of being deep POV with my character, I get bogged down creating the sort of detail that doesn’t matter to the scene at hand. Or worse, creating entire scenes that don’t matter to the story I’m telling.
Terri was asking me where I was on my revisions on Girl on a Grecian Urn; and I explained I was at the same engagement party dinner that I was at months ago. I don’t know what to do with that scene. I couldn’t carry it, but I couldn’t go on until I’d written the scene.
But I didn’t need that particular scene. There was no reason to have that scene. It didn’t move anything forward. It didn’t impart any necessary knowledge about my heroine or hero…or even about the secondary characters that was absolutely needed at this time or that hadn’t already been related in previous or later scenes. So why couldn’t I move on?
I think it’s because I’m a horrible joke teller who tries to insert more detail than is really necessary to get the point across.
Dee, one of my superfabulous CPs, would simply say I’m an overwriter, which is what she claims she is. And I’m betting there are a lot of overwriters out there.
Are you an overwriter? And if so, how do you make yourself stay on task and keep your scenes trim and well-paced? What is your best advice for making a great scene or deciding what scenes are necessary to have? Any books you’d recommend that cover this? (I can always use a new book.) Help a fellow overwriter!
Books by the Crew
76 comments:
Hmmmm...not sure. I think I am the other half of this problem: and underwriter. At least for the first few drafts. My first drafts are ridiculously spare. Revisions involve a LOT of adding and plenty of frustration over the wreck I've allowed myself to write.*g*
I'll let ya know if I'm an overwriter as the drafts progress. Am on draft two now!
Great blog!
Awesome blog! I think I'm an underwriter. Not an underwriter of the commercial sort, but I think I tend to underwrite scenes. And when I think about how much I underwrite, I begin to write in those brushing the teeth scenes. I've even gone as far as writing an entire scene around the use of a chamber pot, or the need to use it. (Somebody said I couldn't do it, and my natural inclination is to do that very thing that I'm told I can't do.) Of course it's a first chapter and I think it actually works rather well.
My best advice is to write. Write damnit! Because you can't revise a blank page. You can always cut the overwrite later.
Renee
I'm an overwriter. It doesn't matter what kind of writing I'm doing, I overwrite. One of the most difficult parts of the process for me is the pruning, whether its words or lines cut away from a poem or half of an essay or chapters from a book. Today I reread and reread a chapter in TLWH. I loved writing it, and I think it's well written. But I suspect that it belongs in my button box because it is not essential to the story. I'll probably cut it in the morning, but it will be painful to do so.
I know no cure for overwriting. If you discover one, Hellion, please share. In the meantime, I comfort myself with something my creative writing prof in grad school told me: it may be something I need to write to get where I need to go in the story even when it's nothing the reader needs to see. I wrote one scene in TLWH knowing it would never be part of the book, but it was something I HAD to know about my H/H. I could learn it only by writing a scene that takes place beyond the limits of the book.
Well, I'm not certain... I know that I tend ta get caught up in filling in the time line. I jus' can't jump from 'the voyage began' to the 'voyage ended' without a lot of what went on as they sailed. I don't know if it be fillin' in what be necessary or not necessary! I gots ta agree with Janga, at some point, they be right cause it be somethin' I need ta know.
I think! I be bettin' the key ta leavin' behind yer party scene be in jus' movin' on. Lie ta yerself that ye'll be comin' back ta it...find the reason it be necessary by jumpin' ahead.
I lie ta meself all the time ta get me movin' on...
No, I don't! It be the truth!
Uh huh.
Great blog example...the joke... Hee, hee.
Maybe this be why I resist the character profile...I be 'fraid a' gettin' tied up in all they whys and whynots...? Too easy ta obsess on details...
I liked your take on this Helli, then I misread Kelly's 'underwriter' as undertaker (joke! :wink: ).
I know that in social gatherings women often tend to cluster on one side and chat about local events, the cooking club, art classes or whatever, and sip lemonade whilst the fellas gather and address global issues, climate, politics or technical issues like car mechanics and drink beer or scotch.
