Monday, March 3, 2008
The Focus Factor
Life is rarely simple. It seems to be easier for some but for most of us, it's downright complicated. I don't know about the rest of you, but complications mess with my ability to focus. In the last several years, I've pretty much run on survival instincts alone. This means, whatever is most important at that moment, I do and think about the rest later. After years of this I'm afraid I'm stuck in survival mode. In other words, if something does not seem all that important, it gets forgotten or pushed aside.This is where the writing comes into play. I often say my entire life is *have to*, stealing a line from the movie Parenthood. And it's true. I did go back to college because I wanted to, but in the large scheme of things, I have to get this degree if I want to give my daughter and myself any real quality of life. I work because I have to; mine is the only income we have. I drive to Knoxville sixteen times a year because the courts tell me I have to. I'm sure you see the pattern here.
But I write because I *want to*. Very unique situation that. Something I haven't done in a long time and I'm afraid forgotten how to do. You see, the writing keeps getting ignored or pushed aside for other things. Other things that seem more important but perhaps aren't. What if I've lost the ability to do something simply for the joy of doing it?
And the bigger question, how do I move the writing up on the list? How do I get my butt into that chair and let the writing come without thinking about that pile of clothes four feet to my left that is crying out to be washed? How do I tune everything else out and ignore the voice in my head saying I should really be scrubbing the bathtub?
I might have one way. I included writing expenses on my tax return and was told I have to make money from writing within the next three years or the IRS will come knocking to discuss the validity of these deductions. That's certainly motivating right there.
So, what do you do to find the focus? How do you block out the rest of the world, ignore all the chores and get words on the page? And don't tell me to sit down and do it. This isn't politics and I'm not looking for the sound bite answer. I'm desperate. I need real ideas. I'm hoping you guys can help me out.
PS: I'm dealing with a sick kiddo and I need to get her to the doctor, but I'll try to check in as much as possible. Another complication to throw me off BUT a day off work and opportunity to get some writing done. *sigh* I hope.
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23 comments:
Terrio, I can SO relate to where you're coming from. It sucks that life has become so frenetic. My kids are grown, but I still feel like I always have too much to do and not enough time to do it.
Our mutual friend, JPerry, says that when she takes time to meditate, her writing goes better. She says that life in general is better.
I've never had a lesson in meditation, but I decided to start each writing session with just a few minutes of sitting quietly, tuning out the world and listening to my inner voice.
Terrio, hope the wee one is better soon. Nothing worse than sick kids. I have no answers for you, except I cut out television completely, have slacked off on maintaining long distance friendships, changed my sleeping patterns, never talk on the phone except to my kids...essentially I've trapped myself in my writing room. I work a little every morning before I go to work. When I'm at work I think about writing. I'm boring as hell and I don't know who won Dancing with the Stars.
Ter - I hope the wee one feels better too. Ford has had a fever this weekend too, so it must be something (else) going around.
I think in addition to Maggie's suggestions (ie have limited external life) I have also set up a kind of schedule for myself, so that (like going to the gym) it's kind of like "me" time. SO, then I don't feel as guilty if I am not cleaning/grocery shopping etc. It's my "writing time." Sadly, if I don't schedule my life, I don't get anything done. :(
really, the IRS says you have to be making money in three years? wow... I hope that isn't the case up here. I have yet to file my taxes, but this is the year I am claiming writing expenses...
I have my own space in the house where everything I need for writing is at my fingertips... when I'm there, i block out all the house stuff that needs to be done. I'm a horrible housekeeper now--never used to be. But I prefer writing to cleaning, so don't worry about it too much.
Hope Is gets better.
Maggie, I cut out television completely too. I watch the odd movie here and there, but I don't have time for shows... unless so you think you can dance starts up again--then I'll make some time for TV.
I sleep less too... but I've never needed a lot of sleep.
Yeah, tv and writing don't mix for me either. Though, the internet is a huge distraction too, but I can't possibly give that up. I think I'd need a 12 step program.
Cinthia - I bet meditation would be good for me to learn. Especially since those moments before falling asleep are when I get the majority of my writing ideas.
