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SuperWriter: (W)riting Wrongs & HEAs
I need Happily Ever Afters in my stories.
It’s my biggest failure as an English major, I admit, this dreadful need for a commercial sweet ending, but who cares? I’ve been rewriting the ends to literary stories for years now, at least in my mind.
Romeo & Juliet is a definite beef of mine, especially since it’s proof of why teenagers should wait until they’re 25 before they’re allowed to date. (Idiots.) Admittedly, my interpretation of the story when I was a teenager was actually more romantic-minded, back when I thought there is only one soul-mate, one true love for any one person. Back then, I rewrote the ending for a school project, thus alerting Ms. Yount even then of my intent to write trashy novels.
I’ve been rewriting endings ever since really.
Anyone see the movie Sommersby? Richard Gere and Jodie Foster fall in love in this post-Civil War era flick. I watched it one Christmas Eve, totally a lamb led to slaughter as I bonded with this couple, only to watch Richard hanged at the end. Hanged. I leaped out of my chair, screaming at the television—which went over well in a household that was asleep at 1 a.m.
Shakespeare in Love. Another wonderful flick (one I actually own)—and our couple is cruelly separated at the end, and she has to go off and live with Colin Firth. Oh, the pitiless injustice of it all! (In all fairness, he’s not nearly as dashing or charming as he was as Darcy, but it is Colin Firth after all.)
Titanic. *pauses for the obvious jokes that will abound here* That rat bastard of a fiancée makes it, but poor Jack drowns for his sweet Rose. Mike was completely inconsolable for weeks!
Over the summer, a supposed comedy called The Breakup had an ending where the couple didn’t end up together. It is possibly the only non-together ending where I wouldn’t rewrite it to have them get together. These two were so wholly unlikeable, they didn’t deserve a happy ending. (I still want my $8 back.)
Well, there is a point to this. I’m not the only one who likes to rewrite endings to unhappily ended romances and give the sigh we were all waiting to exhale. Over the weekend, I read an erotica novel by Colette Gale called Unmasqued, which tells a new version of The Phantom of the Opera. Well, well-done. Highly recommend, and I got to thinking about beloved stories in which I wished the ending had been a bit different. And it got me to thinking of story ideas in which I could rewrite the ending to…oh, The Flying Dutchman. Or maybe a modern day Romeo & Juliet, fifteen years after the supposed suicide maybe.
Maybe that’s how I’ll make the world a better place—one HEA at a time. Just call me...SuperWriter.
What stories have you wished for a different ending? How would you have made it different?
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42 comments:
What a great idea, Hellion! You could make millions!! Okay, maybe not millions, but I’d buy your stories. I HATE sad endings. I definitely need my HEA.
What would I re-write… You picked the biggest one of all - Romeo & Juliet. I’m kind of a vicious blood thirsty wench, though. I not only want a HEA for the H/H, I want those responsible for their misery to suffer. Nothing like some revenge served up with my HEA. So, the parents in that little tale would have to do some suffering for their idiocy.
I think I mentioned this just recently, but I’d like to change around the ending for Gone With The Wind. I’d like Rhett to end up with Melanie (she could finally have some really outstanding sex) and Scarlett could get her precious Ashley and suffer through that train wreck of a marriage, while watching Mellie sporting that special afterglow at all the balls and gatherings they attend together! That would be sweet revenge indeed!
Cold Mountian is another tear jerker for me. I admit I knew how it was going to end when I watched it and was prepared (I heard the love scenes were awesome and couldn’t help myself, though). But still I think I would have liked the ending to be different.
ITA with The Breakup. There’s 90+ minutes of my life wasted that I’ll never see again.
I don't need a HEA in everything I read which is why I like to pick up a good literary work every now and then.
I got sucked into a movie this summer and didn't see the non-HEA coming. It's called Prime with Uma Thurman about an older woman younger man relationship. If you want to watch it and be surprised - stop reading now. But when they didn't end up together I actually yelled at the TV. How the hell do you make a romantic comedy and then NOT put them together at the end?!
