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Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Laughing Me Right Off the Boat
I grew up in a loud, rowdy Irish Catholic family characterized by equal parts healthy debate (read: scream until you’re red in the face arguing) and side-splitting hysteria. My father had to be the funniest person I knew and my mother was his constant straight (wo)man.
Therefore, I love to laugh. In fact, I would say that my life is defined by laughter. I laugh at crazy times. For example, after breaking a nail which in turn runs my hose which in turn causes me to change my outfit while running incredibly late only to find that the baby needs a diaper after he’s already in his coat and now we’ll never make it on time to church (again), I laugh. When I make a long list to go to the grocery store, only to leave it on the counter, but at least I remembered to put on my lipstick, I laugh. In fact, I laugh while sitting in traffic when people behind me honk as if that is just the catalyst to get the rush hour traffic in NJ jumpstarted. Oh, and I still laugh every time I tell my husband that my nose is running only too hear him say, “you better go catch it, ha ha ha.” (Yeah, it’s just as stupid sounding in person, trust me, but that’s why it’s funny). I just enjoy the amalgam of irony, sarcasm, and slapstick ever present in the world around me.
What does this have to do with writing, you ask? So far it just sounds like I’ve flipped my suburban housewife mind, you say. Not at all. Well, maybe, but that’s a different blog.
Today I want talk about how humor affects my writing. And, because we wenches here on the boat tend to drag the rest of you down with us, by default I’d like to know how humor affects your writing as well.
So many authors do comedy in romance well. Julie Garwood, Julia Quinn, and Sherrilyn Kenyon, to name a few of my favorites.
I think some of my WIP is funny, but I am not sure that I’ve set out to make it funny on purpose. This frightens me a little because humor is such a subjective thing. What I think is funny might leave others cold. I worry about putting humor in on purpose because then I feel like it sounds forced. On the other hand, if the story is playing out in my mind as I am writing it down, removing stuff that I think is funny because I’m worried it really ISN’T funny leaves my voice sounding stilted and forced too. *sigh*
Ultimately, I think “funny” is just something that is. It isn’t something you can force to be in your voice if it isn’t there naturally and it isn’t something you can take out of your voice if it’s there of its own accord.
What do you think about humor in novels? What makes it work, what doesn’t work? Who do you think does it well or not? I think we’re a funny bunch of aspiring pirates. Does that humor show up in your novel(s)? Finally, does anyone else laugh in traffic? Oh, it’s just me huh? Whatever people….
Therefore, I love to laugh. In fact, I would say that my life is defined by laughter. I laugh at crazy times. For example, after breaking a nail which in turn runs my hose which in turn causes me to change my outfit while running incredibly late only to find that the baby needs a diaper after he’s already in his coat and now we’ll never make it on time to church (again), I laugh. When I make a long list to go to the grocery store, only to leave it on the counter, but at least I remembered to put on my lipstick, I laugh. In fact, I laugh while sitting in traffic when people behind me honk as if that is just the catalyst to get the rush hour traffic in NJ jumpstarted. Oh, and I still laugh every time I tell my husband that my nose is running only too hear him say, “you better go catch it, ha ha ha.” (Yeah, it’s just as stupid sounding in person, trust me, but that’s why it’s funny). I just enjoy the amalgam of irony, sarcasm, and slapstick ever present in the world around me.
What does this have to do with writing, you ask? So far it just sounds like I’ve flipped my suburban housewife mind, you say. Not at all. Well, maybe, but that’s a different blog.
Today I want talk about how humor affects my writing. And, because we wenches here on the boat tend to drag the rest of you down with us, by default I’d like to know how humor affects your writing as well.
So many authors do comedy in romance well. Julie Garwood, Julia Quinn, and Sherrilyn Kenyon, to name a few of my favorites.
