Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Thin Line Between Hatred and Lust
There are constant reminders all around that tomorrow is Valentine’s day. A day retailers around the nation have groomed into being a whole day dedicated to being about love and the love of those closest to your heart. Though it’s nothing but a ploy to get you to spend exorbitant amounts of money on stuff all in the name of said love, people jump on the bandwagon like they’ve just said we’re headed west looking for gold and rainbows.
Love is meant to be celebrated every day of the year through gestures that come from the heart and can be enjoyed together no matter what day it is on the calendar. If you truly loved someone, you would show them everyday how much they meant to you.
But let’s not get me started on my soapbox this morning. I just redecorated it, and the black paint is still wet. Not to mention my rhinestone crown isn’t set yet. But the black feather boa looks nice.
Today, even though I wanted to talk about how much I despise V-day, I’m going to take the high road and talk about passion in your writing. Not just for love scenes, I’m talking throughout the entire novel. Packing that emotional punch each paragraph. Each page. Each chapter and ultimately to the HEA ending.
During the course of writing an original, you run into wild emotions. Emotions that you haven’t thought much of before you get to them, emotions that you could bank on when you started out to sea. Sometimes it comes on slowly, building up and letting the reader know just what to expect. And sometimes, well the emotion just seems to blow up. It’s explosive. It’s hot. It’s tantalizing and it’s uninhibited. It’s just the type of emotion that makes your heart thump like a drum. Your blood to heat up like molten lava. Your body lights up like a Christmas tree. You go from fighting to having sex in point zero seconds.
Now that’s what I love about writing.
Writing emotion is much like living it. Our character live through our direction. They act out mini fantasies and move through life with a passion for everything that they do. No matter if they absolutely hate what they are about to do, there’s a certain underlying passion about they way they hate. And that’s all because of the emotional impact you make through your character.
Passion is a very strong emotion. Passion can put you in several different places throughout your life. You can be passionate about something and there could be passion between you and another. Even if you’re arguing, on the border of hating, there’s passion behind every word, behind every emotional pull between the two of you. Between your hero and heroine even what’s lying just below the surface of a fight is passion for one another. Passion for the argument. Passion for the heat between them. Using the fight to pit their will against each other, getting their blood heated, their hearts pounding. It’s all the lead into the desire you’re showing and that the reader is starting to feel.
You have to have passion between your characters to make them work. Otherwise, it’s a weak and boring read that gets sat down 75 pages into the book and only glanced at once a year before they haul it off to the used bookstore for something better. Even if that passion isn’t sexual, passion makes a character stand out. Makes your reader remember your story and come back for more even after the last page is turned.
Passion can make you do stupid thing. And can make you do remarkable things in the heat of the moment. And passion is the reason behind every good love story. Ultimately there is passion in love. And there is passion in hate. Blurring the lines between the two can be a very tricky maneuver.
The easiest way for me to blur the lines is for the fight to be something that happened in the past. Something neither of them has gotten over. Something that needs to be dealt with before they can move on. But they never get that far. There’s always lust bubbling underneath the surface of their fight. It only takes one look for someone to take control and push them against the nearest wall and well… you know what happens next. It doesn’t make the fight go away but the aggression between them hovers back down at the simmering point. You get one thing out of the way and then they can think semi-rationally and have a chance at working it out.
Though, I could argue that love isn’t rational. Neither is lust. Nor is any emotion. But that’s all another blog for another day.
So I suppose my question of the day is: What do you do to amp up the passion between your characters? Any tips? Advice? Picture manuals?
Love is meant to be celebrated every day of the year through gestures that come from the heart and can be enjoyed together no matter what day it is on the calendar. If you truly loved someone, you would show them everyday how much they meant to you.
But let’s not get me started on my soapbox this morning. I just redecorated it, and the black paint is still wet. Not to mention my rhinestone crown isn’t set yet. But the black feather boa looks nice.
Today, even though I wanted to talk about how much I despise V-day, I’m going to take the high road and talk about passion in your writing. Not just for love scenes, I’m talking throughout the entire novel. Packing that emotional punch each paragraph. Each page. Each chapter and ultimately to the HEA ending.
