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Bo’sun Breaks Out the Scenes (with a little help from Donald Maass)
As was mentioned yesterday, this theme week was my suggestion. And since I haven’t had the time to actually dive into craft books, I lined up a ringer in my place (thanks again, Debra!) and got myself off the hook…until last week. I know most of you are wondering where your deep POV, heart-stopping, temperature rising prose is that you’ve come to expect on Wednesdays. Well, it’s not here. Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me today.
Now, to the task at hand. One of the first craft books I ever bought was Writing the Breakout Novel: Insider advice for taking your fiction to the next level by Donald Maass. You may recognize Mr. Maass as one of the most respected and in-demand agents in publishing, but he’s also a master of the craft. I highly recommend this book.
I obviously couldn’t discuss the entire book in one blog, so I found the topic where I need the most help – setting. In just five paragraphs, I learned an entirely new way to create setting, a new approach. When I write my first draft, I skim over setting details in order to get the story down, with the plan to add the details in the next pass. I’ve always thought of it as mentioning the color of the walls or the smell of the flowers. Maybe the sound of the birds. But that won’t make my setting *feel* like another character in my book and that’s what I’m after.
This is where psychology comes in. In chapter four, Maass explains that instead of sticking in a sentence of detail here or a bit of description there, reveal the setting through the character’s POV. Use the character’s perceptions and how the setting affects her to make that setting affect the reader.
For example, say your story opens with your heroine standing on the deck of a cruise ship. You could describe the colors of the sunset or the sound of the wind through the rails. But better yet, you can let your heroine describe the scene.
The waves rolled one after the other in an endless dance away from the lumbering vessel. There was no way to know where one ended and the other began, just as Laura could no longer determine where her anger ebbed and her sorrow rose. This cumbersome yet graceful, floating paradise was to be the setting for her honeymoon. Instead, it served as the elegantly decorated, gold-plated, luxury liner of her worst nightmare.
The setting is obviously a cruise ship, and in another character’s perception, it could be described as exciting, crowded, or relaxing. But seen through Laura’s eyes, it’s just large and empty. The endless waves represent how she feels, that her pain will never end. All of her emotions are rolling over and under each other and at times crashing together. Described in this way, the setting comes to life. It has a distinct and specific affect on the character, and hopefully, a distinct impact on the reader.
Further into chapter four, Maass reveals the secret ingredient to setting. The key element all breakout novels need to take the setting to the next level – details. The best settings that evoke real emotions and reactions from readers are those with unique and specific details. You could describe the moon as “shining brightly enough to make a flashlight unnecessary.” Or you could let your character describe the moon for you.
The moon reminded Laura of the power pole spotlight planted at the end of the cattle guard back home on the farm. The light that could have guided 747s down the front pasture or served as a beacon for passing ships hundreds
of miles away. Laura always hated that damn light.
It’s a good bet that most readers can relate to that bright streetlight that glared through their bedroom window at 2am, angled perfectly so as to shed light across the pillows in such a way so as to make it impossible to get away from it. This description invokes the feeling of irritation, annoyance, and the futility of knowing there’s nothing she can do to get away from the light, and yet I didn’t use any adjectives or adverbs. The reader can see how bright the moon is through the verbs and nouns. And the reader understands how Laura feels about the moon. This description gives specific details and is unique to this character, her perceptions and her current emotional state.
Now it’s your turn. How do you create your setting? How would you describe something from your stories without using adjectives or adverbs? Have you ever described a scene from one character’s POV only to reveal the same setting again through another character’s eyes and have it be totally different? For the readers, what authors have the best settings in your opinion? And what is your favorite setting for a book?
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35 comments:
This is a lot of food for thought but one of my favorite parts of the writing process. I've always loved setting tho I can't say I'm *good* at it. Practice, practice, practice, right?
I think it would be interesting to see a room in a house (perhaps a study) described by the heroine and then the hero. I think you could reveal a lot about someone's past depending one whose study it is and how their POV affects the description. Heroine sees the desk as organized and clean, hero sees it as precise and perfect just like his father had expected every area of his life to be... or something.
I'd really love to master a park description. Mine always seem to be so flat.
I do reveal setting through character perception! I once did a scene that was told in the beginning from my hero's POV then later from my heroines POV (in Hidden Beauty) It was essential to the characters emotions and conflict. I love setting, I love drawing the readers into a world that they can almost touch of the stretch out their hand far enough.
