Leslie Langtry the Assassin Boards the Romance Writer's Revenge
Hellion: Hello, Leslie, and welcome aboard the Romance Writer’s Revenge. *much shouting and rambunctious cheering from grog-warmed crew and passengers; Hellion stun guns Sin who rushes up for an autograph* I said after the interview, Sin. I’m so sorry, Leslie, the ship has been abuzz since I’ve told them you agreed to this interview. This is a huge opportunity!Leslie *not looking the least concerned*: Can I have some of that? *pointing to the grog*
Hellion: *handing her grog as she barrels on* I mean, when you said you’d answer any question, I suddenly realized I’d get to find out which of the Bombays did in JFK. I’m very curious who the shooter on the grassy knoll was. I’m hedging my bets that it was Virginia, since she was later picked off. So am I right? And are the Bombays primarily Republican or Democrat…or do they play the wild card and vote Independent? How will they be voting this November, you think?
Leslie: *blank-faced* Sorry. That information is classified. The Bombays made me take the blood oath too. As far as politics, they are split. Liv and Gin are obviously liberals. Dak is more or less apathetic, I'm afraid. Paris plays things close to the vest and all Carolina can think about is getting more grandchildren. If one of the parties introduces that as a platform - she's likely to vote for them.
Hellion: That Dak! *giggling, clearly crushing on a completely fictional character* Okay, now, I suppose we should probably explain what you write about to those who haven’t read your books yet. You write a mystery-romantic series of books about a family of assassins. The first one was about Gin Bombay, a mom just like you or the Boatswain, trying to make ends meet and get that monkey off her back by the name of Vivian the PTA Nazi—and oops, Gin happens to also be an assassin. Cue chaos and laughter. How did you come up with this series? And what’s been the most fun about writing this series so far?
Leslie: I was writing a completely different warped novel when I had a dream about the Bombays. The name Gin Bombay popped up and the whole family wouldn't shut up so I had to sit down and write about them. I think the bizarre situations are my favorite things to write. I love tormenting my characters. I guess I have a little pirate in me.
Hellion: *roguish look* Don’t we all? Do you find the cat-o-nines particularly effective on unwilling characters? No? Oh, sorry, pressing on. I’m particularly amused by the dating problems Gin had in the first book. It is Karma times ten when she meets the man of her dreams, and he happens to be the bodyguard of the guy she has to kill. I know you say repeatedly that none of this stuff is based off your real life; however, Gin manages a Girl Scout troop; and
coincidentally, so do you. Gin lives in the Midwest; coincidentally, so do you. Gin is married to a hot Aussie-former bodyguard…tell the truth, you are too, aren’t you?
Leslie: You got me! It's true - I live in the Midwest, have a Girl Scout troop and am married to a Bodyguard. He's not Australian though. That would be pretty hot. I guess it's true you draw upon what you know and some of these situations may have actually happened (the part about the Girl Scout training is 100% accurate - right down to the video) but I am not training my girl scouts to be killers. Although it was funny that at a Pampered Chef party, the leader of the local boy scout troop said she was afraid of my girl scouts so maybe there's something there. *looks thoughtful, then hopeful* Is there a merit badge for piracy?
Hellion: Not yet, but we’re making some to distribute at conferences. Like a Jolly Roger with writing quills. *poked by Boatswain* Never mind. Are you going to RWA this year? Will you be doing a book signing? Do you do book signings in Missouri? Any plans to do so?
Leslie: Not a firm believer in transitions, are you?
Hellion: No, no, I’m very focused. Look, an undead monkey. *uses her gun to shoot monkey, which immediately bounds back to life and starts eating another banana*
Leslie: I LOVE undead monkeys! I will be in San Francisco for the book signing at RWA and I'm signing in Chicago at the Spring Fling conference. I don't have anything lined up in Missouri but that's just because I'm lazy.
Hellion: Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have changed my plans about the Spring Fling! I’ve got to start pirating more. *shakes head* Guns Will Keep Us Together hit the shelves just last month (and incidentally flew immediately into my cart and came home with me), and features Gin’s brother, Dakota Bombay, a complete and total hottie with great hair. I have to ask this very important question about Dak—which hair gel was discontinued that he misses so much? What is he using now?
