Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Hats and more hats
I had a different log written and planned for today, but as with many things on the ship, I realized as I climbed into bed, tucked my pistol under my pillow, and settled down for a much-needed snooze that this instead needed to be said. Especially so soon before Christmas and New Year's, a time of year where we think of everyone but ourselves.
Don your Just For Me hat.
We're expected everyday to wear so many different hats. Our pirate's hat; our wife hat; our mother's hat; our bitch's hat; our writer's hat; our 9-to-5 hat; our counselor's hat; our friend hat; our professor's hat; our housekeeping hat; our Martha Stewart hat; our Budget Queen hat; our Harry Potter Making Magic from Nothing hat....
I myself like a good hat. A lovely plume, a certain richness in the fabric as it folds up into the tricorn...but with all these hats and expectations of our time, we don't have time to ever wear our Just For Me hat. Worse, we believe, inherently, we also do not have money for such a selfish act...and frankly, just who do we think we are that we deserve a hat that serves no function than other than to be for ourselves?
This is faulty thinking--because despite the title of the Harry Potter hat, you really can't make something out of nothing. You're giving up a little bit of yourself with each hat you whip on and off with flair and haste, seamlessly moving from one role to the other, without any regard to why you are doing it, only that it is an important job to be done and SOMEBODY has to do it.
It is little wonder then that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, why any of us would have the energy, desire, or need to even put a string of words on the page. What's left to fill the blank white space when everything has been sapped by things that needed to be taken care of first--but in which the most important thing, YOU, had not been taken care of at all?
Who in their right minds would want to empty themselves on a page when there is nothing left to give?
You have to fill yourself first before you can put something on the page. And in order to do that, you have to remember you're worth the consideration of doing something Just for Me. And I'm sure if you turned off the Internal Critic who reminds you that the credit card bill is due, the kids need to get to practice on time, and supper needs to be fixed (since Redbook pointed out that tragically we don't get home-cooked meals near as often as we get fast food) that you would realize you too deserve just as much attention and time as you give to everyone else.
So go wild. Take a soak in the bathtub and read an extra chapter. Or go wilder, and get an hour massage, followed by a pedicure. Get your hair done. Buy a book you've had your eye on. Pop in your yoga tape and do some Half-Moon poses and breathe deeply, enjoying this time you've taken just for yourself.
Doing this you may find your Muse is more willing to hang out with you again...and offer you more to empty on your blank pages.
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35 comments:
Well-said, Hellion. Will you write the note to my boss when I call in sick for the rest of the week? *g* Seriously, we all need to take a breath now and then. The world will continue to spin without us.
I was just thinking about taking a break this weekend. I really want to see Atonement (lurve Keira Knightley) and I was thinking of getting the hubby to watch le bebe and going.
I think I haven't been to the movie theater since HP and OOTP came out. I'm sad.
But, you're right, it's important to recharge the batteries.
OH! And I just bought Eloisa's Affair Before Christmas! That was a treat, I'm going to work that in this week, somewhere....
Fabulous blog Capt'n!
So last weekend I had a massage and ate a bunch of junk food, but then I repented by cleaning off the driveway and cleaning the house. And doing 4 loads of laundry and folding said laundry. And doing dishes and getting ready for this weekend. Wrapped the rest of the presents (five hours worth, thankyouverymuch) and then it was midnight on Sunday. :( Marnee, I want to see Atonement SO bad. I wonder if I can sneak away Christmas Eve and go see it. Hm. Hellion... you game? And I just got Eloisa's ABC as well! I can't wait to read it!
This is a very good topic but I have only one word for you.
AREYOUOUTOFYOURFREAKINGMIND????!!!
There is no time. NONE. As it is I'm having anxiety attacks. And this stupid stomach thing threw me even further behind. I need a maid! I need more time!! I need to be cloned!!!
I need a drink.
