Musing About Halloween Costumes and Other Crisises
When I was in high school and college, I didn’t make my own costumes, and I never bought any. In college, it wasn’t really about how inventive your costume was and more about “how much of my ass and cleavage is showing?” (Things have not changed.) Anyway, sewing wasn’t exactly what I’d term as one of my talents when I’d graduated with my BA. I had a semester of Home Ec in 8th grade where I sewed a duffle bag. The pattern was dyed on the material, which we then cut out. It was blue; and I had to put in a zipper. A damned ugly piece of work. I think my teacher generously gave me a B- on the thing; and that was the last time I touched a sewing machine for, oh, about 8 years.
My mom was the sewer of the family, not that she exactly sewed a whole lot of things. But I do recall a Christmas elf skirt she made me, designing the pattern herself. It was particularly humorous and noteworthy because she didn’t take into account my backside. The front of the skirt probably came to mid-thigh, and with my butt, it came up a couple more inches in the back. Keep in mind, this was before Britney Spears and the mini-pleated skirts that have become common place. I was undoubtedly the only deacon’s daughter in the music choir whose holiday costume could have doubled for a hooker’s ensemble.
In August 1997, three big things happened: my mom died; I’d graduated from college the May before; and I’d just started my first job and had some money to play with. I decided I wanted to dress up for Halloween. But I didn’t want to buy some sad, pathetic little costume at Wally-World. Oh, no. I was going to sew my costume. I who hadn’t so much as sewn a button since 8th grade. My arrogance occasionally astounds even me.
But I would not be deterred. I bought a sewing machine. That, my friends, is commitment. Then I went one better. I wasn’t happy with the selection of costumes Simplicity had out that year. I wanted to be a Scottish wench. I wanted a long skirt and a white blouse, a black corset, and a plaid length draped over one shoulder. (I’d read lots of Scottish romances that year. Was still wildly in love with Braveheart.) I would even dye my hair the reddest-red for the occasion. Now if you peruse Simplicity’s site, you can’t help but trip over a half-dozen patterns for Ren Faire wear, all of which include a corset. This was not the case in September 1997. I had to make up my own corset, but hey, that sort of innovative thinking ran in our family. Remember my slutty elf skirt. I’d figure something out. I had bigger worries, like threading the machine.
I bought the materials. I found a passable costume pattern that had most of the items I needed; and I would just wing the corset. It was going to be done. And it was. I had a Halloween costume that year. It looked exactly as I imagined it, though perhaps a more sloppy sewing job than I’d hoped. My hemming was hopeless. However, I didn’t use any sewing glue, so I counted myself a true seamstress. And the corset came out great, grommets and everything. Very fetching. My friends were all notably impressed.
Every year after that, I tried to outdo myself; and I’d pick more complicated costumes to create. After basically bruising my ribs one year with an “authentic Elizabethan corset” I made (vanity, thy name is Frannie), my friend Pam said I was not allowed to have a corset the next year. So I dressed as Eve. I sewed a sheer nearly-naked little dress, attached to a leopard print bra (because I had to have good cleavage, you know), then sewed fake leaves all over it. This brief outfit probably cost more money and man-hours than the Elizabethan one. It was also more insanely popular than the Elizabethan one had been.
One year I was Little Red Riding Hood (another popular year); and for three different years I’ve been some variant of pirate. (The pirate wedding dress was a particular sewing challenge that I was proud of. I’ve come a long way since my duffle bag.) But then there were the years I didn’t want to sew anything. Hell, I didn’t even really want to be anything. One year I dressed as the little girl from Monsters, Inc, and loved it because how often can you wear pjs to work? And another year, I dressed as Marilyn Monroe because it only required this cute little black dress from my closet and a wig. (I believe Marilyn was even more popular than Eve.) There was the year I was mistaken for Harry Potter by my own father and I decided to dress as Harry to “show him.” Innumerable man hours in which I sewed my costume and my friend’s, who went as Hermione, as well as crocheted our scarves. (Guess how long it had been since I’d learned to crochet! Longer than the duffle bag.) Dead ringers, though my father frowned at me and said, “That’s what he looks like?”