I'd re-write the ending to Casablanca. And Message in a Bottle, of course. Then there's Little Women, Valmont, I'm sure there's more.
BTW - You are such a Superwriter. Leaping plot holes in a single bound, faster than a speed reader, and able to save that HEA with a tap of the keyboard. LOL!
Irish - LMAO!! What you said about GWTW is perfect. That would be the just way for that story to go. Special afterglow, indeed!
I didn't know how Cold Mountain was going to end and I just watched it like a month ago for the first time. Man, that was a hard movie to watch. So much horrible stuff from the neighbor lady getting her fingers smashed to that evil dude shooting her dad. Just awful.
I haven't seen Cold Mountain. It's got Renee in it, doesn't it? Her voice sometimes gets on my nerves (this, even though I loved her in Bridget Jones and Chicago--she's great, but her voice sometimes...eek. I really have no room to talk as far as voices go.)
And it looked dark.
I love the GWTW JUSTICE IS SERVED ending. I loved Melanie--she should have been spoiled by Rhett--they would have been good together. (Though you'd need Rhett & Scarlett married at first so she truly understands what she lost. *LOL*) I'd be interesting to pull off. Maybe a modern day version? Hmmm. Must think on it.
Ter, I watched Prime--another 90 minutes of my life I'm not getting back. Ack! And I watched this soon after The Breakup--and it was all, "What the hell's up with all these crappy ending movies?"
Irish that GWTW ending could make millions! Love it! I also agree I hated the ending to Cold Mountain, and The Breakup sucked too. I have nothing to add...perfect analysis.
The Red Pony, by John Steinbeck. In fact, anything written by John Steinbeck.
Ok, they aren't romances but bear with me here....
All of John Steinbeck's novels have some depressing strain, if not the entire novel being one giant depressing strain. The Red Pony, they hit a horse over the head with a hammer because it's dying childbirth, then they rip out its foul. In Of Mice and Men, George shoots Lennie. Etc, etc.
In fact, most of the so-called American classics are one giant ride on the bummer train. I always wanted to change them. There's enough depression in the world.
Oh, I forgot the most important one! Pride and Prejudice. I know, I know. It had a HEA. I just wanted more of that HEA. Like maybe the honeymoon! :) And maybe some girl talk with Lizzie and Jane over tea and crumpets. Maybe Darcy having to deal with the in-laws for a house party. I could go on and on...
Oh, and The Way We Were. Robert Redford, sooo yummy, but seriously, a huge downer.
I get the idea, of course, that they were better when they were younger and can't get that back, but really, does it have to be so depressing?
I agree, GWTW would be way better the way Irish would write it.
I didn't see Cold Mountain (lucked out, it seems) but I did suffer throgh Break Up. Though, I love Vince Vaughn. There's some EveryBoyfriend quality about him that I find so amusing.
I totally forgot about The Way We Were. That's another one where I yelled at the screen. When she moved his hair and just let him go in that instant, my heart rebelled!!!
And that Everyboyfriend quality about Vince Vaughn is what makes me NOT like him. LOL!
I love Vince Vaughn, he's why I went. And he was funny, in parts, and the lemon scene was rather amusing...but the whole story has too much of a "real life" lack of communicating and being-a-shit-rather-than-being-considerate-of-others-feelings quality I didn't care for. Bah, hum-bug. I'm looking out for that writer and director. I do not want to go to anymore of his crap.
I agree about the being a shit part. Did you ever see Fever Pitch? The one with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore?
I thought it was funny in places, but it was like that too. Funny because it's true, but that same quality makes you wanna smack the "hero."
That's funny, Marnee - I just recently came up with a short story that is sort of My Best Friend's Wedding meets Fever Pitch. LOL! But I'll be sure to leave that quality out.
Yeah, but Jimmy Fallon's character wasn't as malicious as Vince's character came off as being, in my opinion. Oh, yes, there are parts of FP where you're like, "LORD, no wonder he's SINGLE..." but he was still, well, likable.