Maggie: I'll be glad to write your sick notes, on the letterhead of Dr. Hellion Sparrow, 101 Marina Ave... Definitely take some time--even if you have to call in a Mental Health Day!
Marnee: Yes! Definitely! (And considering some moms I know, you did good to see HP & OOTP! I know moms who haven't seen a movie since the first Shrek! WTH!)
Sin: I will be here Christmas Eve--and provided I have my Christmas gifts mostly in order, I'll go! (I might have to do some Walmart shopping if I don't get it done Friday/Saturday)--then we can see it Christmas Eve--that would be awesome.
*eyeroll* Then take a LONGER shower. I wasn't suggesting anything very heretical, Terr. You don't have to get a massage...I'm just suggesting taking at least 15 minutes for yourself, meditate, CHILL OUT...
Awesome blog. I needed this thought today. Thank you Cap'n.
Sometimes it's hard to separate ourselves from what absolutely has to be done and what can wait.
It's that time of year when the stress,work, and family issues are at an all time peak.
When I'm the most stressed I seem to write better, that whole therapuetic mojo happens. It's just turning off the outside stimulus to focus on what needs written. Taking time for me is such a nice thought. *sigh*
Lissa: please make it more than a nice thought. *LOL* Maybe you should take a longer shower too. At the very least!
Seriously, guys, if you're not going to turn into functioning alcoholics this Season, you really need to take a few minutes just for yourself. If you think things will fall apart now if you don't get it done, if you should happen to get sick or have a relapse, whathaveyou, think how much worse it will be!
Think of this as Preventative Care.
Well, if (and that's a big IF) I manage to make it to this weekend and get to brother's house with an ounce of sanity left, I do intend to relax for a couple of days. Is and I went to see Enchanted this weekend and loved it so I might get my mom and sister to take her again and I'll steel away to see PS: I Love You.
That would be some really nice "me" time. And Atonement looks good too but I'll save that until after Christmas when I'm a little less strung out. *g*
After Christmas I have to bang out the rest of this erotica *grin* and get it ready for a contest. Nothing like a little pressure. It's totally doable. But I have to get all my procrastination out now. LOL Which is not easy to do with a mother like mine. She's the ultimate procrastinator.
Your mother and mine must be sisters. And I inherited it. Dang it. LOL!
I too am supposed to finish my erotic short by end of the first week of January. Not sure that's going to happen. Only one chap is done! I have four more to go.
Terr, you NOT get something done? Please. You'll do it and make the rest of us look bad.
Sin, I know if anyone could bang out a great erotica--it'd be you. We'll go watch Atonement and get some inspiration from James McAvoy or whoever that guy is.
Great advice, Hellion! I'm actually doing this for the first time in a long time. I'm pretty much on target with everything and am doing lunch tomorrow with a couple of girlfriends. I can't wait!
Irish, party it up with the girlfriends! I'm convinced girlfriends do not hang out nearly as much as they should...that two-to-six brains is better than one philosophy...
It sure sounds like the crowd of us need some selfish time. I'm with the Cap'n, this new years we should make a pact to at least do something for ourselves once or twice a week. A purely selfish act at least once a week.
I bet it'd make us all feel more relaxed.
I don't know. I think that might kill Irish and I with the guilt. How about once a month? I'm sure I could handle once a month.
And I've already made a resolution to laugh more. This could probably help in that direction...
I've signed up for monthly massages. I figure why not? I'll put it on my credit card. I get a discount from my gym...so I'll just justify it.
Are you serious? The, as you called yourself, nipfarthingest of the group? LOL! Oh, that's serious progress, girlfriend.
I got a massage last week and I hated it. Full hour too. The room was freezing so I couldn't relax and my neck hurt more when I was done than when I started.
About 15 years ago I went to the Chiropractor three times a week. THAT was wonderful. And his name was Tom Crews which I always thought was the funniest part. LOL! No couch jumping, thank goodness.