I think this is a consequence of evolution where women looked after the cave, cooked and swept, kept the children happy and generally attended to the minutiae of life. The guys on the other hand did the 'important' stuff like hunting for food, defending against predators or enemy tribes.
The solution is clear. You have to think more like a man. I believe that more than 90% of physicists are men. The subject requires clear thinking, analysing problems to strip away irrelevant detail, formulating the core of the problem in mathematical language then synthesising from these bare bones. Now isn't that like writing a novel without superfluous detail?
The trouble is physics is so exciting that the practitioners can't spare much time for writing other stuff!
I don't think I overwrite, I think I sometimes write a scene that needs trimming. I'm usually fighting to get my word count up in the end. Hmmmm what really constitutes as overwriting though. Maybe I do. Cause sometimes I will write a scene and have to cut it later to write a different scene... Maybe I can be the semi-overwriter! LOL
I can't tell a joke at all! Not from over telling but usually by forgetting the punch line :) Or some other vital part of the joke that makes it funnier.
I want to know what happens with the blonde in the bar. :)
I think I'm a combo of both. I got a crit in a contest once saying I went on and on about a dress the heroine wore, but it was a pivotal dress, a dress that had meaning throughout the book beyond the contest entry. I refuse to lose one stitch or spangle on that dress.
But mostly, I write and then re-read and layer. I'm never really done. And honestly, if I hear every single scene has to advance the plot, I'm going to puke. Sometimes a little detour is a good thing, because I believe the writer's unconscious mind leaves a little trail of breadcrumbs in even the most out-of-the-way scenes.
I think that over writing is something that is difficult for a lot of us. I know that I have a tendency to 'ramble' in a scene, adding to much detail. But then I ask myself this....Can you really have to much detail? When I read a book, I LOVE if it's detailed, I want to know everything.
But in writing, it's such a double edged sword. If you give to much, your rambling, not enough, well then obviously that's a problem. I always have the problem of not knowing what needs to be cut. I suppose that is where a super editor comes in.
When I feel like I'm over writing, I always think of my Gran. When she tells you a story about something that happened to her, she has to go through EVERYTHING that happened that day, starting with getting out of bed that morning, leading up to this one event. That can get old, although I would never tell her that. She's my Gran and I would listen to her ramble any time. (like I'm doing now? LOL)
But my point is this...I think it takes an outside POV to tell if you've overwritten a scene. I find that a lot of times, I've become to engrossed in my characters, that I want to show everything about them. Alas, I WANT to believe that the reader will appreciate them as much as I do. But where do you draw the line from good info, and to much info? *sigh* You figure it out...let me know.
I'm definitely an overwriter. But I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. I'm a big believer in better out than in. If you're thinking it and needing to write it, then write it. You can always go back later and prune (as Janga says).
I also agree with the idea that sometimes it takes someone else to point out if it's too much or not. It's really kind of funny cause I was just mulling this over last month. I read two different authors who both gave quite a bit of detail in the stories they told. One I loved the detail and the other I thought it was a waste of my time. So, I suppose the bottom line is I have no concrete answer for you. *Irish sipping a nice cold lemonade as she swings her feet sitting on the fence again*
And you know I definitely fall into the "can't tell a joke" category. Not only that but I think I've got a whole lot more in common with Amanda's Gran than I'm comfortable admitting. The DH is constantly giving me the finger across the throat signal as I'm over-explaining, over-emphasizing and basically rambling to the kids. The older I get, though, the less I see this as a problem and more of a fun way to really aggravate the self righteous males in my life.
I think I'm like Kelly and Renee. I underwrite. Sometimes it's because I assume that the reader knows things and sometimes I assume that the characters know stuff about one another that they don't.
I end up rereading and connecting the dots.
I don't think I mind overwriting in the having-extra-scenes-way, but I cringe when writers overwrite on a micro level. Usually long, flowery language leaves me meh. I'm a pretty straightforward person and I think I like my reading like that too. :) So, I end up going back through and making my sentences more concise.