Maggie - You have some great ideas. I have cut back a huge amount from how much television I used to watch. But for some reason, late in the evenings, I can sit and just surf around the channels half a dozen times before I make myself turn it off. It's the weirdest thing.
Tiff - You have incredible willpower when it comes to the writing. But I'm afraid I'm a person who sort of thrives on energy of other people. Not sure I could cloister myself and get anymore done than I do now. LOL!
Marnee - That schedule thing is what I need to do. In the past when I've set a time to do something consistently, I've done it. This I need to aim for.
And I know some of this is the winter thing. Less daylight just makes the days seem shorter. But the sun is staying up longer and we're having Spring like weather here for a couple of days.
I woke up with a couple of brand new ideas about the book and last night I printed out this giant image of the words "Golden Heart" in bright yellow and orange. I'm taping it up on the wall behind my comp for motivation.
Keep these suggestions coming. And thanks everyone for the get well wishes. No fever yet this morning so maybe she slept it off. She slept the ENTIRE day yesterday. Then woke up and asked to go back to bed. Very strange.
I have the focus of a gnat. Look an undead monkey! What were we talking about? Oh, yes, focus.
Though Dee, world-renown kick-ass critiquer and supporter, decided last week to go to the Spring Fling in Chicago. I signed up to go to. She asked if I was pitching my book; I asked if she was crazy. So now my month's goals are to revise GOGU to ready it for a pitch.
Saturday I spent with Sin, focusing on the undead monkey, and freaking out what needs to be accomplished. I was in good company; she was freaking out too.
I've got my first four chapters edited, but I don't find either of my characters very sympathetic in the first four chapters. I think I'm going to have to rewrite them. Delete them. Something. *grasps around for a paperbag*
Yep, Tiff, the IRS will audit you if you don't make money after 3 years. But mainly you just have to show proof you've been submitting, querying, got rejection letters--basically been WORKING at getting published, whether you've accomplished it or not.
Captain, if you need help working through GOGU you know where to find us. :)
And I had no idea about the IRS. I didn't claim writing expenses this year, but that's something to keep in mind for next....
I'm thinking about cutting out the two chapters at the movie theater in the beginning...and moving to the something "wedding related" instead. I don't know. Neither of my characters is very sympathetic. *sighs* I hate it when the critics are right.
Oh yes, Hellion gave me the freak out of the century on Saturday. Not only do I need to have something to show for the past six months *frazzled look* Hellion tried to get me to story board and it only served to freak me out more.
Honestly, Ter, just like Hellion I have the attention span of a gnat. No dead monkeys for me (that would mean my ninja monkeys are dying) but anything will pull my attention away from the computer. I must confess I was a much better writer before I got my laptop. The laptop is the kiss of death.
You're not going to like what I have to say, but I've given up sleep in order to write. It's the only way for me.
But the storyboard WORKED. Even if you plan to never ever look at it again. (Okay, she didn't look at it while we storyboarded either.) But everyone will be pleased to know she has a beginning, middle and end, even if she would prefer to write about angels/demons story she dreamt up on Saturday and I kept asking persnickety questions she hadn't worked out yet. "I don't KNOW, Hellion. I haven't thought that far yet." "Oh. Well, you just *said*...."
Terrio, your plight inspired me. After I posted, I sat down at the laptop with a pot of tea. I closed my eyes for just a moment or two, focused on the characters and then started writing. I finished an entire chapter! That's 6 pages in less than an hour. *eyes bugging*
Now, this is a first draft, so this was raw writing, not rewrites or edits. I just sent it off to JPerry for critique, so we'll see how much more work it needs. :-)
Hope the kidlet's fever stays at bay and you can concentrate today. Sending quiet thoughts your way.
Okay, off to suck some blood.
And just so you know I was writing on the angels/demons story last night. I know you're pulling your hair out.
I hope the kidlet gets to feeling better soon Ter!