This year has come and gone. Normally I spend months preparing for the event. I pick out my costume months in advance. This year I couldn’t make up my mind. I thought about being Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd—and making the worst pies in London. And I have the material and pattern to make a slutty Princess of Thieves costume. I also have material and a half-ass pattern to make a sailor’s sweetie outfit. (Going back to my Scottish wench roots, I suppose, of ad libbing.) Hell, I could have ordered something, but where is the fun in that? I’ve just not been in the Halloween spirit this year.
Our BodyPump instructor is even playing spooky music this week; and we’re to dress up for class on Wednesday. I bought some devil horns and a tail for the occasion because I couldn’t think of anything else—and I’m certainly not donning that Elizabethan corset. Friday, I’ll probably harken back to my college days, wear my sluttiest short black skirt and the cute little black top I bought a few weeks ago, then wear my devil horns and tail. People will say, “But you coming to work as the devil isn’t really dressing up, is it?” and I’ll undoubtedly poke them with my plastic pitchfork that I got for 50% off. I’m just not feeling the Halloween spirit this year. The Muse has left.
Normally I’d say the Muse is a bunch of hooey. You write by sitting down and writing. The Muse will show up when you get the first page, or first thirty pages down. But I’m beginning to see the other side of the case. The Muse is pretty important. In 1997, I could have bought a sewing machine, material, and a pattern, and never come up with a single outfit to wear come Halloween. How can I be sure? Because I have material, a sewing machine, and scads of time to devote to creating a costume--and it didn't happen this year. I've discovered it also doesn’t matter so much if you’ve ever sewn or not. If the spirit compels you, you can make things happen. (Funny how that works in writing a story, too. No amount of book learning can replace practical experience in doing something. Actually that works in sex too.)
So clearly my Halloween Muse has taken the year off. Unfortunately I think she took my Writing Muse with her. I think the tarts are off in Italy, drinking wine and eating carbs to their hearts’ content.
So…how important is the Muse in your life? Have you ever managed to accomplish something you were ill-trained to do? Are you dressing up for Halloween, and if so, as what? And perhaps most importantly, how do you get a Muse to return to you?
Irish and her Halloween Lovin' Hubby
Books by the Crew
65 comments:
Gah, Hellion, you put me to shame with your sewing talent! I sewed a pillow in Home Ec(of course they were very PC by then and called it Family and Consumer Sciences). My niece still sleeps with the thing. I'm shocked it's held up for so long.
This was a nice analogy for the muse. I think the muse isn't too imporatnt for me because she almost NEVER shows up. I can't even say she's on vacation because she leaves for huge gaps at a time. I think her time with me is the vacation.*g*
I have tried to accomplish things that I was ill-trained to do. I've found that I can do anything that I set my mind to do as long as I am willing to put in a lot of hard work.
I am not dressing for Halloween- I think the last time I did was when I was twelve, but the idea of dressing for a Halloween party does appeal.
I am thinking about getting my dogs costumes, though. They are begging me not to but they belong to me and have to do whatevr I say.Mwa- Ha-Ha(How's that for a creepy Halloween laugh?).
Hmmm... that would be *important and *whatever.
Sometimes it's good to look over things twice before I press submit...*g*
Forget the muse. Let's talk halloween :)
I'm going as a stepford wife. A final F!@# you boss lady, since it's my last day at work :) But WAAAA no more computer time during the day at the new job.
I can't sew worth a damn. My husband thinks it's very funny when I attempt to use the sewwing machine, I always break something on it (And it's fairly new).
Halloween, by far, is my favourite holiday. I did hand sew and glue peacock feathers once, to make a massive peacock tail one year. Did a burlesque dancer another year, I loved making the hat for that, a pink top hat. It's a miracle I didn't fall on my butt in my heels, they were well over four inches! LOL
I still laugh when I think about the chunk of wood in your boobs for the corset, Fran.
The Muse is all. I am kneeling down in worship, possibly unable to get up.
My mother was a dress designer, working for a custom made clothier in Vienna. She made her own patterns, and literally Scarlett O'Hara-ed dresses for me out of my dead aunt's drapes.Needless to say, I don't sew. I tried when the kids were little, but they were happier with stuff from TJ Maxx.