Great blog Hellie - thought I'm a bit curious about the blond too *g*
I'm definitely an underwriter. Or maybe I just write in such a way that my first draft is bare-bones, and I have to go back and fill in all the details. I get the dialog and the action down in the first draft, but usually not much else. Which leads to comments from CP's like, "yes, but where *are* they?" lol. Things like setting, description, motivation, internal narrative -- all of these things I have to add later. Because really, for it to be a story, for it to suck us into its world, there has to be all that detail there. I'm just hoping I can start remembering to add it! *g*
Well, let me cure the curiosity here--and also remind Q what it really is like to think like a man:
AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino.
She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on baby.
Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed..."YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings along with her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered,
"I don't know; I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY -
Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.
The Underwriter. Occasionally I can be this way. Flowery prose doesn't cut it for me--like it doesn't cut it for Marn--however, it depends on the book or the scene.
I also tend to make my men's dialogue more 'flowery'--they are better at talking than the average man. They don't grunt and they do listen. But they are fictional, so that's my excuse.
Renee is another underwriter! Geez! I'm getting gang-banged here. *grins*
And you do know I have your DEMON COBRA MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH framed in my apartment, right? "And here you sit, procrastinating. Well, Pirate Hellie is not a procrastinator. Pirate Hellie is a writer. A doer...."
Cracks me up every time I read it.
P.S. to kelly--congrats on being on draft two! And good reminder to allow ourselves to write shitty drafts!
Janga, if I discover the cure for overwriting, I'm writing a book and going on tour to give motivational seminars. Can you imagine the money I'd make?
I fall in love with some of my scenes or lines too...I hate to part with them. It's hard to kill our babies. *LOL*
2nd: I swear you make the best pirate ever. *LOL* That has to go up on the Pirate Advice Board right there: "LIE TO YOURSELF. It's the only way you'll press on." Examples: "Of course you'll be a NYT's millionaire!" and "Of course it's going to be easy to get an agent!" When in doubt, LIE.
Q, my dear, if you don't think women are talking about politics and the weather when they're talking about their Society Club meetings, you haven't been paying attention to what they've been saying. I bet you anything their political talk would curl your PM's hair and makes him very glad he doesn't have to run against those ladies for his position. You wouldn't believe the political bullcrap women have to contend with just on the local level.
I'll give you that we don't really talk about cars a lot. Though I do like those lovely muscle American cars we have. I'd love a Dodge Charger or a Challenger. And I'm very much in love with the car that Jason Statham was driving in Transporter--but I grant you I don't know the engine or cylinders or whatever makes it go really really fast. HOWEVER, being I went on a date with a fellow who couldn't find the oil cap on his car--but I could--tells me not all men are very mechanically capable either.
And because I think you're just trying to ruffle my feminist feathers--good show, my good man--I just have to laugh that you think I need to think more like a man. I assure you I spend a lot of my day already thinking about sex. I don't know how you guys manage to get anything done if you think about sex as often as the science articles say you do.
P.S. Q--yes, writing down the bare bones of scientific theory is a lot like writing down the bare bones of a story--and probably a good device. (I'm guessing Kelly or Renee do something similiar now if they're underwriters...)
This is my second draft of the Grecian Urn story...so mainly my overwriting has to do with trying to make my second draft as brilliant as possible. I guess I don't want to think about the possibility of having to write 8 or 9 more drafts of it. *LOL*
No wonder authors don't read their own stories any more once it's finally in print.
Tiffany, you're cracking me up. Okay, you're a Middle of the Road Overwriter, okay? And I'm also guilty of forgetting some middle detail that was important to the joke. "oh, oh, wait, and there was also a camela the bar...that's important...and the camel said..."
I'm not really allowed to tell jokes to be quite honest.
Maggie said: "Sometimes a little detour is a good thing, because I believe the writer’s unconscious mind leaves a little trail of breadcrumbs in even the most out-of-the-way scenes."--
I think this is so true. I've read really wonderful scenes in books that seemed to have little to nothing to do with the story, but added so much to the character or overall to the story. It seemed like a scene that could be taken out, but in the end you realize how much it really did reveal. Sometimes you do have to trust your instinct that what you're writing is necessary and just write it.
