If you checked out the Hottie blog yesterday, you may have noticed I said we have several reasons to celebrate this week and then only named two. I left one major reason out in order to keep today a surprise. Today we are celebrating THE CAPTAIN’S BIRTHDAY!!!
Her official birthday is Wednesday, but as things often go around here, we kind of forgot (*cough*Sin forgot*cough*) and scheduled a guest blogger. Not that we aren’t uber-excited to welcome new author Miranda Neville to the ship, but we couldn’t let the Captain’s birthday go without a party. Come on, she’s the freaking Captain. We have to celebrate.
So today is all about the Captain. The Hellish one, herself. We have rivers of rum, a plethora of pirates, and hammocks full of Hotties. Of course, we couldn’t throw this party without Hellion’s inspiration and partner in crime, Jack Sparrow. I had to keep him loaded up on extra rations of rum just so he wouldn’t spoil the surprise. She has this way of making him talk. Right after she makes it so he can’t talk.
I also invited Ms. Rowling, but she couldn’t fit us into her schedule. So she sent Harry instead. If anyone wants to whine about the movie release date being pushed back or beg for some tidbit about how much of the last book will make it onscreen, see Daniel in the corner.
Throw in some roaming eye candy, tie a bungee cord to the Crow’s Nest (who’s first?!), and spin some AC/DC and Def Leppard music and this party is under way. What is your favorite Hellion blog? Is there one bit of brilliance that stands out from the rest for you? Or is it too hard to pin down only one? Today is Captain Hellie Day. Bring on the HooHas!!!
PS: 2nd Chance wanted to offer up a present of her own, so here she is presenting a lovely little passel of Hotties all ready to go. Isn't she the cutest thing?! Who wants to unwrap the presents?
67 comments:
Happy freakin' b-day, Cap'n! Enjoy the hotties, they be a luscious bunch...
I ain't been aboard long, but I found the Capn's blog 'bout the compass points of a story ta be pure inspirin'!
Cap'n, ya ever toss Jack out... (I won't touch without permission, I swear!)
Is Hugh comin'?
Happy Birthday, Hellion!!!! A little something, something for your birthday:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtDYT2XfRLE&feature=related
May your birthday be filled with rum, pirates, and lots of presents.
And my place in hell is firmly cemented w/ this. Definitely not safe for work environment.
http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2007/2/harrry_full.jpg
http://images.hollywoodgrind.com:9000/images/2007/2/daniel-radcliffe-equis-butt_nsfw.jpg
Happy Birthday Helli!
I was chatting with Jack in the bar last night and he suggested that you might like this:
You are pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
You feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't you tonight.
You feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming you feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe You're real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty you!
You feel stunning
And entrancing,
Always running and dancing for joy,
For You're loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
You feel dizzy,
You feel sunny,
You feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
See the pretty girl in that mirror there
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty you!
You feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For You're loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!
Hope you have a wonderful day :D
The sea-tossed bottle rolled to shore. The rum had been drunk long ago. Within was a faded parchment, its edges curled and crumbling.A secret message! Eagerly, the captain popped the cork, removed the papere and frowned. The mysterious words, surely a key to hidden treasure, swam before her eyes.
Hellion hellion bo bellion banana fanna fo fellion me my mo mellion, Hellion.
"WTF?" she cried. "I wanted presents! Poetry! Praise! Not some lame lyrics from when I wasn't even born!" She grabbed her cutlass and cut the paper to ribbons, watching them waft in the wind.
Jack stepped back hastily, minding his privates from her sharp blade. She wanted them, too, and not only because they began with a P. "But Hellie, luv,now we'll never know where to dig."
Hellion thought for a second. What did she need buried treasure for? She had wit. Wisdom. Warmth. Womanly curves. Wonderful crewmates. Water all around, far as the eye could see. She grinned. "C'mon, Jack. We don't need no stinkin' map. We've already got it all. And what we don't have, we either don't need or will get eventually."
"You are a pearl of rare price," Jack purred. "Pure. Perfect. Possibly the cleverest person of my acquaintance. Let's party!"
Hellion had no objection. "A private pirate party!Just you, me, the RWR crew, and all our faithful readers. But," she said, looking at Jack sternly, "you will not give that kid Harry any rum. He might take off all his clothes and kill the horses."