I have this book on my TBR... I'm not one for reading craft... Though I did read through some craft books to help me with query and synopses writing.
Great blog, Ter!
that was, 'almost touch IF THEY stretch out their hand'... lol!
Great blog! Thanks for taking my place today. We would've had to talk about scrapbooking or graphic arts tied into writing. There's a way to tie them together. (I always say where there is a will there is a way.)
Of course, that doesn't always apply to writing.
I love creating the scene. The only thing part of the scene setting I suck at is in the beginning. I find that I have a hard time finding my barrings in the beginning. Maybe because I'm just as confused as the heroine on where to begin. Do I begin at the beginning or do I just jump into it and it will all work itself out? Do I jump into a conversation or a fight or does she start out alone?
I think my favorite scene setting I've had is the beginning of AFT (which I'm probably not going to finish.. ever.) and they start out at a bar. For all of Cin's faults, she's still very naive about life in general. Those type of scenes are always the most fun to write because seeing us through the eyes of someone who's spent the majority of her life locked up as a killer pet is rather refreshing.
I usually write as I see the scene in my head. As I'm writing, it's like I'm watching a movie in my head. I can see my characters, the place they are, smell the mildew in the air, hear the water trickling down the moldy brick. A bent metal top beats against the dumpster almost to the same beat as the bar music. And it's sweltering hot.
For me, in order to write the scene, I have to feel it.
I had to post because I forgot what the question was. LOL
Hm, description of my characters without adjectives or adverbs. I have no idea. I'm not that creative.
And YES to the POV. Since I work through the eyes of only one character, you tend to find out more than you bargained for in regards to everyone else. You can just tell by the way the other character reacts to your FPPOV. I find myself paying more attention to others around me and how they react to get a grip on human emotions.
And Happy Administrative Professionals day.
Sorry, I'm late! Dang accident on the interstate turned my 20 minute drive into an hour drive. Grrr....
Steph - Practice is right! And that's exactly it, revealing something about the characters through the setting, but more so revealing the setting through the characters. For instance, you want to make the study spooky to the reader, then you could show it through the heroine's eyes and have it remind her of the utter black of the basement of the orphanage in which she grew up. Have her remember some legendary story about a former janitor killing pigs down there or something. In this way, you reveal the setting but also evoke that creepy feeling for the readers.
Thanks, Tiff! And we knew exactly what you meant. :)
Yes, revealing the scene through the two different POV's is such a cool way to go. I've always been prone to state facts - the walls were blue, the desk scarred, the chair squeaked. But instead I could see through room through the heroine including how the deep blue of the walls reminds her of her grandmother's eyes, the always calm and reassuring eyes of love. That not only tells the reader the walls are blue, but that the heroine feels safe and calm in that room.
These amazing little tidbits I learned in three pages, imagine if we read the entire book! LOL!
Sin - No problemo! If I hadn't offered to do this, I'd never have looked this stuff up and I'm really having fun with it.
I think knowing exactly where to start the story is one of the most difficult things about writing. Think about it, there are ENDLESS possibilities. And we're bombarding with things like "hook the reader right away!" and "an editor will put it down if you don't hook her in the first paragraph!" Who can handle that kind of pressure?!
What you excel at is where I lack completely. I see the scene through my eyes, as am omniscient observer and then give the description as a list of facts. Color, sound, smell, touch. But I rarely tie those things to my characters and their perceptions. Almost never their emotions. I realize I'm much more excited about this concept than I should be, but I feel like a kid with a new toy. LOL!
And it's my day?! I had no idea. Too bad my boss is out of town. :(
Neither has my boss and I even put a reminder on his calendar.
My boss didn't do anything for me last year, I think they've all pretended not to know about it here. LOL! We should have sent each other flowers.
He'll remember within the next few days. He always remembers and then bickers at me for not reminding him. I always tell him it's not my job to remind you about a day in which you should celebrate all the shit that I do for you on a daily basis.
Next year, I will remember to send you flowers because you deserve recognition of all the hard work that you do babe. :)
That's funny. Remind me to appreciate you. WTF?!
Thank you, my dear. I'm glad someone sees how worthy I am.
Oh, and it's Earth Day, I believe. So go hug a tree!
I know. He's like that. He doesn't have half a brain and neither do I. Probably because I have to remember all my shit and his too.