Amanda, I love detail too...but I also tell stories like your Grandmother. *LOL* Pretty much EXACTLY like your grandmother. *LOL*
Unfortunately I can't be guaranteed the same sort of loyalty from an outside reader who just happened to pick up my book out of the goodness of their heart...
Good advice though: get an outside opinion. CPs are the best. And I also found my CPs always thought I was doing something much more brilliant in my questionable scene than I was actually doing. It's funny really. :) However, if they read it and either help you steer back to a clear path or at least clarify what you're trying to do in the scene. (Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to write my scenes blind, which is why I flail about in distress.)
I've done both. For fear of overwtiting, I usually tend to go for subtlety, especially in emotion. Sometimes I tend to use too many words. I feel like compound verb forms are one of my weaknesses.
On the other hand, sometimes there's an important distinction between "might have been" and "was," you know? Sigh. In my favor, however, I'm ALMOST done with the latest round of revisions (just have to input the changes on the last 5 chapters!) and I've really tried to change "was going to" to "would" and "was going to be able to" to "could."
But I had to add so much description that despite cutting scenes I've gained like 8000 words in revisions.
Oh, on Maggie's note on detours: definitely! I've found some of the most interesting things about my characters in "pointless" scenes. I've also had the opportunity to really add points to scenes that didn't seem to accomplish anything and make them into emotional turning points, to cut other pointless scenes that didn't reveal anything interesting, and to incorporate the things I've discovered in pointless-yet-useful scenes elsewhere.
Irish, you can join me over here in the Ramblers Club. We can ramble on and on about the minutae of our lives. *LOL*
However, I'm quite impressed by your drive to drive the males in your life insane. Go, girl power!
*LOL* I like the "Better out than in" philosophy. *LOL* I think the better out than in philosophy only works if you have something willing to come out. My problem is that I'm thinking I need this scene and can't think how to write it or what to put in it--and thus I can't move on. Whereas Terri pointed out a scene AFTER showing tension between the heroine and her best friend would be a lot better. We've already been introduced to the other characters we needed to be introduced to so I didn't need to have a scene with all of them interacting.
Marn: your love for shorter sentences is what makes your pacing so great. Me, I love longer sentences. *LOL* Usually with semi-colons in them--are we ever allowed to use semi-colons anymore? I mean, it's almost a crime to have them in writing nowadays...
Hal--*LOL*--I can write scene after scene and still have people wonder WHERE my characters are. Believe me length has nothing to do with information.
But I almost always have internal narrative. That's mother's milk to my writing. *LOL* I'm like a Walter Mitty of writers.
When in doubt - LIE! I love it!! All those rejection letters - they were just jealous of my talent. They didn't understand my genius. LAMO!!!
by the way - awesome joke *g*
Jordan: there is a big difference between "might have been" and "was".
Man, writers are nervous about everything, aren't we? *LOL*
No compounds. No long sentences. No overwriting. No underwriting....and on and on. *LOL*
It's a wonder we get up in the morning really. How do you shut off the outside voices that are always telling you what not to do?
Hal: exactly! They didn't understand your genius!
Yes, I think the "When in doubt, LIE" is definitely going on the pirate writing rules.
That joke was fabulous. Never heard that one before. I think I'll have to share it.
You know, every time you read that little speech maybe you should write, even if it is one word. I didn't write hardly anything during school. (Did I tell you I got me a C in Algebra?! No, Q don't roll your eyes, I'm seriously math challenged.) Last week was my first week off, and I wrote a lot but not everyday. I think I wrote around 6k. This week I haven't written much, but I've been plotting. Oh, today is only Tuesday, guess I'm not as behind as I thought I was. Anyway, can you try at least 100 words a day? Or maybe you just need to cut the scene. Or maybe something BIG happens at the engagement party, like the groom-to-be is caught in the broom closet, or the bride-to-be upchucks. Maybe your heroine does something totally outlandish like kick her shoe off while she's dancing breaking the chandelier. I don't know your story, JUST THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX a little. Have you taken that Book-in-a-Week class? I think it would be good for you.