I think some of my WIP is funny, but I am not sure that I’ve set out to make it funny on purpose. This frightens me a little because humor is such a subjective thing. What I think is funny might leave others cold. I worry about putting humor in on purpose because then I feel like it sounds forced. On the other hand, if the story is playing out in my mind as I am writing it down, removing stuff that I think is funny because I’m worried it really ISN’T funny leaves my voice sounding stilted and forced too. *sigh*
Ultimately, I think “funny” is just something that is. It isn’t something you can force to be in your voice if it isn’t there naturally and it isn’t something you can take out of your voice if it’s there of its own accord.
What do you think about humor in novels? What makes it work, what doesn’t work? Who do you think does it well or not? I think we’re a funny bunch of aspiring pirates. Does that humor show up in your novel(s)? Finally, does anyone else laugh in traffic? Oh, it’s just me huh? Whatever people….
Labels:
humor,
mad as a box of hatters,
Marnee,
traffic,
WIP
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62 comments:
One of my wips is pretty funny. Even in the dark thing I just finished, there are light moments...with kids and cats, for God's sake. I can't help it. And I am an equal-opportunity reader---happy story, sad story, whatever.
And my father was funny too.
Love the nose comment. My hubby's fav is...
Tiff: I have something in my eye
Scott: Your finger
It does not get more funny...in fact it sounds just as dumb as writing it out.
I sprinkle my wips with humour, but I'm afraid I make the jokes too complex sometimes and it doesn't work, so I stick to dark stories.
For instance, I describe Nicholas here is the line...
His hair, black as night, shorn except where long pieces came down the front of his face – the style suitably called dog’s ears.
I was informed that it wasn't as funny as I thought... Nicholas is a werewolf. :) Though I haven't removed the line either.
Maggie - I think kids and cats/dogs offer so many options for hilarity that I can rarely resist them as well. ;)
Tiff - I think our husbands would be friends; that definitely sounded like something mine would have said. Here's another one he loves: when I complain of face related sinus pressure, I'll say, "my face hurts" and he'll reply, "well it's killing me." LOL! I say it now just so he can respond. I think playing into husband humor is in the marriage contract, but I'm not sure.
I like your line, though! :) I think it should stay. :)
My family are a bunch of comedians. Or at least they think they are. My mother's the one with those snappy comebacks.
Me: My chest hurts when I breathe.
Mom: Then don't breathe.
Isn't she a riot? Yeah, we don't think so either. My dad is the old pervert. He can turn anything into a sexual innuendo which is the reason so can all of us kids. And the reason I get in trouble ALL the time.
I don't think I could write and not be funny. I mean, I'm pretty good at bringing out the tears as well - love my angst *g* but I like sarcasm and it's sort of happens on it's own.
And Tiff - I do that same thing to Isabelle but I tell her it's an eyeball. LOL! What? I'm my mother's daughter...
Oh, Scott has said the eyeball thing too! LOL
Ter - your family always sounds like a riot.
I think that a good combo of angst and humor makes great romance. :) I guess the challenge is finding that balance.
Tiff - I remember Scott's sense of humor. Even when he's not so funny, you have to laugh because he's such a sweet guy.
Marnee - good point. I've read that it's good to let the reader come up for air now and then. I've read really dark stories which were great but by the end I was drained from the ride. I think that's why they often call it "Comic Relief". LOL!
awh... Scott sounds sweet. :)
I've used humor all my life to cope with stress. Life is too short not to laugh. I have a pretty wicked sense of humor, so it has to come out when I write as well.
I don't mean to sound like a broken record but Janet Evanovich doesn't just have an ability to write awesome heroes, her humor is LOL.
It's ok about the broken record Lisa. All that raving over JE made me run to the library and pick up One For the Money. I haven't started it yet (I actually have real work to do this past week. Dratted jobs, cut into my reading/writing time). But, I'll let you guys know how it goes.
And I think that the stress factor is why humor works in books too. I read to cope with stress so when it's funny, it's a two-for-one kinda thing. :)
LOL Marnee - I was going to write that our backgrounds are exactly the same... except for my somber depressing father, the quiet stifling atmosphere and the total lack of humor LOL! So actually the only thing we share is the Irish Catholic thing! I always wanted a big boisterous, happy, fun family. It's that way now, but wasn't when I was growing up. My children know a big, boisterous, hilarious Irish Catholic family - thanks in a huge part to my brothers and my quiet mother who decided somewhere along the way to be the straight man to their humor.