During the course of writing an original, you run into wild emotions. Emotions that you haven’t thought much of before you get to them, emotions that you could bank on when you started out to sea. Sometimes it comes on slowly, building up and letting the reader know just what to expect. And sometimes, well the emotion just seems to blow up. It’s explosive. It’s hot. It’s tantalizing and it’s uninhibited. It’s just the type of emotion that makes your heart thump like a drum. Your blood to heat up like molten lava. Your body lights up like a Christmas tree. You go from fighting to having sex in point zero seconds.
Now that’s what I love about writing.
Writing emotion is much like living it. Our character live through our direction. They act out mini fantasies and move through life with a passion for everything that they do. No matter if they absolutely hate what they are about to do, there’s a certain underlying passion about they way they hate. And that’s all because of the emotional impact you make through your character.
Passion is a very strong emotion. Passion can put you in several different places throughout your life. You can be passionate about something and there could be passion between you and another. Even if you’re arguing, on the border of hating, there’s passion behind every word, behind every emotional pull between the two of you. Between your hero and heroine even what’s lying just below the surface of a fight is passion for one another. Passion for the argument. Passion for the heat between them. Using the fight to pit their will against each other, getting their blood heated, their hearts pounding. It’s all the lead into the desire you’re showing and that the reader is starting to feel.
You have to have passion between your characters to make them work. Otherwise, it’s a weak and boring read that gets sat down 75 pages into the book and only glanced at once a year before they haul it off to the used bookstore for something better. Even if that passion isn’t sexual, passion makes a character stand out. Makes your reader remember your story and come back for more even after the last page is turned.
Passion can make you do stupid thing. And can make you do remarkable things in the heat of the moment. And passion is the reason behind every good love story. Ultimately there is passion in love. And there is passion in hate. Blurring the lines between the two can be a very tricky maneuver.
The easiest way for me to blur the lines is for the fight to be something that happened in the past. Something neither of them has gotten over. Something that needs to be dealt with before they can move on. But they never get that far. There’s always lust bubbling underneath the surface of their fight. It only takes one look for someone to take control and push them against the nearest wall and well… you know what happens next. It doesn’t make the fight go away but the aggression between them hovers back down at the simmering point. You get one thing out of the way and then they can think semi-rationally and have a chance at working it out.
Though, I could argue that love isn’t rational. Neither is lust. Nor is any emotion. But that’s all another blog for another day.
So I suppose my question of the day is: What do you do to amp up the passion between your characters? Any tips? Advice? Picture manuals?
Or if you don’t like that question, how about: What is passion to you?
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31 comments:
I use hatred/bitterness, and plain old anger, Sin.
Great blog. And angry lovers makes for some of the best lusty scenes. It's a volatile emotion, therefore when it spills, it doesn't come easy but explodes... gotta love the words I chose...lol!
Advice? keep it real. And on the note of picture manuals.... hehe
Passion is a lot of things. It's all emotions boiled into one, it's something we love, but might hate, it's something that forms the people we are.
I have to say, I don't write the angry lover well. At least I don't think so. Even when my characters are mad, they still seem endearingly silly to me.
But, I think that jealousy or grief can make for some passionate expressions of love/lust, etc.
Great blog, Sin.
Love this blog, Sin! I think this is one of the things I adore about reunited couples in romance - I love the idea of people with really volatile relationships, who end up turning love to hate. And then back again to love.
Great blog, Sin. And totally right on. I think this is why I still don't hate my ex no matter what he does. I'd have to feel something for him to hate him and I just don't feel anything. Well, *extreme dislike* from time to time but that's it. LOL!
I didn't think I use this sort of angry sex thing but then remembered the first kiss in my WIP. The h/h meet in a not so nice way and end up spitting insults at each other instantly. After three run-ins in which the name calling continues, they meet again only the heroine doesn't remember their last meeting while she was drunk and they were actually nice to each other.
The hero only intends to mess with her and implies she was real friendly the night before. But he gets to close and they end up locking lips. I love the scene and now I realize why. LOL!
Great blog Sin!
No one writes angry love better than you I might say.