One Halloween I went as a Viagra Victim, with a pillow under my nightgown and a baby doll pinned to my shoulder. Now all I do is pin on my glow-in-the-dark ghost pin.
I'm kneeling beside Maggie in muse worship - I try to say "Oh it's not important. I can write anyway." Right.
I know how to sew well, but I detest the process. But I can make a mean set of curtains (thanks for all those sewing lessons, mom). Generally, I do what you're doing this year, Hellion. Slutty black clothes with red patent-leather pointed heels, devil horns, tail, and pitchfork. Last year, I went to the thrift store and found awesome suits from the 70's so the hubby and I could go to a party as Ron Burgendy and Veronica Corningstone from Anchor Man. Apparently I didn't run this play by him first, and he wasn't so keen on me turning his hair into a 70's fro. *shrug*
Kelly, if you got to http://www.simplicity.com and click on patterns, you can find a costume for you and your dog. One is Miss Muffet and a spider; one is the Princess and the frog; and one is Bo Peep and her lamb. *LOL* I'm sure your dogs will thank me for pointing out this costume for them! Plus, the best part of dresses like that is that most of the sewing is straight, long stretches of seaming.
I'm not sure I have a muse. Although, I'm sure she's there somewhere, cause sometimes I just have all this stuff going on in my head and then sometimes it's just blank.
Have you ever managed to accomplish something you were ill-trained to do? Yes, motherhood. It's been 13 years and counting and this week I feel like I'm kicking a$$! Check with me after they're in college and I'll let you know how I'm doing then. LOL As for sewing forget it! It's so bad that if the kids rip something or pop a button their response is - "When is daddy going to be home I need for him to sew something for me."
I think we all know by now how I feel about Halloween. The extent of my dressing up is a really loud orange sweatshirt with a big pumpkin on it. If I'm feeling adventurous I'll throw on the witches hat. Since being married to the DH, though, I have had a couple of really cool Halloween costumes. One year we went as Austin Powers and Vanessa Kensington - I wish I knew how to post a picture - we looked pretty awesome.
The year I had my first child (and was breastfeeding), we went as Batman and Robin. My Robin costume was pretty snug. The DH's best friend approached us with arms extended ready to feel me up thinking they were fake. So, the talk of the night was that they were real and how noone could believe it. Pretty funny!
Tiff: Ha! You as a Stepford Wife, that is quite a costume! And yes, that was probably the best part of the Elizabethan corset--the block of wood.
To those of you unfamiliar with this portion of the story, I was cinched into the thing (and remember I was being vain, remember, so when I designed the corset, I knocked off a couple inches off my real waist size, which made the lacing that much more interesting) and my boobs were nearly under my chin. I was quite proud of them, hands on hips, shoulders back (nowhere else for my shoulders to go in a tightly laced corset), and flirting with men. My ex-boyfriend (yep, the gay one) comes up and says, looking at what I think is rather remarkable cleavage for a modest B cup and says: "Why is there a block of wood between your breasts?"
I am so annoyed this is what he notices, I can't think of a single thing to say. My friend Pam, who's blow drying her hair and who you'd think couldn't be hearing this conversation, pops her head out of the bathroom and retorts: "It's for later. In case we get cold. We can rub her breasts together and start a fire."
Maggie, isn't it funny how those sorts of things skip a generation? (Granted my mother sewed, but I think she sewed like I do: just well enough to be dangerous.) If my mother had been that professional at it, I wouldn't have bothered. *LOL* I also maintain if my mother had been a better cook, I probably wouldn't have learned that either. Really, the fact my mother half-assed a lot of things helped out my domestic skills quite a bit. Except for the cleaning of course. We both sucked at that.
I am highly amused by your costuming though. Very you! Irreverent and hysterical...and of the social commentary variety!
Hal: You know, I haven't made curtains yet. I think that would actually require some ironing...and ironing boards and irons totally flummox me. It took me about 9 years to realize the pattern people weren't being mean when they insisted we iron the pattern pieces before placing and cutting out material with them. THAT actually makes the sewing process smoother. Who'da thunk?