Leslie: Well, Dak goes with the big ticket items. It's something he can only order off Sephora (which he probably wouldn't like me telling you). It was an extremely traumatic time in his life. I can't say what he uses now - but would be shamelessly open to endorsements (Hello, PRADA?).
Hellion: You really are a pirate. *laughs* It seemed in Gin’s book (and this may be totally wrong), but Gin seemed slightly less klutzy than Dak. Am I wrong in this assumption—do women make cleaner hitmen, you think? I remember thinking in the first book, Dak seemed so suave, so…smooth, but in reality, he’s rather (adorably) goofy.
Leslie: Of course, women are far more lethal than men. Look at the pirates Anne Bonney and Mary Read, who staved off an attack while Calico Jack and the others huddled below decks. History doesn't lie!
Hellion: Very true. And when he went to hang, she said, “If you had fought like a man, you wouldn’t have had to die like a dog.”
Leslie: I prove my point. As far as Dak, he looked so suave in ‘Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy because he was only a superficial character. Once he had his own book, we got to see him in an average setting - and everyone looks goofy in an average setting. I'd like to tell you I'm writing this while wearing haute couture but instead I'm wearing sock monkey jammies.
Hellion: *tsking* Looking the part of a pirate is very important. *hiding her I Love Jack Sparrow pjs beneath her coat* Never mind, moving on. Also in this book, you brought back a family favorite: Coney Island, the carny. Now this philosophical showman was funny in the first book, but he really brings something to this book. Okay, maybe that’s because you described him as a Daniel Craig and therefore every time he made it onto the page, I wanted to peel off an article of clothing, preferably his…but I was curious: will he be playing a more central part soon? Say his own book, where he gets to be all philosophical and hopefully occasionally naked? And more importantly, do you suppose I could have a role in that naked part? *jabbed in the ribs by the Boatswain* What? Have you seen Daniel Craig?
Leslie: Book 4 - which I'm currently working on - is all about the Conester. And yes, he's totally hot. As for the loofah scene, I think I'd be more partial to having you oil him up as a gladiator or something like that. Anyway, I'm having fun with it. He has a much dryer sense of humor than the other Bombays so I'm trying out two points of view in this book - the other being the heroine.
Hellion: Oil, loofah, I’m totally flexible—you don’t mind telling Coney that, do you? *poked yet again in the ribs by Boatswain* Right. Oh, yes, your third book in the series is about Missi, who has the fun task of creating toys for all the assassins. What’s her book going to be about? Can you tell us? And her sons are about to come of age where they will do their first kill, aren’t they? Will that play a part?
Leslie: Actually, the boys had their first professional kills at 15. Missi's book takes place on a cheap, Canadian rip-off of Survivor. The boys help her out, but are secondary characters. I imagine they will have their own book someday.
Hellion: That sounds fun! I am so excited about this book…and Coney’s book. Okay, okay, last question, and I’ll let you go back to that important task of writing Coney’s book…and putting in that scene where I get to loofah, oil, whatever him. *jabbed again* What? I am serious. Fine. What’s the single most important thing you think new writers should keep in mind when they’re trying to push through and finish their books?
Leslie: Just get it done. And if you don't like it - move on to the next book until you nail it. Gin's book was my fourth full manuscript and I learned a lot from the first three (but I'd rather walk the plank than ever see them in print) but I knew with Gin's book that this was it.
Hellion: *looks at crew* Look, she subscribes to the “As IF” mentality. Imagine that. *tries not to look smug, fails* Okay, okay, I’ll stop hogging the interview now. *trampled by Sin* Leslie, I think you’ve been an excellent interrogatee, um, guest pirate—and I suppose I should give my crew an opportunity to ask you some questions. Crew?
Books by the Crew
45 comments:
*running full tilt towards Leslie with books* Lesssssslieeeee! *sliding to a halt... and falling over the rail* Arrrrrghh!
Leslie! I'm so excited I could barely wait for the blog to get published up! I have to be the first one to get to you. *holding the wenches back* She's mine first! Back off!
Sooooo *batting eyelashes* Paris... *dreamy look* Tell me all about him. Does he like tall brunettes? *Hellion trying to speak* But what about... *smacking duct tape over the wenches mouths* I mean, if he doesn't, I can totally change my look..
I do love Missi too. I can't wait for her book. She's so inventive. I'd love to have a cousin like that. In honor of your blog today, my uncle and I were thinking up possible ways to knock off a vic. Very interesting conversation. I can't imagine what goes through your mind when you think up brilliant scenes much like the bear scene..
