The Mighty Mast
In honor of May Day and the Everlovin’ Maypole
Wink, wink…nudge, nudge…
*tra la la la la, la la la la, tra la la la la la!
“What is that annoying bit of singing?” Hellion looked up from her morning paper, glaring at the deck.
“Chance is singing something ‘bout the month of May,” Terrio replied. “She’s got our pilot up against the mast, too.”
“That makes sense, the tra la la-ing don’t.” Hellion focused on Chance, ten feet up the main mast, fastening long strands of bright colored ribbons so that they fell to the deck, pooling about the form of Deuce, naked and tied to the mast. “She’s got a naked man at the mast and she’s fussing with ribbon?”
“Said something about a maypole?” Sin loitered in the ratlines. “And dancing, something about dancing.”
The rest of the crew was drawn toward the main deck, wondering what the mad bartender was about…
Time to talk about the mighty mast, fellow crew members and guests. Today be Beltane and the prime holiday ta celebrate the male member. As a writer, I’m always lookin’ fer the right words, the right descriptions, the divine way to speak of a man’s…ahem…mast.
I shocked me mate, Lady Jane, a few weeks back when I revealed the truth. The maypole is a stand in for the prick. And the ladies dancing about the maypole be all ‘bout celebrating that appendage. She were in denial. Jane-o, yer writin’ erotica, face the facts.
When I first snuck aboard the Revenge, we was debating the Glittery Hooha. What be the secret of creating such a magnetic attraction when we write? Why do some disco queens win the glittery ball and some don’t… And is that bit… ah, woman somethin’ ta admire or not? Well, today, we got the partner ta the Hooha. Crew, I present the Maypole!
Deuce understands the importance of a compass when navigatin’ the waters a’ romance, suspense, comedy… He be a pilot, and a fine one at that.
*pant, pant
No matter what ya call it, the compass… I like that, the compass rose and the needle that dances about it. Hmmmm.
Sorry, got distracted there. I also likes the Mighty Mast, the Maypole. I be free wit’ the words I use when writin’ me pirate opus. I be fond a’ prick. And got no argument with cock…
Celebrate Beltane, crew. I be bringin’ out all the special bottles and plan on mixing a counterpart ta the Glittery Hooha. I picked me up a lovely bit a pirate swag over the years and I want ta share. I’m gonna draw a winner from the comments and send a prize yer way. I gots enough swag, I may send off several bits a’ swag.
I know it ain’t about the appendage itself, but the man behind the staff. Jus’ as it ain’t the Glittery Hooha but that woman…I hope it be ‘bout the woman. How does an author create a Mighty Mast and not make the man nothin’ more than a mighty jerk? Any favorites out there? Be fearless, it be Friday, May Day, Beltane. Celebrate the day, dance about the Maypole, figuratively or…
*Glancing at the mast, where the crew be admirin’ Deuce, teasing ‘im with the ribbon. A spell be cast, the dancin’ begins… Merry May, all!
Books by the Crew
48 comments:
I love Beltane! May Day is one of my favorite days of the year. I won't be around today, Chance but the blog was kick ass as usual. Anything that revolves around masts and naked men and ribbon or restraints makes a blog great.
Maypole dancing in rural communities used to be quite common, but little seems to happen nowadays, except perhaps a school has a celebratory party.
Good to see you resurrecting the custom Chance...and with traditional pirate flare!
I remember having dinner with a Czech academic and his wife a few years back and they were reminiscing about odd customs in Eastern Europe. His comments on the Czech army were amusing but not repeatable.I particularly remember his description of a May Day tradition though.
This involved may pole dancing after which each young man would chase the girl he fancied and spank her. Any girl who didn't get spanked became very upset!
I think there is a lot to be said for keeping up the old traditions. *grin*
Also try not to fall in the sea during the revelries. Some of the May Day rhymes supposedly reflect ancient wisdom:
"If you wash a blanket in May;
You will wash one of the family away."
"Those who bathe in May
Will soon be laid in clay"
Don't worry though. They don't stand up to scientific scrutiny!
I have to admit, I didn't see this one coming.
I take the easy way out on this one, I don't use any term if I don't have to. If I say she touched *him* in the right context, I have faith the reader knows what I mean. ;)
But I can't wait to follow this discussion.
*LOL* Leave it to Q to offer to spank us just so none of us ladies are upset. *LOL* You are the consummate gentleman, never let it be said otherwise!
And I knew the pagans always had the best damned holidays! Dancing around the Maypole indeed. (I wonder if all those Victorians/Edwardians who celebrated May Day with "pole dancing" knew what the pole really stood for when they let their little girls twine the ribbons around??)