I do, however have a DH who sounds quite similar in the stupid jokes department. He swears he married me because I laugh at all his stupid jokes. He's done the nose one and the eyeball one and the face one (I wonder if there is A Husband's Guide To Stupid Jokes book out there we don't know about). He also sounds a little similar to Terri's father in that he has a sexual innuendo or joke for just about any occasion. He's had to be pretty careful lately because his pre-teen daughter isn't as innocent as she used to be! That was always his favorite thing to do - say something totally outrageous to me that no one else in the room would understand, but it would send me into fits of laughter. He's a big fan of the inside joke.
Anyway, as for my writing. I'm fairly sarcastic myself and I think it comes out in my writing. But I totally know how you feel about wondering whether what you think is funny is actually funny! I haven't gotten far enough along to worry about that yet. One of the authors that I think is hilarious and shares my sense of the ridiculous is Susan Elizabeth Phillips.
I like authors who know how to get their characters to laugh at themselves. I love reading about any character that doesn't take themselves too seriously. SEP does a good job of doing that. I suppose I'm a big fan of self deprecating humor.
Irish - OH! I forgot about SEP (yikes, how many times can you really say that?) She is a funny one.
You know, our hubbies all do seem to share the same bag of tricks. Maybe they teach them while we're all in gym class or something?
Self-deprecating humor is a favorite of mine too. I prefer to laugh at myself before anyone else gets the chance. :) LOL!!
Vicki Lewis Thompson is another that does humor really well. I read a novella story of hers many years ago and still remember laughing until I cried at one scene. Lyndsey Sands does humor very well and in medievils which is not easy to do I think.
The opening of It Had to be You by SEP is hysterical. A poodle loose at a funeral wreaking total havoc. Great way to start such a powerful story. I think when you talk about balance between the angst and humor, SEP is a perfect example.
You know, that is it exactly, Terri. There is so much angst but also humor in every day life and that is the balance that SEP seems to capture perfectly for me. In Ain't She Sweet, more than the love story, I remember the poignant moments between Sugar Beth and Winnie and the utter devastation but also the hilarity towards the end. The way they talked about what they did to each other in such a biting, sarcastic and real way.
I think I struggled with that a lot when I first started writing. The either/or assumption. That it either had to be angsty or funny, when it actuality, most times it's both.
I remember last year when my MIL died of cancer. There were some points through that whole experience where I never belly laughed so hard in my life, as well as crying so hard my head hurt. Being able to capture that whole dichotomy in a book is a gift, IMHO!
Irish - you hit that right on with Ain't She Sweet. SEP lets those characters feel their anger, fills the words with it and it's totally real. There's no hug and everything is all better. That goes back to having the courage to push the characters.
This can also apply to comedy. I think we have to have the courage to put them in hysterical situations and not hold back because we're worried it will be stupid or that we care about the characters too much to embarrass them.
I remember a scene in that first Plum book - Marnee stop reading here hon - when Steph is handcuffed to the shower and has to call Ranger to come help her. She's naked with nothing for cover. It's an hysterical scene but also incredibly embarrassing for Steph. JE could have copped out and given her a towel or a rug but she didn't, she made her stand there in all her glory and live through it.
That's talent.
that's sadomasochism. :)
But, you're right about putting them in ridiculous situations. I love that kind of stuff. Because you know we've all been in THAT situation, the ones that make you cringe and wish you could crawl into the floor. Just like those Southwest commercials that end "wanna get away?"
I think that's a way to lighten up any work. Put them in some crazy spot and let them talk their way out of it.
I meant masochism. I really have to think before I type.
