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Murphy's Law Equals No Shower Curtain
This weekend my chapter, Chesapeake Romance Writers, teamed with the Virginia Romance Writers of Richmond for a joint conference. As Conference Chair for my group, I had the privilege of planning the conference with Best Selling author, Cathy Maxwell. (Excuse me while I pick up that name. Sorry.)
The planning started back in the spring and to say I'm relieved it's over is an understatement. Not that I regret doing it or that I didn't have a great time, but man that was a lot of work. In a moment of insanity, I took on the position of registrar so my work doubled in an instant. My goal was to have all attendees pre-registered before the day of the event. My chapter was skeptical I could pull this off, but I'm happy to report I did. Our goal was sixty attendees and thankfully, we hit sixty-two. Mission accomplished!
Our speaker was the incredible Debra Dixon and if you ever have the opportunity to attend one of her workshops, GO. I cannot say that often or loud enough. And since Ms. Dixon and I have found that we are long lost sisters, if you go, tell her Terri said hi.
There was obviously all kinds of craft and industry things discussed and I promise to blog on those once I get my feet back on the ground and more sleep on my done list, but today, we're going to talk about the crazy things that only happen to me.
So I send Deb Dixon a picture of myself so she'll recognize me when I pick her up at the airport. Then, on a whim, I color my hair the night before she arrives. In the picture, my hair is light brown with blonde highlights. As I type this, my hair is almost black. I kid you not. So when I finally walk up to Deb, the first thing she says is, "You don't have blonde hair!" Yeah, great start.
Luckily, she thought it was funny, forgave me pretty quick, and we set out into five o'clock traffic on a Friday. Two hours later we completed the forty-five minute drive. We made it just in time for dinner which was great once we got to the restaurant. I might have taken a couple of wrong turns. The problem was, I've walked Williamsburg during the day. Never driven it at night. But we got there….eventually. And only had to park two hundred miles away so that's not too bad.
Exhausted, I crashed as soon as I returned to the hotel. My mistake was waking up at 2 am to take care of business. For some reason, I could not fall back to sleep. Between the worry about the next day, the life stuff back at home, and the snoring on the other side of the room (love you Bev!), sleep wasn't coming back. I listened to the iPod, checked email on my cell phone, tossed for about two hours. Still nothing.
When the alarm went off at 6:30am, I wondered how angry Cathy would be if I called in sick. Since I know Cathy was an officer in the Navy and would likely kick my arse, I headed for the bathroom. Here's where the strangeness doubled. I turn around to start the shower and realize something looked odd. There was the tub. The new fangled curved shower bar. The little rug and the complimentary bar of soap. Then I realized, there was no curtain. No. Curtain.
This is how tired I was. I actually started looking around for the shower curtain. As if the maid decided to play some irritating game of hide and seek and I was certain she'd put the thing on the shelf above the ironing board. Yep, I looked there. Nothing.
Now I start contemplating taking the shower without the curtain. It's not my bathroom, what do I care about water on the floor? If the maid wasn’t so good at hide and seek, she wouldn't have to clean up the mess. But then I remembered my roommate would need that bathroom in another half hour so nixed the idea of creating a man made lake in the Days Inn.
Before anyone worries I went to the conference all stinking and greasy, I did take a bath. And that's the TMI portion of today's blog. Okay, maybe we hit TMI at the "taking care of business" point but stay with me here.
The conference was fantastic and I had the time of my life. I even pitched Marnee's book and got her a request. That's right, I'm THAT good. But all I wanted at ten o'clock that night was to crawl into my bed and sleep until 2010. This, of course, never happened. When I got to my friend's house to pick up my kiddo, I stepped into chaos. Long story short, mastiff nearly kills boxer, owner needs stitches, blood everywhere, and tears flowing.
One trip to my house only to learn my friend (who is at the ER) still has my house key, another trip to her house and I finally reunited with my pillow sometime around 1am. Have I mentioned I'm tired?
So, here's my question. Do these things happen to other people? Do you ever think you have everything figured out and have it blow up in your face? Have you ever taken a shower without a shower curtain and figured out how not to make a mess? If so, please share. I'm taking notes.
Books by the Crew
28 comments:
Note to self...do not voluneer at conferences... :) Actually, if they really do have RT in Sacramento, CA in 2010...that's close enough, I might volunteer...