Renee
Geez, have a crazy (okay, lazy) morning and everyone gets all stirred up without me. And I'm still trying to figure out if I'm being given credit for doing anything good here. LOL!
I'm a total underwriter. Very little detail, everything happening in empty rooms. My characters are lucky to have clothing on and even that doesn't always happen. ;)
I'm less a joke teller than a funny story teller. It's all in the delivery and I've had years of practicing the delivery. Hellie isn't kidding about the way she tells a story. You should see the emails I get summing up her weekend. I'm pretty sure they include the number of TP squares she used from Friday to Sunday. :)
Jordon - I'm so with you on the verbs. I cannot type a direct, action verb. Can't do it. Someone did a crit on my first three chapter onces and marked all these non-action verbs with a note saying, "Do you talk this way?" I think it was meant to wake me up and encourage me to write the way I talk, but unfortunately, I do talk that way!
It's a curse.
Terri: I totally credit you with my GOGU breakthrough (now if I'll just sit and write it--what is it with me and a need for sleep?)--and it was 87 squares over the weekend, smart ass.
Renee: Thinking outside the box is very much required. *LOL* I think part of my problem--besides not being in the grove and besides clearly not being a person who works alone without approval or input--is that I don't have imaginary deadlines for myself. I used to have CPs I'd write for. They'd always want to know what happened next and were disappointed if I didn't provide that. I'm not that excited writing for myself--which clearly is a flaw I need to work on--and much more like to entertain others. But I haven't had any writing group meetings or anything in months. And months. I'm hoping we get back into the groove of that actually...
Maybe we need to expand our little writing group a little...
Maybe you should join that VanoWrimo on twitter. Being accountable to somebody else is a definite help. I just wrote my list of goals on one of the boards I live at. It's long and daunting, and it encompasses 4 different manuscripts, but I'm feeling the crunch. I'm going to nationals and I want all my ducks in a row. It may be the only chance I get to go.
Renee
Get a kitten and sleep will be a thing of the past. *sigh*
I see official pirate reports required weekly on our horizon. Once I get this school stuff over (six weeks WHOOOHOOOO!) I'm going to need that kind of accountability too.
Renee: Good idea--I might do that--though I find it more engaging to account to a couple people and not a herd. Mainly because the herd is busy and doesn't really care about what you're writing (and being I have been part of a herd, I can say that). Being accountable to about 3 people, they ask things like, "Hey, did you write the scene about the thus-and-so?" and they sound excited. It's heartening.
Renee, you'll get to go more than once, but it is a good idea to make the most bang for your buck. :) You'll line up your ducks and you'll be great this summer!
Terri: I wouldn't adopt a kitten. If I adopted a cat, I'd get a cat because I think the older ones have more trouble being placed than a cute, fuzzy-wuzzy kitten...and the cats tend to lounge more, like me, so we have more in common.
Oooh, official Pirate Reports. I like the sound of that!
I thought you were looking for a cure for the over-sleeping. LOL! If you don't want a cure, then an older cat would be a lovely addition.
I have a paper due this Sunday which I haven't started. I could have used some official reporting accountability for that. LOL!
Ter - I've gotten that comment. Or for me, it was "Who the hell talks this way?" after a piece of a guy's dialog (obviously, it wasn't one of our excellent pirate CP's!). My response, "Uh, me and every guy I know." LOL! Maybe I just have weird friends, but I'm maintaining that she only hangs out with pansy guys, hence the comment *g*
Hal, I think you do great male dialog. Kersey *sigh*
Official pirate reports - LOL! Should we start keeping track of how many ships we hijack and how many taverns we burn down? Ports pillaged? Hottie crew men shanghied?
Lots of fun here today! :)
Hells - I have good pacing? WHo knew? LOL!!