I love this! *LOL* I love humor in novels. It's imperative. (As angst is imperative for Lisa and Terri, as hot sex and Ranger is imperative for Sin--I have to be able to laugh.) Of course, it can't always be funny. You have to balance the laughter with tension or tears to make the laughter that much more special, I think, but of all the things I look for in a book, it's a laugh.
And it IS subjective. I gravitate toward more sarcastic and slapstick humor than I do for the dark comedy, a la Winter Passing (it's a movie; feel free to skip it.) I think laughter is such an important part of the romantic connection. You have to be with someone who can make you laugh *and* who thinks you're funny. (Hopefully not in that hopeless Bridget Jones' sort of way.)
If you don't have humor to share, you start taking everything way too seriously--and frankly, there is precious little you should really get worked up about. Life is short--you better laugh and enjoy it.
We are a funny crowd aren't we? An angsty, side-splitting crowd of pirates.
*LOL* I laughed at the "dog's ears" line. I thought it was funny; am I wrong?
Hellion,
That could be because you *know* me... so you know what my humour is like.
No, I've met you...and you're not exactly that much of a jokesman. I just thought it was a funny line. Irony; I love irony.
I love humor! Humor in the novels that I read is important. Though all the things listed by Hellion remain true. Ranger and hot sex. You might add in Julian with his dark brooding manner and killer abilities and I'm set. :)
My family isn't funny. We're very sarcastic and I tend not to write humor over sarcasm instead. Besides, I have a dirty sense of humor and not everyone appreciates it as much as I do. LOL
Great blog Marn!
Hellion - I agree with you about the humor stuff... Though I didn't see Winter Passing, I'm not a huge dark comedy fan. Sometimes, but not as much as I like the other kinds of humor out there.
Sin - I love sarcasm too. I remember when I started teaching that one of their big points was that you couldn't use sarcasm with the kids. I remember thinking, ok then, I just can't talk now.
I also wondered what retaliation a teacher has then. If they can't beat the kids (you know, with all the newspaper articles about that and whatnot) and they can't use sarcasm, teachers will surely be rivalling postal workers before we know it.
What?! No sarcasm with the kids? Like their parents aren't using sarcasm on them? Yeah, right.
First of all, I could obviously never be a teacher for many reasons and that's just another one. Second, sarcasm is a skill and not using it with kids is robbing them of ever learning it. LOL! Woe is me we are destined for a sarcasmless generation. My caretakers when I'm in the *home* are never going to get my jokes.
Yep, yet another reason why I would have never made it as a teacher.
And my English teacher did not get that sarcasm memo. She called us "rocks with hair" and said that she needed to get a blinking sign inserted in her forehead so she wouldn't have to repeat herself all the time. That woman was a riot. Bitter, but a riot. I didn't become a teacher (besides the fact I don't like kids) because I looked at her and saw my life in 40 years.
I think shared laughter is a vital part of intimacy. One of my all-time TSTL moments in a novel was a heroine who said of her divorced husband that she should have known something was wrong when they never laughed together. I can't imagine having a close friend with whom I couldn't laugh, much less planning to spend my life with someone like that.
I don't like mean-spirited humor that evokes laughter at the price of hurting someone, but other than that I find just about everything funny. I like cerebral humor, but I also laugh loudly at bloopers and even knock-knock jokes. And kids are the best. The grands are my surest cure for depression.
I think I am a better audience than I am a comic though. The humor in my writing is limited to bits that evolve from character and an ocassional turn of phrase.
LOL!! I love teachers like your English teacher. :) They crack me up.
I loved teaching actually. Well, most of the times. I loved the kids. Talk about a riot. And usually you could get away with sarcasm if you made fun of yourself. One of my fellow teachers advised that the best way to get your kids to remember what you say is to make them think you're nuts. They'd be like, "yo, you better pay attention. Mrs. So-and-So is losing it."