Jack kissed her hand, and then someplace else. "Don't worry, my treasure. This will be the most delightful day of your life. Happy birthday, Hellion!"
Happy Birthday Hellion!
You know there are some great pics of HP from Equus. *w* I'll have to send them privately since they are not PG rated!
Tiff, I linked to those photos but my other comment lurks, awaiting moderation.
Welcome to the party, everyone!
Chance - I wouldn't hold my breath for Jack, and I'm sure Hugh will be here, he just needs to recover from last night.
Ely - I took care of the comment. I almost used a pic with the horse, but it was skeaving me out. LOL! I felt like a total perv and couldn't go there. I might try to check out your links....later. :)
Q - What a great song! Fits our Captain fine and dandy, it does. And that twirl on your toes you did in the second verse really set it off.
A very Happy Birthday! Captain Hellion!! May all your "DREAMS" come true! LOL!
Hmmm... dont you wonder where that gents hand is in Chances picture, haawwaaaa!!
Maggs - Thanks for shooting my blog right out of the water. LOL! I bow to you, oh queen of alliteration. *curtsies and nearly blows out a knee*
Tippin' me cup to ye, Cap'n! Ah-har! Happy Birthday to ye! (Be kind enough to pass along Jack when ye're done with 'em.) :D
2nd: Thank you for that delightful picture of the additional hotties (they're really good about refreshing my rum glass--excellent service). You can never have too many hotties!
Ely: I love me some Daniel Radcliffe, even if it makes me Mrs. Robinson. *LOL* (Different from Mags, I mean, I mean the SONG Mrs. Robinson...)
You always bring the best presents!
You guys always know what I like: hot naked men. :)
Q--*kiss*--my favorite hottie on this ship! Thank you for that song; and I have to agree: that little toe twirl you did in the second stanza really set it off. I don't even want to know how you convinced Jack to wear a tutu to perform the duet with you.
*clapping* More scotch for Q! He's parched from his singing!
Maggie: *grins* I'm so glad you spoke out for my most passionate environmental topic: horse killing. I am hoping Daniel Radcliffe will join the campaign against the needless slaughter of these beautiful animals. At least I hope he's reading my letters, at any rate. :)
But me on an island with Jack...and no folders? Now THAT is a birthday present worth getting excited about! Woohoo!
Happy Birthday Hellie!!! :)
29?
Maggie, Brilliant!!
Thank you, Tiff: feel free to send the HP naked hottie pictures again. You can never have too many of those. *LOL*
Terri: Thank you for the Birthday Blog! :) You always find the best pictures. (That's a good picture of Jack. *sighs*)
BTW, there are 143.5 days left until Harry Potter 6 comes to the theaters. Or 21 weeks. Or not quite 5 months. Not that I'm counting still.
And I was trying to think of my favorite Hellion post and I couldn't think of just one. I loved her box one of a couple weeks ago....
Thank you, Lady Jane. (And no, I think we're all pretty certain where that gentleman's hand is in the 2nd Chance picture...and that's why she makes such an excellent pirate!)
Kathy, my best mate!--I haven't seen you lately--how have you been? I would loan you Jack, but when I'm done with him, he's not in any condition to be of much use to anyone else. *wicked grin*
I missed Tiff. I know Tiff has a great stash of pictures. If she pulls those out, this may turn into the BEST PARTY EVER! LOL!
Bout time the birthday girl arrived. ;)
It is hard to pin down one favorite blog from Hellion. Her parodies are always such fun. I just love how she always manages to say something in such a way that no one else would come up with. We don't refer to her as bloody brilliant for nothing. LOL!
Marnee: Of COURSE, 29. Thank you! :)
KATHY!! *running across the desk* (which is not easy in 5 inch FMPs) Missed you darlin'!
Hells, you may not have your birthday present from me until Wednesday. You best be around for me to give it to you. Or I will keep it for myself. LOL
Happy happy birthday to you! I'd sing, but I don't want to scare the hotties away.
Ahoy, Hellion! I've been landlocked but found a good wind. With luck of the brotherhood, I'm finally able to attend ye.