Great blog Ter! :)
The old, get rid of adjectives and adverbs argument, huh? I think that the way to describe places without them is to lean on things people do know. Like if you say a bedroom looks like a teenage girl got ready for school in it, well, most of us have an idea of what that looks like.
Or if you say that a car smells like a hockey locker room, well, as much as that makes me cringe, I know exactly what that smells like.
And I think what helps get rid of adjectives and adverbs is using really strong verbs.
Like, kicked. Punched. Killed. :)
Happy Administrative Professionals Day! You all deserve flowers today!
And Happy Earth Day!
Oh man, Marn, don't get me started on the "no adverbs/adjectives" rule in description. I was joking about this with another writer friend the other day, and I ended up with this description: "He had eyes, nose and a mouth."
Makes you want to eat him up with a spoon, doesn't it? ;) I just love someone with all their features...
But seriously, this blog has made me pull out my copy of Maass's book (which, unfortunately, I haven't had time to read since I bought) to read this chapter since it really is something I could work on. Excellent advice!
Marn - That's my other weakness, strong verbs. LOL! But if I can learn this much from three pages, I'm feeling pretty good about my ability to pick up skills upon more study.
And those are very similar to the examples Maass uses. I guess it's the idea of using metaphors to get a message across. Or analogy. To say the motorcycle is noisy tells the reader what it is, but to say the motorcycle could rival a lear jet on take off shows them.
With this little tip on setting we've managed to bring in character development, emotion, and now showing instead of telling. I couldn't have planned all that if I tried. LOL!
Sin - Nice. LOL!
Marn/Jordan - I'd never actually heard the "get rid of adjectives/adverbs" one. If I did, I've blocked it out. LOL! I'm still scarred from the "NEVER use the word 'was'!" one.
I'm glad I inspired you to check out the book, Jordan. I've gotten so much out of the brief glances I've been able to give it, I'm psyched about what I'll get out of an in depth study.
I guess I could've said, licked, scratched, moaned. Apparently we know where my mind tends to go first. LOL
*LOL at Jordan's "eyes nose and mouth" comment* Yes, I like a man with all his features as well! I've got to get me one of those!
I'm like the worst at setting. I think I try to write setting through my character, tie it to character, because then you're double-teaming your words. They serve as setting, but also character description--and also the emotion and tone of the scene. Everyone pulls their own weight...it's great.
I honestly don't have a lot of scenes where I describe WHERE they are. I describe what they're doing, perhaps, but most of my stuff takes place in a white room.
I am reading Lisa Cooke's Texas Hold Him, and she describes the steamboat in a way that I read twice, marveling at her description. It was dead on and a pretty phrasing.
Ter—Don't drink the trendy writing koolaid. Okay, just yesterday (well, today, but it was posted yesterday) I read an article from an author who said "I had an editor tell me—in a personal conversation, not in an “official” manner—that she actually missed seeing an occasional “was” in the manuscripts submitted to her." ( http://kayedacus.com/2009/04/21/make-pov-work-for-you-dispelling-a-few-pov-myths/ )
Powerful writing doesn't mean adhering to ever rule and rumored rule we can find! Even verbs get tired ;) .
I think we have to be careful about analogies, though, because that's how clichés get started.
Jordan - I don't subscribe to the NO 'was's' rule. Some things happened in the past and they have to be told that way. But boy that one stopped me up for a while.
Yes, the analogies can lead to cliches which makes it harder to find new analogies. But when using them in setting, I think the cliche is less likely. To use Marn's example, to describe a car smelling like a hockey locker room gives a clear impression to the reader, without using adjectives, but also not using a phrase that is common or cliche.
Describing people is another story. That's where cliche central can happen. Hence the "eyes, nose and mouth" result.
Sin - We're all right there with you so you're in good company. :)
Hellie - All of my action happens in blank rooms or imaginary stairwells. And I doubt I'll employ all this in my first draft, but I'm hoping some will come through so there's less to do in the second (and third, and fourth) pass.
And I'm loving that one or two turns of a phrase can do so much work. In my organized little brain *snort* I always think of one sentence to do each job. One to describe, one to emote, one to speak, one to reveal. The idea that one sentence and do it all makes me giddy! LOL!
*LOL* Can we start bandying about that phrase? "Don't be drinking the trendy writing kool-aid?"
I'm sure Chance will turn that into a drink as soon as she gets back. LOL!