We have a funny sarcasm thing in my family. When I started getting emotionally healthy in my late teens I read somewhere that sarcasm is really anger in disguise. I imparted that bit of wisdom to my hugely sarcastic family - BIG MISTAKE! So, of course, being the sensitive souls that they are throw that back at me anytime I, myself, attempt to use sarcasm. I'll say something witty and sarcastic and my baby brother always, and I mean always, says "Irish, I sense you're angry about something. Would you like to open up and talk about it with us?" That's his stock reply to anything I say sarcastic. It's like the DH and the nose or eye comment. In essence, he's making me pay for ever trying to enlighten him about the dysfuntion in our family.
And it is true about the no scarcasm with kids, bit. My daughter understands sarcasm and my son does NOT. It was a huge wake-up call for me to be a little more sensitive to him because after a while he became self conscious and thought we were all laughing at him. My brother's kids always look at him with their heads slightly tilted and a weary look on their faces and say "That's just joking, right Daddy?"
I do agree with you, Terri, though about teaching them about it. Instead of heaping on the "Mommy guilt" and beating myself up for destroying my baby's self-esteem, I decided to teach him how to be sarcastic (aren't I a wonderful parent!). Now our dysfunction is complete. Mr. and Mrs. Irish and both our little leprechauns are all huge smart-asses. My therapist would be so proud!!!
Janga - Dude - you're a riot! Don't let 'em tell ya different. And you have plenty of humor in your story, just want to add that in there.
There must be something with English teachers. I had a nun - a NUN - in HS who definitely did not follow the "no sarcasm" rule. And come to think of it, she used that "make us think she's nuts" thing too. We were scared to death of her freshman year but by the time I had her again senior year, I loved her!
Gosh, I should try sending Sr. Eleanor a thank you note.
Janga - I agree about the mean-spirited humor. I don't really like humor that makes fun of other people, but I love when I make fun of myself. I'm my funniest material. :)
And kids are hilarious. Maggie mentioned that too. The stuff they do and say is great. And the sense of timing. Wow.
Irish, you've done a service for mankind, you can be assured. Sarcasm is a skill in the workplace. I believe that you can't talk to your boss without it.
Sarcasm, by definition, is designed to wound, so I think teachers should avoid it. But irony is a different and useful tool for the teacher.
I use it all the time. I said to a student just last week, "Since what you have to say is clearly more important than what I am saying, I'll be quiet and listen to you." He grinned and apologized, and I had the attention of the whole class again.
My kids thought I was crazy. If they don't know what to expect from you, they stay in line a lot easier. I jumped up on my desk once and spouted "CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN" like in Dead Poet's Society (a la Whitman).
But, it was all good because the day I left on maternity leave, they climbed on their seats and said "Captain my captain" back. Brought tears to my eyes (in the midst of heart palpitations that someone would fall and I'd be sued).
I never talk to any of my bosses with out sarcasm. They usually think I'm a riot.
I've heard the anger in disguise comment. Written by therapists who never mastered it and are simply jealous, I say.
And Ter - write your teacher. Teachers get off on that stuff.
Very clear and good distinction, Janga. I agree with what you're getting at.
I don't think teachers want to scar, they just want the kids to hush it for a bit. :)
Okay, maybe I confuse my sarcasm and irony...I do both...a lot.
I love the Captain My Captain moment. That's so sweet!
Did Marnee really just suggest a NUN would get off on something? LMAO!!!
I see Janga's point. I once told my grandmother to kiss my ass and, without missing a beat, she returned with "It looks too much like your face." Yes, the wounding part is not fun. LOL!
Yeah, LOL! I had some sweet kids. :) By and large, most kids are sweet. And the ones that are trying are generally dealing with heavy stuff, so you can forgive them.
Wow there granny. Ouch is right.
And yes that is exactly what I suggested. :) LOL!!
Laughing at yourself is a survival tool, especially for teachers. Laughing at yourself can turn what could be a disaster into a moment everybody loves to remember with a smile. When I was a very young teacher, I made the mistake saying genderless nouns "have no sex." I'm sure I blushed as I realized what I had said, but I laughed too, and my students roared. One of those students is in my church now, and he still teases me about that incident.
LOL Janga!! That's awesome!! I would've blushed my way through that too. And kids love that stuff....