I love that thin line between love and hate, it makes the best sex scenes, and the best emotional conflict.
I like Tiff's advice- always manage to keep it real. Build up the conflict, and tear it down with an absolutley sheet burning sex scene just at the right time...yum.
Nobody wants to read about ambivalent characters--you're totally right, Sin! I've always heard Love and Hate are the flip sides of the same coin (although I might beg to differ in regards to a couple childhood nemesis' of mine. I only have a pressing desire to run Chris Roberts over with my car, then back up over him--not get him into bed. In fact the thought of the latter makes me snort soda out my nose.) STILL, apathy is the true opposite of love.
Joke of the Day:
A professor gave a final exam question that asked, "Define the difference between ignorance and apathy" and the student who got it right, wrote: "I don't know and I don't care."
Thanks ladies!!
Tiff- I love using hatred/bitterness and just plain old anger! Even when your reading it gets your adrenaline pumping. Those are my favorite scenes!
Marn- You're so cute! Endearingly silly. I doubt that. Your writing is very vivid. I can't imagine it being silly.
Jealousy makes the best fights.
Lindsay- Thanks for hopping onto the ship! I agree, that's what I love about reunited couples. It's that shared past that leads to all their problems and they finally work it out.
Ter- I love that scene and I haven't even read it! I love that sort of thing. I have this picture in my mind of him looking down into her eyes and all the silliness of the moment flies out the window and he just bends down and locks lips with her. Very passionate lip lock. Great scene Ter!
Lis! My partner in angry crime! You know you do the angry lover just as well if not better! Seriously, reading an argument you've written and your characters is enough to burn the page before you even get to the sex!
Hellion, LOL.
I feel the same way about a few people. My hatred of them doesn't translate into passion when I think of them. Or even fondness, it remains hate. I have a passionate hate for a few people. Good thing I don't ever have to see them or we'd be sharing the same cell in Vandalia at the women's prison.
Hellion wrote: "I don't know and I don't care."
LOL! I love that joke!!
I hope I do this sort of love hate thing without realizing it because as I've thought about it today, the more I've thought how much I like that kind of conflict. Hmmm...
It's the Pride & Prejudice conflict. *LOL* Of course we all love it. *LOL*
Passion is passion is passion. It's why make up sex is so good, right?
Thwarted. Even the words sounds right. In something I started, the couple have a history and a present almost too Byzantine to overcome, but the sex is still great, LOL. We'll see what happens.
And goodbye sex. And welcome home sex. And the kid is at a slumber party sex.....
Don't forget trampoline sex...
Or the most difficult sex of all - standing up in a hammock.
Pirates sleep in hammocks ya know...
I absolutely loved this blog, Sin! And I love passion.
Passion is something that gets me into a lot of trouble all the time, LOL. But I love it. There is no better sex scene than one balancing on that fine line between hatred and lust. And you Sin, write some of the absolutely best passion scenes.
One of the very first fanfics I ever wrote was one called Primal, and the first scene in that was a fight scene with lots of harsh words, angry emotions and an unspoken attraction. So passion like that is something I really enjoy writing. I'm not very good at it, but I love the emotions and the intensity. It's definitely my thing.
trampoline sex and standing up in a hammock! LOL!! Wow, we are a way more agile group than I gave us credit for!!
Hang with us Marnee, you too can be a card carrying member of the circus sex crew:)
LOL!! My husband will be so happy.
You think Marnee's husband will send us Thank You Valentine Cards for all the tricks we show her?
The Hammock Sex Trick should not be attempted except by professionals. Or without copious amounts of rum, dislodging your brain into believing that would be a great trick to try.
I'll be expecting my card to come with roses.
And that trick is also the reason we need Workman's Comp Insurance around here. Could you imagine trying to explain that at the emergency room? LOL!
I don't mind the angry sex thing as long as it doesn't happen throughout the whole book. I read a book once where the H/H were mad at each other ALL the time. And then kept having sex. It was hard for me to buy into the "I love yous" or the HEA.
I do think when you have a H/H start out really angry with each other or trying to resolve a past hurt, the emotional impact when they finally get together is huge.