Now there's a surprise: you were writing on the novel you weren't planning to write on. *totally unsurprised*
Oh, do I know about distractions. Take this blog for instance...lol
Really, I have to physically turn off the router attached to my desktop computer and take my laptop to another room if I want to avoid that kind of distraction. It's the only way my wireless thingy from the laptop cannot possibly connect to the evil internet.
Then there's the internal distractions. The ones that tell me I need to call the dentist and make an appointment, I need to get my business cards ordered, call my mother to say hello, and do everything else I can think of, including running out for a second coffee when I have a perfectly good percolator at home.
It doesn't help that I just finished a project, and starting on the next is proving hard. Hard.
But at least I'm not doing laundry, or god forbid cleaning the dishes. Isn't that a relief? lol
Okay, gotta go for coffee. Wish me luck on pushing aside those distractions.
Terri, sorry about your sick kiddo!
I agree with what everyone else has suggested - cutting out TV, slacking on housework. I mean, 20 years from now, what are you going to point to as achievement? "My shelves were always dust-free", or "I filled those shelves with X bestselling books"?
And I think the IRS thing is a motivational gift. Money makes us work - I've often said that the fear and encroaching poverty when I quit my job to write was my primary motivator in finishing GOTH and selling it. There's nothing like fear of an audit to light a fire under you!
I also like to feel "writerly". It makes me feel good to go write in coffeehouses or before/after my RWA chapter meeting, because it feels more "writerly" than just plunking down with my laptop at home. But when you have kids, you don't often have much choice...
We know you can do it. Does that help?
I don't watch a lot of TV, but when I'm not watching I'm on the
internet. The internet is worse than crack cocaine.I've found if I
Tivo my favorite shows, and don't surf channels I spend less time
watching TV.
Reading is my biggest distraction at present. I would much rather
read than write.Although the books I've read recently have helped
the cause, I'm still not writing. I keep having flight of ideas
about the story I need to tell.
The best time for me to write is at night after the DH and kidlet go
to bed. It's quiet and I focus. I find it's much better if I turn
off my yahoo mail alert, but it doesn't help when I "take a break"
every ten minutes and check my mail anyway. No willpower I tell you.
My kidlet is sick today as well,stomach virus, poor little guy.Ter I
hope the angel feels better soon ,and baby F too Marnee:)
Thank you to everyone for chiming in here.
Cinthia - you're my hero!!! That's awesome and here's to 6 more pages by dinner. And if J gives you too much trouble, we'll freeze her bras at Nationals. LOL!
Tessa - that is a great point about looking back and caring that my house was clean. I mean, to be fair, I never dust but I clean everything else. I need to let it slide. Or make the kiddie do more work. That sounds like a plan.
J.K. - I have unplugged the modem and carried the laptop to other places in the house. Thankfully, I haven't hooked up wireless yet. Might not need to do that ever.
And I'm thinking writing in a Starbucks or Panera might work for me this summer. I can't really do it now with kiddy in tow but this summer it will be just me and I'm going to try the writing on location thing.
Quick Kiddo update - she's totally fine. It's amazing. No fever, feels great and has her appetite back. I still have to keep her home since she had the fever late last night but we should be back to school and work tomorrow. Yippee!!!
PS: Kudos to the Captain for getting Sin to work ahead and shame on Sin for rebelling anyway. LOL! You two are hysterical!
You were a better writer, Sin, before you met me and got involved in a slew of more groups.... *LOL* When you were doing fan fic, you wrote like the wind. Of course, the Bat Babes are great about getting what they want too...*LOL* You had no choice but to write like the wind.
I must be honest and say I haven't torched it yet. I can tell you've obviously put a lot of work into the board with the meticulous lines being perfect and all. I couldn't do that to you and you know it.
And with all honesty, when I first started writing I was tied to the desktop computer which is in the kitchen. No distractions in the kitchen. (And we both know that because I don't cook.) But now I have a laptop and can sit in the living room. It wasn't that I met you. You're awesome.
Considering your desk in the kitchen faces a wall, so it gives the impression of having to stand in the corner until you've learned your lesson--I can see where you might have written more than on your laptop. *LOL*
We need more focus. My diet MD is not working for my focus!
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