Prick is too much of a term of an insult to me. I can't read it in context of a love scene and take it seriously. (I think Elizabeth Hoyt used it and pulled it off, but I still got pulled out a second when I saw it.) Cock works, though. *LOL* I prefer that one to pretty much any other "term", but if we're going by perference, I prefer the non-noun of "him", which as Terri said if used correctly we know exactly what's being referred to, to indicate the, er, mighty male member. (Feeling rather alliterative today.)
Sin, ya will be missed. Such a busy pirate ya be lately!
Q - Spanking...really? Me mind cannot 'elp but wonder if that be a judgement on the innate nautiness a' dancin' 'bout the maypole... Tho a rewardin' bit it could be as one be laid across a taut lap, such as the one Deuce has. Such a fine pilot!
and I agree - the pagens had the best holidays!
I end up using "him" as well, and hoping the context is enough *g*. When I'm in the male POV, I tend to throw out "cock" or "dick", cause I figure guys are more blunt in their thoughts. I'm come across a lot of references to the mighty male member (lol!) as "his sex" which always annoys me. Then again, it's also usually followed by something terrible, like "the tip of his sex glistened in the moonlight" LOL!
Happy May Day, crew!
And I didn't see this one coming either, I must admit. LOL!!
I think it depends on the POV. A virgin isn't going to be busting out with any of the more explicit terms. And a very experienced guy isn't going to dodge the issue, for sure. SO, it depends.
And thanks fer the offer a' makin' sure none a' us feel left out. Truly, a gentleman's offer. Uh huh.
Terrio! I keep ya guessin', eh? ;) Now, if me memory serves me right, ya right contemps? The language a' love be a difficult one ta master in contmpts since so much 'as been bastardized ta insult.
I be a real nut 'bout (not just what ya think...) but 'bout language. I be at the forefront a' reclaimin' words from the nasty 'ell they be consigned ta. So, I use the 'nasties' and 'ope ta see them accepted as such. But writin' pirate paranormal adventure, the words cry out ta be somewhat authentic.
I 'ave a hard time imaginin' a pirate lass considerin' 'er lovers penis. She might think a' of what a fine manly part 'e steers...
If'n touchin' "him" works fer ye, than use it ta the best a' yer ability! Many men consider it a friend and speak of it that way. Jus' as we refer ta the girls.
Cap'n... I not be the expert on this. I like the word prick and cock. Just as I prefer the words cunt and cunny.
I admits it, I be a vulgar woman. Sigh. It be a burden sometimes. Did ya know there be an actual rope term called a 'cunt splice'? Imagine that! Sailors got's ta keep entertained on those long hauls...
Tho I be likin' the comparison to a compass needle right now... :)
In agreement with all. The POV matters and really determines the language. The genre you're writing does as well. In my short Erotic Romance story, I used the words "cock" and "clit" because that's what's expected in that kind of story. But in my straight contemps, vague works so far. LOL!
Hal - I think you're right about the male POV. Did you notice how Christie Craig wrote the guy POV? She's very good at that. Guys really don't dance around (no pun intended...lol) things unless it's "Where were you until 2am last night?"
Great post! Love the maypole and all it represents :)
The one name I cannot read in a story is "his member" drives me batty. I hate that phrase. So not sexy.
2nd Chance - check out my blog and you'll find I'm pimping the Romance Writer's Revenge site for you! It's so great how could I not!
I miss you and Lady Jane already!
Sabrina
Now, dick be a word I don't like. Not sure why. And referring ta a man's mighty appendage as 'his sex'? Really! That floors me (decks me? We be on a ship afterall...)
Now, his tip glistened in the moonlight...hmmm. No, don't do it fer me either. Glisten and the mighty mast jus' don't work fer me. But as I said before, I be a vulgar woman.
Slick. That's one I like. He... No maybe I shouldna go there. It be MayDay and I figure I risked 'nuff offence taday...
Halleigh! I surprised ya, too! Ya all thought I'd be chattin' about RT?
Aye, Marnee...and there be few virgins on me pirate ship... Or on Tortuga. The gentles a' me Port Royal don't speak a' it much.
Has anyone ever read a' the counterpart a' the Glittery Hooha? Without the character bein' a real jerk? Do ya think it be possible?
I find meself irritated when historicals use 'clit'. Seems like such a clinical term and how much did the medical men really know, or care, about women's parts? Anyone know when the term were coined?