*LOL* I love Will Ferrell. I bet that was a hysterical costume! (I'd want to do the Ricky Bobby & the little redhaired assistant...Susan? Actually it'd be more fun to be RB and his first wife. *LOL* "Hey, driver, drive these!" "Please be 18.")
Irish: *LOL* That Batman & Robin story always sends me into giggles. Too bad a billyclub wasn't part of Robin's arsenal--it sounds like you needed it. Seriously what are people thinking? "I don't think those are real, let me feel them" rates right up there with running up and touching pregnant women's bellies. Hellooooo.
If you do figure out a way to post the picture, let me know. Or if you send it to me, I'll put it in the blog.
As to me and sewing - nope. As to me and a costume - nope. As to me and my muse - I do believe she has just returned from a long sabatical and am scared she's going to leave again if I don't write something soon. LOL!
Kiddo wanted to be the outlaw version of Marian from the Robin Hood BBC show, but I wasn't sure how to pull that off. So, we just happened to find ourselves in a Party City looking at costumes. The problem with my kiddo is, she's too big for the kiddie stuff and too young to wear the slutty teen stuff. So we found a shipwreck one with a tween size (perfect!) and she's now going as a pirate. I swear, it was totally her idea. LOL!
And I still say you should go as what I suggested yesterday. Though that devil outfit does sound quite fitting. LOL!
Well you know I sew. You also know that Mattycakes bought me a new sewing machine a year after the fact that I needed one and the new one hasn't been used yet. Mostly because I don't have anything to sew or the desire to do it.
In JR high and high school I sewed all the time. I'd never touched the sewing maching before 8th grade. But I'm a perfectionist and my duffle bag was confiscated by the teacher and she gave me hers. Mine was used as the example. I thought it was crap I didn't get to keep mine. I've never hit that level of perfection again in my sewing. LOL My homecoming and prom dresses were made by me. Except for my SR prom dress and that was the biggest waste of money if I'd ever seen one.
I'm going as a vampire for Halloween. That's usually my staple costume. Doesn't take much to slut me up and get a pair of caps on my teeth. But this year I'm going as Ivy (who is a living vamp) in Kim Harrison's Hollows books and my best friend is going as the witch, who dons a vamp costume for Halloween, Rachel.
Matty and I, if we ever decide to go anywhere on Halloween, would probably be Ricky Bobby and Carly (his smokin' hot wife- except I'd need to lose about 80lbs to make the smokin' part and a ton of plastic surgery to get to the hot part). LOL We LOVE that movie.
I might have to revise the blog. Maybe it's not a Muse. Maybe it's Absolute Faith or whatever the one-word equivalent is. At no point when I bought the first sewing machine and material...and set up the goal to have something for Halloween did I think I wouldn't succeed at the endeavor. I just leaped into the project and didn't look back.
I'm missing that vibe right now. I'm not leaping into anything right now.
Holy crap Hellion! You mentioned the Talladega Nights before me!
Ricky Bobby and Carley! That would be great! Then every time anyone mentioned money, I could throw my hands in the air and say "woo!"
Terri: SURE, the pirate costume was your daughter's idea....
*LOL* I'm still "musing" about that Halloween idea. *LOL* I wonder if I can find a Vote for McCain button around here.
"Dear tiny baby infant Jesus...."
I'm totally cracking up Sin, that we want to dress as the same Will Ferrell characters. *ROTFLMAO* And you would not need to lose 80 pounds or get surgeries...don't ride the short bus this morning.
You do make an excellent vampire, my transluscently pale friend. *LOL*
I was Maid Marion one year. My boyfriend at the time swore he wasn't going to dress up but surprised me by showing up to the part dressed up as Robin Hood. It was awesome. Mama made this awesome green satin cape and I had a really gorgeous white crushed velvet dress. It was just like in the movie.
Cap'n - I was just trying to figure out a couple costume for DH and I last night. We have a party for his work on Friday night and I haven't come up with anything yet. :(
I'm on the muse bandwagon. Without mine, I'd be lost (hear that muse, I'd be lost without you. Please please don't leave me....)
It was Kiddo's idea. I swear. I might have encouraged, but it was all her. *whistles innocently*
Marn - Obviously you two must go as Tabitha and Darren. LOL! That would be perfect for you!