Jordan - you added 8K in revisions? When do I get to read DotP again? I can't wait.
Ter - I remember when my cats were kitties. I swear, they would take turns dive bombing us from the chest while we slept. Damn nocturnal creatures. Now they still occasionally wake us up at like 4 AM. Many a kitty beating has been threatened at 4 AM. One of them can find the only plastic bag in the house, empty of its contents, drag it into our room and proceed to crunch on it. I don't know if you can imagine the annoying sound of plastic bag crunching at 4 AM, but it's really the most irritating noise on the planet. That cat should be happy it's made it to its 6th birthday.
he's hot, isn't he? I'm actually writing right now (shh! my boss thinks I'm animating power point for day #4 in a row). I'm trying to work up some sexual tension between them :) he's getting hotter as I type!
My early male dialog was not good. Only contest I ever entered all three judges said he sounded gay. Bryan was NOT happy about that and we have since corrected the problem. LOL!
Marn - This kitty sleep really well, all through the night curled up in a ball next to me. But his feeding clock is set at about 6am. I realize this would be a normal wake up time for most, but my alarm goes off at 6:51 then I hit snooze for about 30 minutes. I've gotten to where I get up and feed him then head back to bed. LOL!
And now I'm trying to figure out how big he'll have to get before he can a) climb to the top of my chest of drawers and b) dive bomb from there to my bed. Right now he barely comes to my ankle so I should have at least a few weeks before this behavior sets in.
*grin* Helli, I think that Irish Blonde story has mated me. No way I can respond to that!
Though not all men think alike. This is illustrated by many 'Englishman,Scotsman and Irishman' jokes. One of my favourite (printable!) ones is the pub episode:
One day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guinness.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints and got stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling: "AH BEGORRAH! SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, DAMN YE!"
Excellent Q! I spent some time in Ireland and Northern Ireland, and I swear, all we did was drink Guinness in pubs :)
I propose a lie a week, at least. We ought to have a contest...come up wit' the best lies, ever!
'Course, there always be the ones that start out as lies but come true...or ya think they be lies, but they hold a kernel a' truth. Lies serve a purpose, not always a nobel one, but sometimes...
Maggie - Yer me hero a' the day! "...if I hear every single scene has to advance the plot, I'm going to puke..." OMG! I most generously agree! With bells on!
OMG! That is hysterical!
I can only imagine what a lying contest would be like around here.
Me: I wrote ten thousand words today!
Hellie: Ha! I wrote twenty thousand!
Marn: I only wrote two hundred. (Marn would never lie.)
Hal: I moved my story to Brazil and finished it in three hours.
Sin: I killed a man today. (crew looks around nervously...)
Chance: I bought a writing craft book today.
Crew: Chance wins.
lol Ter!
Oh I think you all are up for a serious writing challenge. Nothing under 5k. I know you all can do it. And no lying, either.
Renee
Terri, if you don't stop sharing the Pirate Minutes from our personal group, nobody is going to share anymore...
Sorry, no challenges for me until July 1. Then, I'm all in. But for now, I'm out.
I am happy to report that in my business simulation challenge, my team is kicking ass. Whoot! Now, if we can just fix our inventory issues, we'll be unbeatable. LOL!
Hal, I think everyone gets pinged for their male dialogue. (Incidentally Terri's didn't sound gay because of what he said out loud, but his internal narrative. And his propensity to clutch at that necklace he wore and gaze thoughtfully out windows...) *ducks from Terri flinging rocks*
My guys always say something sexy and flattering...and intense, which never happens in real life either. And my guys like to talk. Talking is a form of foreplay for these guys. Which incidentally is what I like in my foreplay now that I think on it. Hmm. Maybe my novels are a handbook to get me into bed. Maybe Jack was right.
Whoops, sorry. ;)
I am pleased to say I'm much more like the Scotsman than the Irishman, Q. *LOL* And I'm rather disappointed by the Englishman. I mean, come on, you guys eat Steak and Kidney Pie...and the broiled tomatoes on toast. Fish out the fly and drink on!