Not willing to share Jack? These are fightin' words! Thankfully, these come from not just any other pirate wench but a stylish Cap'n, so I'll give ye the day. But tomorrow, Hellion... well now... ye're mind is unhinged if ye be thinkin' I won't challenge ye for me rightful share. ;D
Sin, I'm going to be gone Wednesday. I'm getting a 2 hour full-body massage (no, not from Jack. A real one: Jack gets distracted when he has to give massages.)
BTW, we need to have a meeting soon. I move to town and we meet even LESS than when I lived in the boondocks? How did that work out?
A problem for whom? LOL!
Kathy, Kathy, it's not that I'm not willing to share. It's that Jack will not be up for the task. He's too tired. I'm too insatiable. It's a problem.
I was off trying to find a trailer for Public Enemies and missed Kathy! How ya doin, Bones? Where've ye been. Landlocked, ya say. That's the worst for a sea-faring wench like yerself. Good ta see ye've made yer escape. LOL!
I'll buy a ticket for that Jack challenge!
Orr, Sin! How ye be? Don't be breakin' an ankle, dearie, on my account! But, I admit, 'tis good to be missed. Thanks for the hearty welcome. ;D
Terrio, ye rumpot! How ye be? A challenge worth the bettin, eh? Are ye sure Jack's up to it? ;D
Cap'n, I know ye be the sharin' sort. Try to leave somethin' left for me, ye scallywag. After all, tomorrow is another day!
Happy Birthday Hellion! I'd say have a great day....but with all these hotties floating around, it'd be impossible not too.
*off to go try to steal one you haven't noticed yet....*
*patiently waiting for Jack to have his way with Hellie*
Happy Birthday Cap'n!!!!!!
Roses are red
Violets are Blue
You're the best damn Cap'n Eva!
And a kickass writer too
Muah!
Kathy - I'm not betting on either of ya, I'm just willing to buy a ticket to watch. :)
Hal - You've got to be quick around here. Luckily, we keep the Hottie supplied almost as stocked as the bar.
Lisa - Ode to Capt'n. I love it!
Oh my Q, what a lovely singing voice you have! I don’t think that I’ve heard a man hit a note that high since I accidentally elbowed my DH in the … ballsy comment awaiting moderation, Elysssa? I can hardly wait to read it! Maggie, brilliant creature that you are, I must agree with your assessment of Our Dear Captain. She is indeed “Pure. Perfect. Possibly the cleverest person of my acquaintance” too.
My fav blog? Gosh what blog by Hellion Isn’t good? If I had to pick one I’d choose the Mary Poppins Parody. Made me Think. And Laugh!
I hope that you had wonderful Birthday celebration. And I sincerely wish that every day is a Celebration … an Affirmation of the Wonderfulness that is you!
Here. I bought you a bottle of body massage oil. You can have Jack slather your body down. Or you can gargle with it …. that Should make my compliments easier for you to swallow!
Not that I wasn’t Serious in my sincerity m’dear.
Happy Birthday, Hellion!
Oh. I have one more question/comment before I get thrown overboard…
When asked if she would ever get married Hellion wrote “Hell would freeze over.”
“ Hellion Are you tempting fate ? Or is there something that you want to tell us? I mean Really… cus we had One Hell of a Blizzard the day after you posted that comment!” asked the woman who swore that She would never get hitched
I can't wait to see the answer to this one. But Julie has a point, it has been rather cold around here.
Jules, I never said I would never get married. I just said if I did, Hell would freeze over and thus everyone would *know*.
And just because you guys are suffering from cold weather does not mean I'm secretly married over here. Geez.
Thank you, Jules for the well-wishes, and I have to say you're as good a bullshit artist as the guy I'm dating. Though he assures me he's sincere in his bullshit; and I imagine you're the same. *LOL* (I don't come from a family who takes compliments well. Come to think of it, we don't take criticism well either. It's really better if we just don't talk.)
I'm fond of my Mary Poppins blog too. It was fun harassing Mary Poppins!
Hal, if you're going to steal one, try to take one of the ones with no-necks. I don't miss them. (Terri might though! Be careful!)
I love it when me own crew pillages the ship. It's fun.