By the end of The Breakup, I didn't even like myself, let alone any of the characters. *LOL*
But I understand wanting to slap them, though. But I'm violent that way. *LOL*
Ok, I think you need a 12-step program to let The Breakup go. LOL! Yes, it was bad in the way of all movies that are overhyped and then stab you in the back. But breath through it. Come on, you can do it. LOL!
The last movie I watched was From Here to Eternity and come to think of it, as good as that one was, it didn't have a happy ending at all. But it was sooooo good. The dialogue in that movie is perfection.
I'm going to dish on Matty and he's going to shoot me. Hellion, you're just gonna love this.
When Matty and I first started dating, I ended up with the flu and I stayed with him the first night of being sick. I stayed up (as you often do when you're sick) and Matty went to bed with the assurance that I was going to live and after about an hour of watching infomercials, I decided I was going to brave the bachelor movie collection. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to run into but another minute of the thighmaster crap and I was going to shoot someone.
So I huddle into the blanket and creep along the floor. I figured I better be quiet, because I'd hate to be caught in case it was all porn. I get down there, it's all in alphabetic order (he's a strange guy) and lo and behold.. Sommersby is one of the movies he owns. I'd never watched it. I figured it might be a movie (judging by the case) that I could get into, so I put it in.
OMG. At the end, I couldn't believe it. Here I was thinking it was going to end all with a HEA and it ends with him being hung?! Argh!
The conversation the next morning was priceless. Matty was embarrassed. You don't see that very often. LOL. He's a romantic. It's kinda nice sometimes. If only he'd remember it at the good times. LOL
I have to think about other movies. Besides Becoming Jane (which Hellion warned me and I just HAD to see it for myself).
Well hell. I posted that and immediately thought.. "There's another movie I'd like to see a different ending. Why didn't I think of it sooner."
Tristan and Isolde.
Serious heartwretching stuff there. I love that movie. I watch it when I feel the need to bawl my eyes out for 20 minutes. Portrayed as a Romeo & Juliet sorta fic. Has anyone seen it?
I tried to watch Tristan & Isolde but the accents were so bad I couldn't do it. And I love that sort of movie. Now I'm glad I didn't sit through it. LOL!
That's soo funny about Matty and Sommersby. My father in law loves romantic comedies. He's so funny. What a Girl Wants, that movie with Amanda Bynes, is his favorite movie.
LOL!!
Ha! My dad has been a loyal follower of Guiding Light for years. LOL! And this man has never been in touch with his feminine side (I don't think he has one) which makes it even funnier.
What about movies that have a HEA but you don't buy it? You don't think the two are right for each other by the end and you wish you could re-write that one.
Oh yes, horrible accents.. but it served it's purpose in the end, they fall in love, they are torn apart, they have an affair.. they are found out.. I bawl my eyes out. And I start sniffling again at the end. I don't know why I watch that movie. I like to torture myself.
Or Legends of the Fall (with Brad Pitt) OMG. I bawl my eyes out with that movie too. Speaking of which, I haven't watched it in a LONG time.
What a Girl Wants? LMFAO
Tristan & Isolde is the R&J before there was a R&J. It's PRE-R&J. :) Apparently that teenage suicide has been a popular theme through the ages.
I *love* What a Girl Wants! Colin in leather pants! Not to be missed!
Legends of the Fall is AWFUL. I can't resist watching it...but it's so tearjerking!
Endings I didn't buy. Hmm. I'll have to think about it.
But while we're around here...what about your favorite HEAs. I love the ending to 50 First Dates (I just love that movie, vomiting walrus notwithstanding)--but I know people who hate the ending...and the premise altogether.
I was just about to point out that movie has Colin in leather but Hellion beat me to it. LOL! I never watched 50 First Dates. I hate repetitive stuff so it would drive me crazy.
I like the end of Bull Durham - one of my all time favorite movies. I sort of wish Crash would have made the show but when he and Annie end up on her porch swing, it just seems right.
I'm sure there are lots of others but I'll have to think more about it.