Ah, the strange things that happen...I have a knack for cruise mishaps. Losing my id card before we've even left the pier. All the planning in the world doesn't mean it all goes smoothly. But the worst was having my three month old ICD (interio cardio defibrillator) shock me in the midst of a ballroom dance lesson. FOR NO REASON! Again, 24 hours later...in the middle of the Pacific, two days out of Honolulu, three days from LA.
Spent the rest of the cruise hiding out from large electrical everything. Which on a cruise ship is hard to find... (I was checked out in the infirmary, I'm not totally nuts.)
All it needed was a minor adjustment, but man...I spent days freaked out.
Reg. shower...try pretending you're the shower curtain? Wash one side at a time?
But it wouldn't be nearly as fun to read without all the mishaps.
I'm glad it went off with a bang!
And you got a request for Marnee's book? I so want to hear about it! But I won't hear about it till tonight. Waaaaa... hate no net during the day.
And you still wrote this before crawling into your cave? You are the woman!
I've had travel issues. Once I rode the wrong train and took the wrong boat to France from England. Still got there, just to the wrong city. Then got locked into the hotel room and couldn't get out. Pounded on door and wailed because there was no phone in room. Too high up to jump out the window. Shall we say I wouldn't do well in prison?
I also have a terrible sense of direction. This did not help me when I was a Realtor and drove customers around aimlessly, telling them I was giving them a tour of the neighborhood.
Ter - I'm so glad things went well! I know how busy you've been planning it and it's great to know it went off without any (major) hitches.
For the rest of you.... Our darling Terri found herself chatting with Deb Werksman from Sourcebook and, when Deb said she was looking for Regencies that had a unique hook, told her about my project. And since Terri could probably sell Hanukkah candles to the pope, she talked Ms Werksman into requesting my material.
LOL!! Have I mentioned the pirates are awesome lately?
Good morning, everyone! It is morning, right? Ugh, I need to grab some coffee.
2nd - Volunteering is not a bad thing. Volunteering to plan the entire she-bang - don't recommend. LOL! Though it's a great thing to add to my resume. And that shocking thing is crazy. Talk about being attacked from the inside out. How scary!!!
Tiff - My suffering is always better if I can spin it for entertainment's sake. LOL! The funny thing about me pitching Marn's book was that one of the agents told me afterward I should look into finding my own clients. LOL! I may have a new calling!
Maggie - I had to write something. Couldn't let the ladies down. Especially after Captain covered for me yesterday. And did a dang fine job of it.
I'm making a note now to make sure neither you or I are in charge of navigation in DC next summer. LOL! Our luck, we'd drive into some top secret area and find ourselves surrounded by secret service.
Marn = the book sold itself, girlfriend. All I said was it was a Regency but it was light and fun and the heroine is a witch. Deb's eyes lit up. When I mentioned the great comedy using the appearing chicken as an example, she asked me to have you send it. Then she gave me her card. A few minutes later the waitress spilled water on me and drenched the card. Deb whipped out another one to make sure I had her email. LOL! She's very excited about it and I'm excited for you. But if this works, I better get a mention on that dedication page! LMAO!!
What's a missing shower curtain in the grand scheme of things that include a successful pitch for Marnee and spending time with people whose RQ is high enough to allow you to namedrop?
I'm so glad the big stuff went well, Terri. I look forward to more details. But I hope you get home early today and get lots of sleep tonight.
How is your bloodied friend? Was the kiddo frightened? I hope everyone's OK, including both dogs. :)
Oh, and the kiddos are fine. Once I got there and became the voice of reason, the girls settled down quite a bit. My friend isn't the best in a crisis. LOL!
Janga - When I think about it, without the missing shower curtain, this blog would have been pretty boring. Good point. And another thing I learned this weekend is that editors and agents are the sharpest dressers. It must be that living in NYC thing. LOL!
My friend is good. Three stitches in the pad of one middle finger and some tiny cuts and bruising on the other hand. I hope she's finally learned to stop sticking her hand in the dog's mouth to get her to let go. I forgot to tell her what Tiff told me the last time about lifting their back legs off the floor. Dang it.
The mastiff is fine. She's in quarantine for 10 days and we're working on finding her a better home. The boxer is pretty beat up and I think he'll be seeing the vet very soon.
What a great experience Terri! And getting a request for Marn - nicely done! Glad to hear there was no permanent damage done by the dog crisis or volunteering to be the registrar for the conference *g*
That's so awesome! Great job, Terri, and congrats, Marnee!!! :)
And I'm uber-impressed as sleep-deprived as you are, you wrote such an entertaining, and coherent blog!!