Lisa: *wiping away tears with lace hanky* I love poetry. That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you, thank you. I might lend you Jack a full day earlier than Kathy (she didn't write me poetry, you know)
I love Birthdays! As People Get Older ... you can talk about more Mature Subjects. Like...
You don't take compliments very well?
And you don't handle criticism very well either? Ooohhhhh... well then I guess that it was Good that I didn't blame Global warming on your Sex Life! LMAO
*LOL*
That's not the sort of criticism that bothers me.
No one can top Dad in the criticism department.
"This chili is almost good enough to serve in a restuarant." ALMOST.
"How do I like the dress? I think you look like mutton dressed as lamb." (I was mid-twenties, top. Dress is something a "lamb" would not have been caught in.)
*pointing to my great-niece who I have on my hip at the last reunion, then at my niece who is SKINNY thin* "She must be loving that. That's like going from sleeping on the floor to sleeping on a featherbed." Which is really a slap in the face to me and my niece.
Hey! I brought a boat load of hotties wit' me! Don't I get me chance at Jack, first?
Q - Ya be a scientist...where be the Jack clones we ordered?
I be lookin' fer this Mary Poppins parody...pirotty? Paroty? I needs more rum... Been without power most of the last 24 hours. Knew that pole at the bottom a' the driveway was goin' ta go one a these days! Yesterday was the day!
Everlastin' 29! Here, here!
Ahem, where them hands be is no one's business but mine!
Happy Birthday, Hellion! Have a fantastic early-party day!
Duty calls, but I will return later with my gift.
I should be keel-hauled for me insolence. Battin' down the hatches.... saluting ye now, Cap'n, with ye ode!
Cap'n Hellion's crew draws near
With many P's well placed
To celebrate another year, me dear
And leadership ye have aced.
Yet, drawn to rum laced Cap'n ye be
Darkly seductive when into his cups
Remarkably adept, cunning, savvy
At making us think he's nuts.
Never ye fear on this day of days
Of tiring Jack's lusty pace, Cap'n
When the day winds down and he's not around
Ye'll find 'em in me own cabin.
:D
Oh my, Chance. Don't you hate it when the pole fails you like that? *blinks innocently* What?
Janga - I can't wait!
Kathy - *clapping furiously* Bravo!!!
*clapping* I second the Bo'sun, Kathy. Bravo!!
Janga: *bouncing* You're coming back with GIFTS? I can't wait!
I'm pleased to me 'Bones', Cap'n and Terrio! 'Twas jest a little diddy I came up with while swabbing the deck, literally. :D
Second, You ordered clones of Jack Sparrow??
Well I got a sample of his DNA at the bar last night. Had to use trickery though.
I left my pint of rum on the bar while I went to the gents....where are the gents by the way?!....and to tempt Jack I left a note saying "I have spit in this rum". When I got back there was another note from Jack saying "So have I". So he fell for it. :evil:
Well thinking of booze, perhaps a toast is in order.
Glasses at the ready me mateys
Here is to our captain, a rogue unmatched.
She's a pirate through and through
She's been up to Heaven and down to Hell
Where the devil did she get this brew!
Bottoms up and down the hatch
Happy Birthday, Captain!!
Hope this is your best one yet!!
Hmm, favorite blog is difficult, there's the compass one, the Mary Poppins one, or even the one where you compare writing to The Wizard of Oz. You have offered too many gems of wisdom to choose just one.
Hoisting my tankard of rum in your honor.
Di
Huzzah! *lifts tankard and drains her rum*
Di - There are so many, aren't there? The Wizard of Oz one was truly inspired. But the compass one is so precise and fits writing so well. I kind of think the Thanksgiving one was one of our best and though we all had a hand in it, it was purely Captain's inspiration.
Happiest of birthdays, Captain, O Captain! May your day be filled with rum and your nights with a nice bum.
Q! - Brilliant! Course he'd spit in it... I be rubbin' me 'ands in antici-pation!
Wait, it be a rum soaked bit a' DNA...hmmm. Might improve 'im! If'n that's possible, course, Cap'n.
I be off gettin' ya more scotch, Q.
Ter - Yer right, nothin' worse than a cracked pole in the middle a' the night!
Think a' all that loverly OT they all be gettin'! I could use some a' that lucre! I still be out wanderin'...blocked from me own house. Hurumph.