Welcome to the pirate ship, Leslie! I'll be flying home from Phoenix today (by the way, the DH called me a couple of days ago to say "You've gotta package here." Me: "OMG! Is it a book?" Him: *snorting* "I don't know. I don't have x-ray vision. It's from Leslie-" Me: *insert fan squealing* OMGOMG!! It's there!")
I'll try to check back sometime this afternoon. Back to the cold wilderness ways of Missouri. *groaning*
Glad do see the crew is managing to be professional and keep some decorum. *eye roll* I got my book last week and I LOVE my buttons. But I'm afraid Isabelle is going to sneak one to school and I'll have lots of splainin' to do. LOL!
I just started reading the first book so I'm way behind but I'm going off to read now. Promise. *g*
Leslie, I happen to be the quiet one on the ship. If you need some guidance while you're aboard just yell for Powder Monkey Lisa and I'll be more than happy to assist you. *rolls eyes at the other crew members*
I just started Guns Will Keep Us Together, and I have to say, I understand the excitement that your writing has stirred in the hearts of my fellow crew members. Girl you have some imagination:) I'm so honored to have you aboard.
Hellion, your labels are almost as funny as the blog. Leslie, these books sound like fun! I'll be on the look-out. And am wondering whose body gets guarded in the Midwest. I lived in Ohio for a year and everybody was so sweet and civilized.
K, so I read last night when I couldn't keep my eyes open then read again this morning between doing my hair and putting on my make-up. I didn't want to put it down! And I'm only on the first book.
Love the internal dialogue and right now the line "It took all my faculties not to be naked when he returned" is my favorite. LOL! But there are so many great lines in here. And I'm only in like chapter 4!
I'll stop gushing now. Have you always written in first person? Do you prefer first to third? Can you tell us about THE CALL?
Wow. I've got a lot of catching up to do!
Sin: yes, Paris likes tall brunettes. I was kind of picturing Adrian Brody (like in King Kong) when I wrote him. And welcome back to the midwest. It snowed last night. A lot.
Terrio: If it helps, the teachers at my kids' elementary school all have my buttons.
Powder Monkey Lisa: Thanks! You can be my bodyguard since I left my husband at home.
Maggie: He doesn't guard anyone in the Midwest. We live near an airport and he travels most of the time. It really makes for a good marriage. ;)
Terrio: That was my favorite line I think I've ever written. I do write in first person. I'm experimenting with first and third for Coney's book. Not sure how I'll do yet. We'll have to see on that one.
Les
Leslie - my daughter is in the third grade and I think her teacher is already afraid of me. LOL! Maybe I should sneak a pin in her bookbag...
First and third in the same book? That takes cajones right there. I can barely keep one consistent. I recently read a book in third but there were dream sequences in which the author switched to the "You see her across the room but you can't reach her. You try to move but you can't" kind of thing. It sort of worked but I didn't get why she didn't go to first since the dream was in the guy's head.
WHY did BLOGGER eat my "Hellions" and "Leslies"?
Everyone else got their books from Leslie? *crestfallen look* But...I...haven't.... So help me if my postal service has forgotten where I live....
I was wondering that too. And just so you know, they were there when I opened the blog to post last night. I didn't change a thing. I swear.
(Laughing) Hellion, send me an e-mail about the problem with the mail and we'll take the scurvy dog down together.
Terrio: Coney's book might be a huge risk and it may not work. But there will be a book - one way or another! Apparently I broke the rules with Dak's book by writing an entire romance in first pov from the hero's pov. My editor said it was a huge risk since it's only been done once before. It's a damn good thing my editor didn't tell me that when I started writing it or I wouldn't have known what to do!
Les
Hi Leslie! *waving madly*
Welcome to the boat. :)
I love that you take ordinary life events and mix them with something extraordinary like assassins. The dynamic sets up so many comic situations.
You mentioned that Gin's story was your fourth book. Why didn't you like your first three? (not to pry tooo much....)
Marnee Jo,
The first three books really taught me a lot about writing. My first ms was a Georgian pirate book because I'm obsessed with pirates too. The problem was 1) it was serious 2)the first half was all description and the second half all dialogue. My second book was a suspense - again, too serious for me. The third was funny, and I almost got it right there. But when I wrote Gin's story, I just knew I'd finally gotten it right. At least...I think I did!