Welcome, Sabrina! We have fresh mea.....errr....a new wench!
Chance - I think it's possible. Usually a guy with confidence but not cocky. (You just can't avoid the damn puns today.)
The Bedazzled something?
Just remembered, one time an author kept referring to the head of it (and that's really all the explanation we need, right?) as his "corona". If that wasn't bad enough, it spun. But that's for another day....
Well, I wouldn't say cunt and cunny are my favorite words, but I suppose in comparision with the words: pussy (which I loathe), va-jay-jay (historically inaccurate and ridiculous to boot), and dark garden of love (seriously?), I would pick cunt any day. Cunny would be pushing it. Vagina is too technical--or well, not colorful enough. *LOL*
Cleft gets used quite a bit, I notice. Usually with the word "wet" in front of it, which admittedly is probably a more desirable image than a dry one. Still.
Oh, and I've seen the term "her sex" too--and I don't care for it any more than "his sex" especially with them both glistening in moon or candlelight. I'll back you there, Hal.
You know, the day I flip open a book and find the appropriate part is labeled a "glittery hooha"--I'm so buying it on principle.
I'm pretty sure I would refer to it as "her sex" so y'all just skip over that part.
Sabrina! Reminds me, I gots ta chat wit' ye 'bout somethin' else. Note ta self, visit Sabrina's blog later... And thanks fer pimpin' us. We embrace all avenues ta gettin' the word out...
Aye, his member. Member a' what? Has it left the legs and gone out ta join a gym? I s'pose it be a member a' his club... His club joined a club?
Imagin' if a writer used the same term ta speak a' the woman's cunny? "Her member was ripe with desire..."
Blast, wiping spit of a' me keyboard. It spun??? Where I leave me shamwow?
Me mind is paintin' an image and it ain't pretty...
Corona...his prick was a beer. OK.
;) Nah, I get the solar reference...seems like it might better be used fer the woman's loverly parts.
Bedazzled? Like the clothing decorator that fills empty space with color and pizazz? (Vision of a bedazzled prick...)
I'm runnin' out a' shamwows...
Can a man be confident 'bout his sex without 'using it?'
Now, I created a character. Lovely John. John be loved by men and women. He be confident, but not cocky. He don't sleep around but he ain't one fer total denial. Women trust him. Men trust him...
Be that the meaning a' the male Glittery Hooha? A might mast that does right by all who sail it?
*groan
*but grinnin' also!
You know, if you think about, having glitter in the hooha doesn't sound all that comfortable either. So I say we bedazzle 'em and get even.
Apparently, corona means crown in spanish? Gives new meaning to "Jack fell down and broke his crown."
Oh, it spun. I couldn't make that up.
I seen porn where they glitter up the hooha and wondered...ain't it like sand?
*grimmace
Yes, I watch porn with the DH.
Really? Glitter is harder to get out of things than sand and sand is impossible. I hope those chicks are being well compensated. LOL!
Yeah, I think POV is important when it comes to sex vocab *g*
Ter - I did notice that! CC does the male POV very well. I love that she had such deep POV's for all her characters. and of course, no mention of glistening members or "weeping pussies" (the phrase that always makes me throw a book across the room). I noticed she was doing a session or two at RWA nationals - that almost is enough to make me wish I was going!
CC does everything well. Saw her at RT. She's teaching an online class later this summer on beginnings, I think.
I do think she handles the male POV quite well. Doesn't try to force it, make it more macho than it is. But it helps that she writes nice guys. Granted, nice guys that don't always behave nice. But that's because they be guys!
She's gonna guest fer us again, right?
Yep, Christie will be here with her next release in June. I need to lock down a day for that.
Hal - I missed her workshops last year but I'm not going to miss them this time. Are you sure you can't make it? LOL!
Her workshops are a kick, really.
And Hal, I thought about it. I don't like the phrase weeping pussies either. I don't like pussy used... Not sure why. Perhaps I jus' never 'eard it done well???
Stead it's always an insult ta some other guy from a guy... Seldom read it used with love or lusty intent. Another word I must put on me wall a' reclamation...
Ah, a quite time... I be off ta walk the dog!
Me word, ya all gone so quiet...
I really be curious...anyone want to nominate a character for the Mighty Mast award? I ain't read a great deal of JE in the last few years, but I would think Ranger would fit the criteria...
Wasn't there something in CC's last one about the hero, Jason, needing extra large condoms? LOL! I nominate Jason.