Rum & Bum? Santa! OMG, you Wild Thing, you!
2nd, don't cha think that R & B sounds like a new drink?
Oh, I'm late! Oh well, maybe Helli will see this tomorrow.
Hellion (opening speech): It seems fitting that on the auspicious occasion of my 21st (looking innocent) birthday, I share with you the story of my aspirations. I’ve asked for a little help from some friends. (clears throat)
Hellion (singing): When I was just a lass looking for my true vocation
My dear muse said "Now, child, this choice deserves consideration.
Though you could be a teacher or perhaps a lazy slob,
My dear, why not consider a far more fulfilling job?
Pirates: Hey ho ho
Your dream be far from tame,
And you'll keep your mind and body safe
By working out your brain.
Hellion: True friendship and love stories are what we can't live without
All: And when you're an aspiring writer,
Terri: That's what the job's about.
Hellion: "Upstage, friends, this is my fav’rite number!"
Now take one Kenyon, the elite all despise her,
But to her readers she's a wonder and they idolize her.
It's how you look at writers that makes them bad or good,
And I see us as members of a worthy sisterhood.
Pirates: Hey ho ho
We're clever wenches,
And we know what’s due our readers. All our covers will boast clinches.
Hellion: On occasion there may be someone we have to maim or stress.
All: But when you’re an aspiring writer
Chance: You don't have to wear a dress..... what?
Sin: I could have been a dentist;
I like characters in pain.
Marnee: I could have been a teacher,
but I prefer staying sane.
Terri: I could have been in politics
Cause my memory is selective.
Lisa: And me...I could have been a detective.
Hellion: Some say that romance is glib and the books should be x-rated;
I say we're victims of dull snobs whose souls are constipated.
We'd never steal your best idea; we'd never act like crooks.
We're just about the nicest ones who ever wrote such books.
All: Hey ho ho
It's one for all, and all for one.
And we'll share and share alike with you; we’ll even share our rum.
We're writers of love stories and that's what we're proud to be,
And when you’re an aspiring writer,
Hellion: You'll be smart and cool—like me,
Bestseller soon to be.
You'll be steady and true, queen of billet-doux.
And most importantly
All: When you're an aspiring writer,
You're always in the best of company.
Written in honor of Hellion’s birthday 2009 by Janga, with apologies to the Muppets and “Professional Pirates”
Oh...professional pirates... Hmmm. As opposed to unprofessional pirates?
Now, what would unprofessional pirates be about?
Rum&Bum, you got it Julie! Brilliant, again! (Must be me favorite word today.)
Janga...I like wearin' dresses...jes don't like the pettycoats! But it were brilliant, too!
We all be brilliant today, reflectin' the most brilliant brilliance a' Cap'n Hellion!
*LOL* Janga, that was just brilliant! *LOL* Can we all sing that at RWA? I could totally see it happening. We should probably ask the muppets to help. (I've always had a crush on Kermit, you know, scrawny and brainy.)
*clapping* That was just wonderful! Thank you!
Di, my pet, how have you been? (Not to stroke my own plume, but Wizard of Oz was one of my favorites too. Which reminds me, I had an idea about the cowardly lion as a blog...)
Thanks for coming by and sharing in the birthday festivities. :)
Oooohhhh Janga, BRAVO!
I'm an Unprofessional Pirate, 2nd.
You know the type. I can't type. Can't spell. And to me a "hanging particle isn't an English grammar thingie. Its a piece of spinach stuck between your teeth. Ug.
A hangin' particle!? Thought that were an unlucky scalawag swingin' from the yardarm...
Jus' cause me degree says Language and Literature don't mean beans ta me knowin' English grammar...grammer...? rules. Obviously.
Happy Birthday, Hellion!
Awesome birthday gifts - you guys are inspiring!
And forget about that 29 crap! I swear it gets better as you get older!
Gotta run... enjoy your day and your full body massage - I'm getting one too in honor of your birthday *g*
Ho Ho, Janga! Superb!!
A hangin' particle or a hanging barnicle? ;P
Oh, Janga, that was truly inspirational! Thank you everyone for coming out to celebrate Captain's birthday. We definitely have the best company here on this ship!
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