Ah! Tabitha and Darren! Doesn't require a lot of costume changes.... It has possibilities.
I suggested a priest and an altar boy but DH thought that was inappropriate for a work-ish party. Especially when I suggested he be the priest and grab my butt all night.... What a prude.
Tabitha and Darren would be AWESOME! A definite must! (*LOL* I do love the priest and altar boy. *LOL*)
Marnee... priest and altar boy! LOL That is hilarious!
Sin, that's so sweet! (I loved that Robin Hood. *sighs* Back in my drawing phases...I drew that picture.) I bet you made a wonderful Maid Marian!
Okay, everyone hit refresh...Irish's pic is at the bottom of the blog...and it looks AWESOME!
Irish and her DH look great! Man, he really looks like Powers. LOL! Where did he get that wig?! And if that is not a wig, you have my unending apologies. LOL!
Awh, Irish! That's awesome!! :)
ROTFLMAO!!!! Ter, he wishes he had that much hair!
It started with the suit. My brother's MIL found it at a Goodwill store and bought it. My brother went out and bought the wig, glasses and teeth (yes those are fake too!). He and my sister in law went as Austin and Vanessa the year before and then lent us the outfit. They looked even better because my SIL looks like Elizabeth Hurley.
The "Oh, Behave!" got really old after the first couple of hours! LOL
Thanks guys. It was a fun costume.
I probably would have gotten into Halloween a bit more as a kid if my costumes didn't consist of the dime store $3.99 specials with the crinkly, plastic face masks. My mom didn't sew, either!
"I like to imagine my Jesus wearing angel wings and singing lead for Lynard Skynard. And I'm in the front row, hammered drunk."
"I can't, Skip! I'm all hopped up on Mountain Dew!"
"And I never did change out of my pee pants."
And my all time fav-
"Shake and Bake! Shakenbake!"
Or when Cal decides to be the Magic Man "Now you see him and now you don't!" And at the exhaust his car can poop out little bunny rabbits onto the track... LMAO
Oh Wow, you all are up and at it early. Thanks for the wealth of entertainment.
Sew? *shivers* Like Maggie's mom, my mom is one of those, yep one of those who creates something out of nothing, designs her own outfits etc. Now she's moved on to designing clothing for Effanbee and BJD doll, as well as many others. Crazy, I tell you. Now, I can sew if I wanted to, but I have some serious condition that revolves around dyslexia and instructions. Since we opened our own shop, I find myself sitting at the sewing machine more than I ever thought possible, of course, in upholstery there aren't 5 pages of instructions to read.
Anyhooo, the only thing I do for Halloween is dress the kids up. Hubs and I have never been to a Halloween party. The one time I did dress up in a slutty kind of way, I took the kids out trick or treating and it was so cold it was sleeting. Dressing up kind of loses its appeal when you're shivering to death.
My muse is running full speed ahead. I contribute it to these morning pages I've been writing, it's like a miracle.
Renee
Irish! You and the Hubby were "Austinlicious!"
Irish: I can easily imagine "OH, Behave" got old quick. *LOL* Then again, Terri doesn't let me and Sin do "Shake and Bake" much on the ship before she stomps off.
Sin: "I'm gonna climb you like a spidermonkey!"..."If you're not first, you're last." And something about a Whitesnake video that's elluding me....
My muse is erratic--gone today, here tomorrow. I keep telling her that if she were erotic instead, my mss would be more marketable. :)
I refused to take home ec or typing in high school. I thought they were courses designed for the subjugation of women. :) I did buy a sewing machine back in the 70s. I made a sundress to prove I could, and then I gave the machine to my sister. I haven't done anything more demanding than sewing on a button since then.
Hellion and Irish, both pics are wonderful! I confess that I didn't like wearing Halloween costumes even as a kid, and I refuse to dress up now. I do love to see the little ones in their costumes. Our nine-year old grand will be a pirate princess this year. Her costume changes every year, but she's always a princess. When I seemed skeptical about the combination of a cutlass and a tiara, she urged me to use my imagination. LOL! We will also have a fireman, an Iron Man, two Ninjas, an Optimus Prime, and a sweet lamb (the two-week-old). The boys are no match for our princess in originality.