Les
I loved Dak's book as his POV only...it was perfect! *sighs* (I get so tired of 'perfect' novels where it's 50% heroine's POV, 50% hero's POV. Bah! The story will belong to one character more than the other; I always believe that...and this was Dak's story and it should have been in his POV.)
What's Coney's heroine look like? What IS she like? Sarcastic? Is she also philosophical--or does she think he's out there? Does she have green eyes like me? *bats her eyes*
Hellion: Coney's love interest is named Veronica Gale. She's based on the girlfriend in Shawn of the Dead. Smart and snarky. Coney's name will be shortened to Cy in the book - only Carneys and Bombays call him Coney (and it didn't fit the picture of Daniel Craig naked in my mind).
Les
See, I love the idea of a book completely from the hero's POV. But I'm one that loves to get into the hero's head. (Stop giggling!)
I hate when an author never lets us know what he's thinking. Drives me batty. I can't wait to get to his book. Damn it, I need to read faster....
I think that's what makes us all love Dak. That we can see inside his head. That he's not the brooding, moody alpha male who acts instead of speaks. It was much harder to write than Gin's book, but it turned out okay.
Smart and snarky! YEAH! I love the heroine already! She'll be perfect for him.
Is Missi's book in first person then? Like Dak & Gin's books? What's her hero like? And how can I get a computer like Missi's?
Missi's book, Stand By Your Hitman, is all in first person from her pov. The hero is based on the detective from Medium (he's sooooo adorable!). Missi's laptop is pretty cool. I'm glad to say that it is merely a figment of her imagination. Can you imagine if it got into the wrong hands? Yeesh!
I love that book title. LOL! So, are you going to use one of ours for this Coney's book? Huh? Are ya? LOL!
*pointing at the Captain and doing a little dance*
I got my signed book and you don't. I got my signed book and you don't.
*throwing empty rum bottle at Boatswain* Behave yourself. We have company.
I love Medium...and I love that detective! Yummy and broody...or would the word be...skeptical. *LOL*
It's detective Lee Scanlon, right? His name is Lex Danby in book three. He smolders rather well.
Is that short for Lexington? LOL!
Hmmm...that would've been a good idea. But no, it's just Lex.
How long before August arrives? *sighs, swoons*
Isn't it strange how a TV character can have that much affect? I love Detective Scanlon; and I love the guy on Law & Order: SVU--ooh, baby! They have such influence in your lives and you don't even realize.
Okay, maybe it's just me. *LOL* I'm sure it is. *LOL* I was talking about a place I wanted to tour in Kansas because it was the Pony Express--and my favorite show when I was a teenager was called "The Young Riders", which had Josh Brolin & Steven Baldwin way back in the day...though I loved Ty Miller (apparently I loved Betas back then)--even today I want to tour the Pony Express stuff.
The head of our police department works out at my gym. He's a bit of a Scanlon. Older, of course. But he was a Scanlon in his day.
I watched that Young Riders show! That would be a cool place to visit.
But I don't watch Medium. I can't watch Arquette. She just annoys me. No idea why.
And you are a total Beta babe. You're too alpha for an alpha. LOL!
I am not too alpha for an alpha. What does that even mean? Still, if they made Betas like Ty Miller for real, I'd be all for it.
Of course, he did not age as well as Josh. (Of course, I think Josh might have been a baby and Ty was being made to play a baby. *LOL*)
*googles Ty Miller*
OMG! He was my favorite. The Kid! Man, he looks totally different now. Wow, I had no idea.
You know exactly what too alpha for an alpha means. You'd tolerate him for about three seconds then take him out at the knees.
You make me sound violent. *LOL* I swear, scream once (or five times) to get out of my personal space and no one lets you forget it.
Ty was my favorite; though Josh Brolin & Gregg Rainwater ran close seconds. (Long dark hair, you know.)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm the same way about the alpha thing.
And I'm sorry but that display of temper was hysterical. Not that I would have laughed at you at the time. You might have taken me out at the knees. *g*
Um, I'm going to go check on Powder Monkey Lisa...I'll be...over there...at least until you put those swords down. ;)
Sorry. I probably should have warned you about the tangents. *puts down sword*
Do you have a critique group you work with (or a critique partner)?