I did appreciate your example though that not all men think alike. (I wonder what the American would have done? Flung it down and said, "I wanted a Bud Light anyway!" Would the Australian just drank it with the fly and swallowed it down in the end with a "tasty! Just like home!"? What?)
Thanks, Helli! Shitty drafts are my specialty!:) I should teach a class on it!lol.
2nd: I already lie at least once a week.
Boss: You getting a lot done?
Me: Tons.
Boss: Any problems?
Me: Not a one.
Boss: Are you drinking?
Me: Just orange juice. The vitamin C keeps me healthy, you know.
I lie every day.
Hal and Ter, I got bashed for my hero's dialogue in the one contest I ever entered.(Ter, I think we both entered this one at the same time. Long time ago...)They said my hero was boorish. Well...what guy isn't?KIDDING!lol.
The hero was boorish? Who even used that word? LOL!
I totally forgot about the necklace and the window gazing. You know, they do that sort of thing on soap operas all the time. Not that I've watched a soap opera in the last 10 years, but still.
I had to show him missing his dead fiance and thinking about her. At least I was showing instead of telling. LOL!
*LOL* No joke. And you know what? The heroine might have subconsciously found his boorish dialogue attractive. Look at Mr. Darcy--the definition of a BOOR at the beginning of P&P, but we all love him.
Besides I'm informed that boorish behavior is some sort of foreplay/reeling in the victim. I find the more insulting I am to a guy, the more he finds me attractive. I don't understand why, but the fact I don't want him makes him much more determined that I will want him sometime. And I've read clips from "men guides" where the guys tell other guys to basically be a jerk--or say something jerky--because you're far more likely to intrigue the woman to continue talking to you than if you flatter her the entire time.
Or as my friend Pam said (when I said I didn't get why this twit was still pursuing me when clearly I didn't want anything to do with him): "You like assholes. Maybe he likes them too."
LOL! I remember the necklace and gazing! But I still didn't think he seemed gay. But what the heck do I know?*shrugs*
It was very Lifetime Opera. *LOL*
Thank you, Kelly, for your support. In the new version there is no necklace so everyone should be happy. LOL! (I reserve the right to bring the necklace back at a later date.)
I still can't believe she said that. Everyone knows men love a challenge. You pose a clear challenge. It makes perfect sense.
I write at least 500 words every day.
*cough cough*
Of course you do, Marn. (Though it's likely closer to 1000 since you'd only lie if it were to make the rest of us feel better.) Didn't mean to slight you there. *g*
LOL! Oh yeah, 'boorish' was the exact word. I think that's why it has so prominently lodged itself in my brain.Ha!
You girls are so right! The jerk/challenge thing is scarily accurate.
And, Helli, your friend is so quick on the uptake! Hysterical.
Marn, you are amazing!!! Snaps for you!(Remember the 'snap cup' from Legally Blond 2? Just me?lol.)
the snap cup - LOL!
I totally remember the snap cup. *LOL*
Kelly, my friend is usually quick on the uptake. Once when I dressed as a tavern wench, I had a corset with a busk in it. The busk was essentially a block of wood. It was a VERY tight corset and my boobs were cinched under my chin. Ridiculous.
My ex-boyfriend comes up and it was during a period before he officially came out as gay and I was still trying to make him eat his heart out, so here I am with all this magnificent cleavage: and he looks down and says, "Why is there a block of wood between your breasts?"
I was so let down and taken aback I couldn't think of anything to say, but not Pam. Pam sticks her head out of the bathroom and quips, "It's so if we get cold later, we can rub her breasts together and start a fire!"
Ter - I'm so flattered you think so highly of me. :)
And the snap cup. LOL!!
Hey, I do buy help-me books. They just aren't help me write books...
More like help me figure out how to make my life better books. I read the cover, the back flap, the table of contents...and then I'm done! Most everything you need to know if in those parts anyway!
I wrote 5000 words on Monday. Really!
No one believes me when I tell the truth...sigh.
Hellion, that's hysterical!lol.
Post a Comment