Oops, that was HALF a comment. I meant, if I wore my Harry costume again, I'd be a hell of a lot warmer than as Slut-o-Devil.
Renee: I'm with you on the freezing for sluttiness. It's getting cold this week (morning temps all at freezing marks). If my hair wasn't so long, I'd go as Harry again. Actually...I'd probably make a really good Snape right now. I just need to dye it the Harry color (Feria expresso), wear all black and change my patch to Slytherin. That might actually be amusing. (Only, no idea where I can get a Slytherin patch at this late of date.)
LOL, Hellion. Well maybe you should dress as an Eskimo, or maybe you could dress in a pretty lime green leotard with vines and an Earth stuck to your backside. Go GREEN! I guess that didn't come out right, I'm all for Green, in fact even my poor dogs have Go Green bandannas.
Me, if I could dress up, I'd be a gypsy. Or a tornado, not Dorothy or Scarecrow, but a tornado. My youngest is going as a goth fairy and my 15 year old decided she wanted to be a vampress. Now my son, I worry, his original plan was to dress up as S.W.A.T but when I told him no about using pellets for the air soft gun, I think it blew his real plan of holding up little kids for their candy out of the water.
Renee
Renee: *LOL* A SWAT team member? Has he been watching Ocean's 11 lately?
The only problem with putting an Earth to my backside is that it would look more like Pluto than planet Earth when compared to my backside...
BTW - I was wondering who that is playing Hermione to your Harry. Only because she sort of looks just like me. I actually did a double take when I paged down and got to that pic. LOL!
Janga - I'm loving that little grand. Imagination indeed!
And this is your week. TN it up! LOL!
Arrr. This be why yer the captain. Yer muse is strong! Ta tackle sewing without knowing what yer doin'. I was never so brave.
About anything. I thought about it all night...ever dive into anything you didn't already have a grand idea how to do...? Nope. I took instruction. Think it comes from a mother who sews everything...prom dresses, coats, capes, costumes... And a sister who can craft anything...scrapbooks, beads, and my crochet wedding dress. (Thanks sis!)
My muse kept leading me on odd paths. She's a real optimist...but I think she's onta something now. So...it took nearly 50 years... I got nearly 50 years left...
Love Halloween, but no dressing up this year. I go ta Renaissance Faires, Pirate Festivals, SciFi/Fantasy Conventions and the like during the year and do it all then... I am a found costumer. I put them together from found items.
Some great ideas, shipmates! Wish I could see them all.
Janga, is the person displaying the little lamb dressed as Bo Peep, because that would be way too cute. And boys dressed as superheroes crack me up. They seem to think superheroes automatically come with the suit. Lots of "Jumping off roofs because I'm superman" that goes around.
My co-workers weren't into dressing up. But then I came. And I was such a Halloween fanatic that I made them all dress up and now they're all into it. *LOL* They don't commit to extensive sewing or anything, but they do go to some lengths. I'm very proud of them.
*LOL* I'm still laughing about opting out of the classes that repress women. *LOL* I took Home Ec classes because I liked cooking, not because I thought I was going to be anyone's housewife. (I would never torture a man in such a fashion...what a short end of the stick he would get. *LOL*)
Terri, that would be the infamous Holly (or Holler as I call her)--my constant partner in crime for most spontaneous functions and projects. The woman is a riot. Halloween is probably our best stuff. We're making cupcakes on Thursday...that's our other big thing. Cupcakes, esp on Groundhogs Day.
2nd Chance: a family of creative souls! That's wonderful! And I'm glad your Muse is an optimistic soul...I think they have to be. If she were a pessimist, I think she would then be termed a "Internal Critic" and that isn't the same. *LOL*
I adore Ren Faires and Pirate Festivals! I go to our local ones as often as I can.
Renee - I'm still laughing over your son's plan to hold up the little kids for their candy! That's hilarious!!
Oye. Talledega Nights, huh? I regretfully butt out of those shenanigans.
Capn, yer right. My muse isn't so much a pessimist as she needed glasses. Had no real focus. But once she got the glasses! Saw how much a read, saw me degree in Language and Literature...and whoa! A writer were born. We be on the same page now.