Wow, monthly massages. That sounds awesome. :) I just meant something small. A long bath a week, an hour of reading where we disregard any other demands for our time. Stuff like that. Though, I think maybe a once a month a splurge would be nice....
You know, Marnee, after the year you've had, I think you deserve the splurge more than any of us!
MassageEnvy.com
Locations everywhere. For a full hour it would be $65; but if you do the monthly, it's like $49 (though if you belong to my gym, it's $44 a month.) The discount "pull you in rate" was a $39 massage, and the bed was toasty, and my guy's hands were toasty...he had wonderful hands.
I think the weirdest part was that I had to turn over and I didn't want to flash him. (It's hard to have a guy's hands running all over me and thinking, "He doesn't expect anything...other than your credit card to go through." So that was weird...but it still felt good.)
So yes, my nipfarthing ass signed up for a year of massages at $44 a pop. I probably should have bought some clothes or underwear...but I'd rather have the massages, to be quite honest.
And yes, Terr, you can quit laughing about me not wanting to flash my masseuse. I understand the irony that if I'd only had a couple rum shots, I would have flashed him for free....
To be fair, my massage was supposed to be with a dude named David but I got some creepy little chick. Talk about a total let down.
You don't really expect us to believe you *not wanting* to flash, do you?
LMAO!!
Hehe..we must have posted at the same time.
That's just sad...
Believe it. I was feeling quite shy. Though I did start shucking shoes and getting ready to flip my shirt over my head before he'd cleared the room. He took his sweet time returning. I should ahve said, "You can return in 45 seconds; I will have already been waiting under the sheet for a good 30 seconds..."
I do remember you change within 10 feet of my front door and I still have no idea how you did that so fast. I don't think I had my shoes off...
Awh, shucks guys. Thanks. Now to convince my husband of that. :)
I was going to post earlier that I just saw an introductory offer for some place called Massage Envy for $39! Wow, great minds think alike.
Okay, so let me get this straight - you signed up for monthly massages and it's going to cost you $44 a month, Hellion? That's incredible. The last hour long massage I had cost me $125! (Talk about guilt, Ter!)
I was hinting to the DH that a (professional) massage would be an excellent Xmas gift. He was ignoring me at that point. I think that's going to have to be my Xmas gift to myself. Give it to yourself, Marnee. Leave the DH out of it. It's easier that way!
Geez, Irish, for $125 I'd expect that massage to come with its own happy ending. *w*
LOL!
That's right, Marnee. Treat yourself. If Georgie Cakes complains, send him to us. We'll take care of everything...
It came with a very happy ending, Ter - Me by a pool sipping a fruity concoction while the DH and kids spent the day at a waterpark!
Mshellion, what a lovely post! Now I'll make you all very very jealous--my health care plan covers massage, and because I'm double covered by my employer and my husband, I don't even have a copay. Just a tip.
The fact that it's covered is a sign, ladies-this is real medicine! Not to mention the fact that I consider my massage time writing time. I do all my best plotting then. :-) So you can actually multi-task while you're getting a massage. How great is that?
Irish - I have to admit that sounds pretty happy.
Kirsten - I think you should adopt us all. Pirating does not offer the best insurance, you know. Massage as covered, preventative medicine. I can get behind that...
Terrio, If you'll do the dishes occasionally, and clean the kitchen (which is more than my 7 and 4 year old will do) you've got a deal! ;-)
That works out great since I come with an eight year old who loves to vacuum. What a deal!
Wow, Kirsten, that's an awesome plan. (Maybe I should inquire, though I'm doubting my health insurance at the U does cover it.) Massage as preventive medicine...that's sweet! Thanks for dropping by! It's wonderful to have you at the ship!
Irish, of course great minds like ours think alike. You have to sign up for a year...so like a gym plan, you're committed to paying that every month for a least a year, but $44 a massage isn't bad. Technically speaking, from a nipfarthing perspective.
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