Anyone think of a book they've read where the setting was absolutely a character in the book? I'm thinking of Pat Conroy's Beach Music and how he made South Carolina come to life. Now I realize that was because he revealed the setting by describing how the protag felt about it instead of focusing on the visual details. The affect coming back to that area had on the protag gave it the power.
Jordan always cracks me up. :) Eyes nose mouth.... Yikes, it appears we all like similar things in our men!! Who knew?!
Honestly, I think that it's like everything else, in moderation. The occasional adverb/adjective is fine; an entire paragraph with every adverb/adjective Webster knows, well, not so fine. The occasional was, fine. A complete page of every sentence of was's, well... you get the point.
As a reader I prefer when authors mix it up. Sentence structure, etc. And use them for the best impact. Short sentences give huge power. But I love a paragraph of beautiful description, now and again.
Marn - You'd think one of us would be willing to take a man without...say...a nose. LOL! But no!
To be fair, this chapter wasn't really preaching to eliminate the adverb/adjectives. It focused more on showing that people usually have more of a relationship with things and not descriptions. The moon compared to a bright street light is more powerful because the reader has a relationship with that object. I don't necessarily have a relationship with the word "bright".
Because most of you are always writing, this stuff probably feels like common sense, but because I'm away from it, this was an aha! moment for me. I wasn't making the connection with things over colors or sizes. Basically, I didn't realize how almost easy it is to use these elements to make connections. Connections to feelings and memories and emotions.
I'm not surprised that you mentioned Conroy, Terri. I think most good Southern writers who use the South as setting are skilled at creating a sense of place. Deborah Smith is wonderful with setting; so is Karen White. Just to prove that my regional chauvinism does not blind me to effective use of setting from outside the South, Lisa Kelypas and Loretta Chase evocatively tie their characters to place.
I also think writers like Robyn Carr, Susan Wiggs, and Debbie Macomber who create communities for a group of characters use setting to great purpose. Since I want to do what they do, I pay a lot of attention to setting. I'll have to go through TLWH again with Maas' advice in mind to see how I did. Here's one sample. Warning! Adjectives and adverbs ahead--and it will take a persuasive argument to convince me to cut them.
"The day was heating up. It was going to be a warm one for mid-May. The view from the deck of the Phoenix Park cottage lived up to the promise of the web site photographs. Azaleas in varieties Max didn’t even know existed bloomed in a profusion of reds, pinks, fuchsias, purples, and white. Max wondered idly if anyone had ever filmed a video here. It was an idea worth checking out. He’d put Mowgli on it. Reality struck a painful blow. The anguish of his best friend’s death ripped through him yet again."
Janga - The Southern writers do stand out in this area, but to be fair, I think most Southern towns come with their own inate personality which makes it a bit easier to give them life on paper. Not that other places don't, but it's so obvious in the south.
And your adjectives are always welcome! LOL! But, and this is just a suggestion for today's topic, what if you added one sentence that changed all that color to a black & white picture at the moment reality hits. The elimination of all color *shows* the reader how he feels with his best friend gone.
I'm feeling incredibly shallow now for insisting my men have eyes, nose and a mouth. (I'm assuming the ears aren't optional either. I rather like ears.)
My guess is everything except one particular thing is optional...
*blinking* What would that be? Intelligence? Or Money?
Writing setting is hard for me. I know it's an important element of a story but I get lost in finding out about the characters I'm writing about via their interaction with other characters and not the world around them.
This minimalist movement in writing is daunting for me. My last career before I became a writer was in instructional design. Minimalism was the name of the game but all my favorite authors evoked such marvelous imagry with their words that I really had to work at writing in a more descriptive manner. This swing of the writing pengelum towards a less is more approach has my head spinning of late.
I'd add Maas' book to my TBR pile but it's already there along with Chris Volger's (sp) and Stephen King's book. Now all I need to add is Anne LaMott's Bird by Bird.
*ignoring Hellie so as not to get into trouble*
Santa - I lean toward minimalist writing which is ironic since I talk enough for ten people. One of the examples that Maass uses in the book (the examples here are merely my own attempts) is very long and beautiful, so I don't think you have to be minimal in this. It's more about using means of description that evoke a relationship or emotion, be it four sentences long or just one. Basically, the devil is in the details. LOL!
Someday we're going to get to all these books we have sitting around. Someday...
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