And I'll add the three hero's of the Kleypas contemporaries. Gage, Hardy, and Jack. I think there's mention in all three books about doing things that might be illegal in several states. ;)
A willin'ness ta do illegal acts certainly sees them nominated wit' honors!
Not sure the extra large condoms be necessary tho. The Mighty ain't about size, it be about ability, magnetism and the like.
But ya gets another entry inta me drawing!
I'd be surprised if you could find any romance novel hero who doesn't score high in ability.
I 'member this disussion, too. Bout the extra large criteria... Granted, it will always be a part a' the romance world, but it ain't all the important ta me. It's more how ya use than what size it 'tis!
Sis recalled a book where the prick was referred ta as a "glory rod." Hee, hee. She also comments that more than likely, when she reads villain sex in the fantasy/scifi genre, it's the vilain who is challenged in the manly size department. Which is why he overcompensates be being so villainous and dastardly...rapin' and all.
I don't know. The larger he is, the more hero? I do love these debates!
I used to think size didn't matter until I dated a guy who let's say, missed the call the day they passed those out. Louisville Sluggers need not apply, but there has to be something to bring to the plate.
Something, yea. But don't have ta be super-sized.
No, I prefer to be able to walk the next day. LOL! Wouldn't want to end up with no glitter at all.
Ah, the anti-glitter stick?
Terrio...where did everyone go? Did I scare 'em off wit' me blunt tongue? I'll share Deuce, really!
I know where Sin is and I know the Captain was busy with business stuff, being the Captain can be a thankless job, but I don't know where everyone else went. We've had much more blunt conversations around here so I can't believe that's the issue. Maybe just being Friday and nice weather spreading means people are getting away from the comp.
You gots nice weather? We be dealin' wit' rain. Not that that ain't nice. We need it, but it be a bit chilly!
Well, ya hung on so I bet ya can count on some swag... ;)
It's a bitch when responsibilities of life gets in the way a' havin' fun on the ship...
Good Afternoon! or should I say evening! Sorry Revenge Crew, Im late to the party but you know, life of a lady sometimes takes it's toll! LOL! Well Chance once again, you make me shake my head, Yes, I do believe you and what you said about the May Pole, I just was trying to wrap my brain around the idea! You know me! Well hmm I could wrap myself around... well lets not go there either after all a lady never tells! Sooo... yes I agree sometimes it is hard to describe our favorite part of the male anatomy, but hey! Look how much fun we are having trying to come up with the best name for it *wink* my least favorite way I heard it described was, his most glorious sex member. What?? Who writes that stuff?? Ok, I am off to edit my erotic story... YES!!! thats right Chance I admit I did write it and got asked for a full by an editor, dang, I hope it's hot enough. Ta ta for now!
Chance, I have to say it, we didn't talk nearly enough last week, woman. I know you said something about pirates and stuff, but I never imagined...*grin*
Anyway, love the blog. What about the terms 'shaft' and 'staff'? Seems like I've read those a time or two. Makes the Maypole idea just that much more believable, doesn't it.
Lady Jane, I look forward ta how ya have yer heroine think a' 'er captain's favorite part. And, 'opefully, 'er favorite part! Seein's how yer such a lady, should be interestin'!
Kathy! Welcome aboard. No idea what I was about, eh?! Do check out the Sunday hotties, Deuce, me inspiration was a week ago...a pilot ta see me outta the tin cans of commercial aircraft. I'll fly 'im anytime.
Joystick! Yea, Deuce may like that one. Shaft and staff appeal ta me, also.
Crew, I be tallyin' up the comments and making me drawing fair. I let ya all knows who won some swag soon! Not too late ta comment all thru Saturday, BTW. I love havin' the Friday blog!
Chance said: Terrio…where did everyone go? Did I scare ‘em off wit’ me blunt tongue? I’ll share Deuce, really!
Sorry Chance, busy day. You and Terri make an awesome duo though. Perhaps the other crew took a cheap flight to Prague where they are reviving old May Day customs!
My Deuce looks happy *grin*
Now, that's a happy thought!
We had more visitors and I missed it! Dang it.
*waving to Jane-O and Kathy*
Say, Jane-O and Terrio, could we be related? Hmmmm.... Nah, no one would ever believe I was related to a real lady. ;)
Q - Prague? Makes total sense. Why didn't we think of that.
Aye, Terrio...but Jane don't answer to Jane-o all the time. I hopes she takes the voyage ta DC and meets wit' those of ya goin'. Told me DH today if the lottery comes thru fer me, I'm goin'!
Course, if'n I don't buy the tickets, it be hard ta win...
I be drawin' fer swag tomorra...
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