I think if you tell your GRANNY to kiss your ass, you deserve that comment.
*laughing out loud* OMG, that's funny. "Kids, remember genderless nouns have no sex...and for all intents and purposes, you probably shouldn't either." That way you can multitask class objectives like "grammar" and "abstinence"
Technically, she was my Nanny - that's what we called her forever anyway. I was 17 and difficult. What can I say? That's not the worst thing I ever said.
But who do you think taught me all this sarcasm anyway? LOL! She was born outside London so she had that British humor. She could cut you quicker than you could blink.
Man, Ter, I think I'd love your family. My kinda people.
I missed Janga's post earlier about laughter being an integral part of a relationship (We must have been posting at the same time). I totally agree. I could not imagine sharing my life with someone I could not laugh with. It seemed a superficial and not too important characteristic to me when I was younger (as if there are more important qualities than a sense of humor), but the more I'm in this relationship the more I believe it's THE most important thing we've got going for us at times.
I'm also wondering if I, too, am getting sarcasm and irony mixed up a little. The older I get, and especially since I've become a mommy, I've become gentler and kinder in my attempts at humor. And also very conscious that I'm not hurting someone's feelings as a result. I sometimes feel as if the humor I share creates more of a bond than the tragedy I share, if that makes any sense.
Wow, the keyboards are quick today! LOL I can't keep up.
LOL Janga! One reason why I would never be a teacher. I have enough trouble putting my foot in it around family and friends. No need to do it constantly in front of a classroom of kids.
Terri - it sounds like you were a real joy as a teen! LOL
Irish, I agree about both points you make. First, I think I've settled in my humor as well. I used to be pretty sharp sometimes but now I've become more of a softy. I think my priorities have shifted a bit.
And I really love how you word this.... "I sometimes feel as if the humor I share creates more of a bond than the tragedy I share" You need to put that in your WIP somewhere.
Yes, I was a lovely teen. Now is there any question why I'm NOT looking forward to my daughter reaching her teens? LOL!
I think the fact you two have found your HEA in RL is the reason your humor is mellowing. Mine gets worse the more bitter I get. LOL!
Irish, I always find it interesting that honor is the only quality mentioned more frequently than a sense of humor by the nearly 200 romance wrters who define the "heart of a hero" on Bookbug (http://www.geocities.com/Athens/
Forum/8078/hero.html).
Candice Hern, for example, said, "Candice Hern: Personally, I prefer them flawed but redeemable, with a strong underlying sense of humor."
Wow, great site Janga! Thanks for the info!
Wait, was this the survey where Teresa Medeiros said the hero MUST be willing to run back in the burning building to rescue the basket of kittens?
she said that? Um, if my husband raced into a burning building to save some cats I'd question his sanity.
But you'd still give it up that night. LOL! After he showers, of course.
The question was specifically what quality must a "romantic hero" possess...and that was Teresa's. (She has a number of cats, who are like her children I think, hence I think the statement.) And I think Christina Dodd's response was: STAMINA.
This one sounds like Sin could have said it. LOL!
Sandra Hill: The perfect hero is a tormented man with a wicked sense of humor. A wonderful combination of dark and light.
Ok, after a shower.
But, this assumes he makes it out of the building. While my hubby does possess a modicum of agility, it's hit or miss swiftness.
I say leave it to the professionals.
Smartass.
I would've said a good sense of direction. *wink* Don't need stamina if you have that.
I'd need stamina if he had that. LOL! Unfortunately, men who have that are pretty much a myth perpetuated to ensure continuation of the species...
It sounds like you're just naturally funny, Marnee Jo. What a gift!!
I also love to laugh. My husband's twist on your husband's joke is "You have a Roman nose. Last I looked it was over by your ear." Still tickles me.
I've tried so many times to put humor in my writing, but while I can be somewhat funny in real life, I don't come across as funny in writing. I think it's because I overword.
"Funny" is best when it's pared and simple. Congratulations on being able to do it!! The rest of us are envious.
Dee
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