See, Terri, why I used the broom? Mastiff and terrier mix chomping each other to bits. I swear the broom would have separated the dogs if hubs hadn't jumped into the mix. So yes, things like this happen to me, all the time.
And I would have turned the Holiday Inn into a lake. There's no way I would have taken a bath. We stayed at a LaQunita, I believe, and there were still personal... huh, yeah, as much as I wanted to take a bath I wasn't doing it. Thankfully there was a second shower.
I'm thinking you should pitch for me too! ;) Not for any other reason except, well we just don't have conferences around here.
I can't wait to hear more about the conference.
Marnee, you have a wonderful opportunity. I'm very excited for you.
Renee
Hal - I didn't go in planning to pitch anything, but I'm glad I did. And it's much easier when a) you know what you're pitching is awesome and b) if the thing gets rejected it's not my fault at all. LOL!
Captain - I'm more impressed that I wrote it after 10pm last night. I meant to write it earlier, it just never happened. And I didn't get my nap yesterday either. I was so looking forward to that. LOL!
Terri - good point! Way less stress when you're bragging about someone else's work than having to nervously pitch your own! That's also got to be good for the editor to see a *reader* so excited about it, not just the author (good news for you, Marn!!)
Renee - If there wasn't another person who was going to need that bathroom, I would have done it and not worried a thing about it. But the rest of the hotel was great. The room was really nice and large and the service was good. I bet the maid meant to come back that day and replace the curtain and forgot. I'll tell them about it when I call to get my receipt. That's right, I was so out of it, I forgot to get the receipt. LOL! It's obvious I didn't get my coffee until I left the hotel.
Hal - It is much easier. I didn't even think about it. Then after this little voice in my head said, "Don't you think you should have asked Marn before you pitched her book?" LOL! Thank goodness she thinks it's a good thing!
I may be crawling out on the yardarm here...but somehow I don't think any of us would begrudge you pitching our books... ;)
That must have been one hell of a dogfight! I worked with a mastiff once, they are incredibly powerful! Lucky the boxer is alive, to be blunt.
If one is navigationally challenged...try a Garmin. It's a little loopy now and then, but I always end up where I wanted!
2nd - "I don’t think any of us would begrudge you pitching our books" -- Precisely.
BTW - JL is awesome too! Adorable and sweet and smart and if you ever see her name on a list of agents to whom you can pitch somewhere, fight for an appointment with her.
When I told JL Stermer (agent with Donald Maass Agency) what I'd done, she suggested I look into becoming an agent. Who'd a thunk? I'd rather just charge people a small fee for pitching for them. That sounds much easier to me. LOL!
With the exception of the missing shower curtain, it sounds like a great time. See, Terri, this is why you need to finish your book. You'd get requests for it in a minute.
You must be relieved it's all over---the planning is so tiring and afterwards, you're looking forward to it all being over so you can finally sleep.
OK, adding that name to my list.
Hmmmm - a writer's agent for getting an agent... Hey! If you're good at it, go for it! Always believe in going with your strongpoints.
Had to giggle at the idea of your little voice worrying that Marnee would be upset that you pitched her book...that is one desperate inner critique! You must be starving her...good!
And I am happy it's over. And I never want to do it again. But I'm glad I did it too. Got a great inside look at this industry and how things work behind the scenes.
2nd - My inner crit is nearly suffocated. Let's hope she stays that way!
Ely - It really was a good time. And this weekend definitely made me itch to get back to the WIP. Between the industry connections and the great craft info, I'd be surprised if I don't write again by weeks end.
Call me right when you get the chance, Terri!
I need specifics.
J
ROFL over the lack of shower curtain, Terri!
On a couple of our early trips to Italy, the tiny pensiones we stayed in had the shower head stuck in the wall and water sprayed all over the room! The tough part was figuring out a dry spot to put your towel. Oh, and the towels were about the size and consistency of a cloth napkin in a restaurant.
The conference sounds like it was GREAT! Congrats on snagging a request from "my" editor, and if you decide to go into the literary agenting biz, I'll happily be your first client!
AC
J - I just got this, but I'll call you soon.
AC - I used you as my ice breaker to start my convo with Deb. And I searched for your book again this weekend with NO luck. I call uncle. I'm going to Amazon. *sigh*
I need to look into the requirements for agenthood. LOL!
Sounds like the conference was just the thing. I think it's marvelous that you didn't just say I don't have a thing ready but my friend does! And even if your book isn't done talking it up can't hurt anything.
Glad to hear your friend is on the mend. I hope the dogs get better.
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