She were a poor planner afore, and too many creative voyages ended on the rocks.
Me sis and Mom are phenoms. Sis finished the crochet wedding dress sans pattern. Lost it, and flew by the seat of her pants...bell sleeves, full skirt, fitted bodice...done by studying the picture. That dress be in my emergency suitcase, primed fer evacuation should fire head our way.
Bit intimidating ta consider stepping into such waters, if ya know what I mean. I stick ta the words now. Though I dream of sewing...taking a class is on the list of things ta do.
I be lucky, living 40 minutes from the Northern CA RenFaire. And a bit over an hour from the Vallejo Pirate Faire. And San Jose hosts the other conventions every year... Life, it be an adventure!
Hellion, what I love about you is your go-for-it attitude. You don't let things stop you, even when asshole boyfriends are being, well, assholes.
My dad's mother was a sewing genius (she's still alive but has Alzheimer's and lives in Fl with my grandpa). But she used to make costumes and Raggedy Ann dolls along with other type of dolls. One year, she made me a Southern Belle dress that I wore in 3rd grade---it was a wide pink dress and so pretty. The year before she made me a Care Bear costume, and when I was a scarecrow in the nursery school play of The Wizard of Oz, she made my patchwork overalls. She was very talented.
Now, I did not know how to use a sewing machine at all until I taught at hell job when I first started helping out with the drama club. He's like well you can head the costume department and I went okay, not thinking that would mean I would have to sew and make costumes for a play. Luckily, I didn't have to buy a sewing machine (those devils are frigging expensive!! and are a pain in the ass to thread), but Oh God, the memories of sewing Roman costumes til 12 at night in a high school with three teenaged girls are still with me.
I think what it is that we're all bummed and low because now we know what the Stakes are. Before, we wrote because we liked the damn story and fuck anyone else because we wrote for ourselves. Then we learned the business and what the business wants, so when I sit down to write, it's in the back of my mind, well, will others like this? I've been feeling frustrated too and I've tried to reground/recenter myself in contemps, but I just feel my Muse/my Writing Mojo has decided to hightail it to Greece and are having a grand time on the beach.
Oh and god, I'm real sorry about my potty mouth above, but jeez, I've got a sailor's vocabulary.
Well, fuck, Ely, what the hell are you blowing our damned censor rating with your blue-sailor's mouth?
Shit.
Shit. I thought I'd always been the first one to break out the fuck word.
Well that just blows my mind. Damnit all to hell.
Ms. Yount would be so proud of us.
You'd think we were on a ship or something....
Dude. I'm so sad. I didn't get to break the ship's cherry.
I'm bummed. :(
You need to take it up with Ely, the Cherry Stealer.
I'm the deflowerer of fucks. Mmm, that sounds so raunchy and so...perfect. LOL.
Call me crazy, but I'm certain others have fucked on this ship before. ;)
Terri, we don't want to hear about your frisky, freaky prison-movie escapades. We're virgins here. Innocent lambs. Don't corrupt us.
There's no way you typed that with a straight face. ROFLMAO!!
The day started off really innocent too. Who knew it would turn out this way.
Ely- girlfriend, you're awesome.
I'm innocent. My eyes are bleeding from all this fucking. I can't believe you guys. Shame, shame, shame. Strayed off the straight and narrow. It's such a sad sight to see.
*grin*
I thought if we used potty language all sorts of nasty stuff would happen... thunder rolling, lightening striking, red warning lights going off and a hand reaching out from the computer to slap our fingers as we type!
I forgot to commend you on your costumes, Hellion. I can't decide whether Little Red is pure as the driven snow or a bit on the sultry side. It can go either way. LOL
I don't know if Red is all that pure. We had a grad student that year (I wore that outfit), whose name was Patrick, I had quite the crush on him--and he had not seen my costume. He sat down in his favorite chair in the staff area--and the girls were all, "Have you seen Fran's costume?"--he was admiring everyone else's...and I sashayed out and said, "Would you like some candy?" And his jaw dropped.
Still not as satisfying as the year I was Marilyn. A different grad student was waiting for me, had never met me, and I greeted him. He stammered the whole time. It was the damnest funniest thing I ever witnessed.
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