Every time the DH thinks I'm getting stuffy or boring he says "Let's make love in a hammock!" It's from The Sure Thing - one of our favorite movies. He's like the John Cusack character and I'm definitely like the Daphne Zuniga character. I'll have to fill him in on the trampoline sex. Although, you're right Ter, that could be extremely dangerous!
I know what our next Crewmember Hottie of the Week is going to be: David the EMT or George, the ER Doctor
Is it the BIG trampoline? With the guard-walls? And is it woman superior position--because I can kinda see that working out, though yes, could hurt yourself...easier on the knees though, you'd think...
Sorry, I got distracted from the legitimate concern...
Yes, Irish, I know what you mean...when they hate each other all the time, it's hard to buy into the HEA--it's a fine balance. Everything is a fine balance. I feel we should be Tightrope/circus performers rather than pirates.
I was actually thinking more the hammock would send you to the hospital but one wrong move on the trampoline and you could break something very important. Maybe even break it off. That would not be good.
Irish - I actually stole that from a comedien but I can't remember what his name was. I do remember the first time I heard it I had to stop, tilt my head, think about it, then figured he was right. LOL!
Okay, completely off topic here but I saw an Oprah a while back that was focused on men's health. One of the guys in the audience said he actually did break IT! I always wondered if that was possible and he said yes indeedy it is!!!! Can you imagine going to the ER for that one?!
Maggie, Lin and Irish!! Forgive me! I saw your posts and have been trying to reply all day and night.
Maggie- As long as the sex is still great... LOL
Lin! Dearest! Primal is my favorite and passsion definitely used to get me into trouble and still does. You write passion and fighting so damn well. It reads realistically and I think that takes a lot of talent and hard work on the writer's part. You do a great job, babe. :)
Irish- The hammock! I love it! Can't imagine how much that would hurt to break something like that. Especially since it's flesh and blood. I'm kinda curious to see that. LOL
Your Piratical Discussions always leave me wondering about something.
Why are we Attracted to someone? Why do we Love them? How do you know that this thing is Passion… with a capital P? And not just lust or temporary insanity or the need to breed? And really… what the hell is passion anyway? Who knows? Even Einstein couldn’t come up with a mathematical equation to explain that. IMO Passion is letting go of the intellect and embracing the emotional.
Allowing yourself to experience passion is like letting go of what you know Is So and allowing yourself to feel What Could Be…
I believe that Readers of the Romance genre` are very demanding of its writers. We expect a lot. I know that. And I don’t doubt that our expectations for a passionate, emotional rollercoaster ride of a story can be a burden to your creative… Passion? Your WIP? Yes. I do think that Passion can feel like a burden But I feel… and yes I do feel rather passionate about this… that if you want to be successful as a Writer then you must be able to take hold of my emotions with your words. And the only way that your words will touch me … ever… is if there is some truth to the feelings that you are trying to convey. Some of the ‘real you” is going to be exposed in your writing. And that fear of exposure … more than anything else… is probably the biggest thing that holds a creative person back from Creating. In my opinion.
Here’s a tip:
A man once wrote:
“Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must yourself believe.”
Damn, who would have guessed that the old goat had so much passion? So much honesty and insight into himself… and human nature. Never in a million years would I have believed that those words belonged to…
Winston Churchill:
Happy Valentine’s Day you Pirates!
Julie - this is why I don't think I could have written romance even 10 years ago. At least not very well.
Going through hell gives you a whole nother perspective. *g*
I'm adding that quote to my wall.
Does anyone else hear the same thing I am with the need to breed thing? Who has Top Gun in their head? Anyone?
"I feel the need...the need to breed..."
Just you.
Okay, now that I got that other off my chest...I love that. (Okay not just what Winny wrote...but your line: "Passion is letting go of the intellect and embracing the emotional. Allowing yourself to experience passion is like letting go of what you know Is So and allowing yourself to feel What Could Be…"
That's the quote I'm putting above my computer. I might have to say that on my next date...my clothes would be ripped off so...*coughs* I mean, I think it's very true.
I think I'm going to have a list of Julie quotations above my desk.
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