Is it surreal to see your books in the stores? (I always think it would be so weird-cool to see my name on books. You know, books in which I didn't scratch out with a sharpie and put my name in its place)
Can you be bribed with chocolate? (Still looking for that oil-moment. I'm smart and snarky, all tangents aside.)
I do have a critique group - it's our local RWA chapter. It's a small group so we critique at each meeting. One person reads aloud while the rest of us follow along on copies. Then we talk about it. We meet every other week. And I have friends I can run a page or passage by in a hurry. I can't tell you how important they have been to my writing.
It is totally awesome to see my books in a store. I act like a total dork when I see them.
You are like my character so I'll be sure to write a lusty scene for you. No chocolate necessary.
Have you gotten the cover for Missi's book yet? (I got the theme of backs and underwear...so I'm kinda curious what Cy wears. Boxers or briefs? And if boxers, do they have duckies on them? I'm just curious how they'll decorate them if the theme continues.)
My publisher is taking the covers in a slightly different direction for the next cover - just to avoid them all looking so much alike you might think you already read it. I've seen a preliminary and it kind of resembles one of the posters from the movie HITMAN.
Cy is either into boxers or he goes comando - I haven't figured out which yet but I'm having a good time imagining it.
I'm having a good time imagining it as well...
*googles HITMAN* Oooh, NICE COVER PRELIM! *claps excitedly* Do you send your cover artist chocolate? I think you have some of the best covers I've seen in some time. They stand out, but not way out, if you know what I mean; and they even look fun. Just looking at the cover you know: This is a fun book.
There are a couple of them. I think it's the one with the guy and the girl from behind and he's pointing a gun.
I have a question for you - what kind of training do you need to become a member of this crew? I suppose my b.a. in political science won't fit the need, huh?
I missed the whole day! The whole day with Leslie!
Oooh woe is me!
Leslie, thank you, thank you, thank you for sending the book and buttons! I did the crazy dance reserved for new books I've been waiting for and the "I need another margarita" bar dance. And even though I've read it and read it.. there is a still a little thrill you get when you crack open a cover and the author has signed the copy to you!
Very yum on the Paris/Adrian Brody type. I think I drooled a little bit. Okay. A lot. You caught me.
I mirror Hellion's thoughts on the cover for HITMAN.
Ter- I can't believe you told Hellion she was too Alpha for an Alpha. And I can't believe the ship didn't burn down.
Leslie- you just have to drink lots of rum and promise not to touch Capt'n Jack to be crew. *winking* but we don't always keep our promises 'round here. I've got a b.a. in sense of direction but Hellion tells me that my sense of direction is seriously lacking. Just because I can appreciate a tall, dark and dangerous man in nothing but an eye patch doesn't mean my sense of direction is off kilter. Just means I'm doing my part to keep the ship fully stocked!
Not to mention that I think you'd make a fine pirate! You held your own very well today.
I think what Sin is trying to say is that you might be a little *over qualified* for our crew. LOL! But that won't stop us from stalking you and telling everyone you're one of us. *g*
Sin - I knew she was in a good mood from her really good birthday lunch. Timing is everything.
Oooh Young Grasshopper you've learned well. I will give her her birthday present this weekend. You can raz her more then. :)
Ladies,
It has been my privelage to sail with you today! Now that the grog is all gone and we've hit Tortuga, it's time for me to get back to work. I can't promise to keep my hands off Captain Jack - but I will definitely buy you all drinks at national or if I make it to your neck of the woods!
Avast!
Leslie
*doing the happy going to nationals dance*
I'm having a drink with Leslie! Whoohoo!! LOL! I'll be the one wearing the pin and carrying a monkey.
What?! The monkey said he wanted to go. He has weapons, I couldn't tell him no.
Oh, thanks again Leslie for playing all our pirate games and putting up with our crazy antics. Here's to may more assasinations (that sounds really wrong) and years of Bestsellers!
I missed most of the day too! I'm so sorry I couldn't play longer. Emergency with my friend had me babysitting her 2 kids plus my own and I swear, it was almost an emergency at my house. It was 3, 2, and 1 today, all boys.
Anyway, I'm sorry I couldn't hang out more, but Leslie, thank you so much for sharing with us.
*shooting envious looks at boatswain and pouting* I wanna drink with Leslie at nationals too....
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