Bull Durham is HOT.
50 First Dates isn't repetitive like Groundshog Day (which I also like)--I just like the premise that he really likes her and every day he has to think of some new way to get her to fall in love with him. He doesn't use the same way twice. My favorite is when he's pretending he's being beat up by Rob Schneider--and Drew Barrymore beats the hell out of Rob with a baseball bat. "Yeah...KEEP RUNNING!"
Oh, I love 50 First Dates! What a good one.... I like Drew Barrymore a lot, though.
Oh, you know what HEA I don't buy? That golf movie my DH loves, Tin Cup. George has watched it a gazillion times and I still can't see them together.
Another Costner sports movie. *sigh* I get so irritated by him taking that dang shot over and over again, I can't be bothered to care about the rest. LOL!
I'm having a harder time coming up with HEA endings than bittersweet, non-HEA ones. Like Out of Africa. The end of that kills me.
Okay, just got back from starting my Xmas shopping and you'll never guess what I saw!
I was looking through the DVD aisle and there is the movie The Breakup with a big sticker on it that says "With a New Alternate Ending!" Isn't that hilarious. It still wouldn't be worth it. Like you said, Hellion, I didn't really like either of them enough to care what happened to them.
I escaped Tristan and Isolde. I found out about the ending and skipped it. See, all of my sleuthing has been paying off. I'm missing movies left and right that would really piss me off!
I forgot about The Way We Were too! Hated that ending. Another one I forgot about was The Last of the Mohicans! I cried forever when the other guy (not Daniel Day Lewis) died! Listening to that music still gives me the creeps. Oh, and The Patriot! Wasn't too fond of how that ended either.
A new alternate ending? That is too funny. I thought of one I love the ending for - Love Actually. I love all the endings for that one. I've put that DVD on my Xmas wish list that I'm sending out to the family. With a big star next to it. I so want that movie.
Oh, I think Hellion gave me the soundtrack. I need to find that so we can listen to it while putting up out tree!
I love Last of the Mohicans--the soundtrack gives me the chills, love it! But it was sad when the Indian guy died...I loved him and her together!
Nothing would help the Breakup. Nothing.
I love Love Actually, but the woman who doesn't get together with the work office guy breaks my heart! Argh! I'm sorry, if I had him in my bed, that phone would be SO turned off. *LOL*
Damn, I forgot about that one. Ok, I love *almost* all the endings for Love Actually. LOL!
I've never watch LOTM all the way through but I did see the part where they burned that dude alive and that was horrible. So I've never watched the rest.
I love Love Actually and own it. I thought the office chick should have ended up with that guy also. I also love the ending for 4 Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill, Ever After and A Walk in the Clouds and own all of them. My DVD library is chick flick heaven! I'm seriously thinking of adding North & South to my Xmas list this year.
Oh, you HAVE to add North & South to the chick flick collection. *jots a note to figure out how to make a chick flick blog writing related* God, that KISS at the end. *swoons*
Okay, I'm going to promo my Saturday (RV) blog now. I've got a blog Saturday and Sunday...so be sure to go read. Sunday features eye-candy.
N&S is on the list. And since this is going to my family (read:clueless people) I've specified this is not the old Swayze mini-series. LOL!
I'm all for eye-candy. And I'll be doing a paper for school which means I'll have to stop and get inspiration often. *g*
OMG I'm not the only one who had problems with the accents in Tristan and Isolde??! Yippeee! LOL Honestly I felt bad when I realised I couldn't make a word of what Isolde's father said..same for that beefy guy she was supposed to marry.
And though I love a HEA and I cried my eyes out at the ending (thanks Sin for recommending the movie: but next time it would be nice if supplied the box of tissue)I wouldn't want it any other way. That story needed that kind of ending.
I wanted a HEA in Titanic. The way it ended felt sooo wrong....the fact that Rose was stupid enough to get rid of the diamond!!!! Stupid girl...okay more seriously I must admit I started sobbing when Jack turned into Frosty and disappeared under water. Very embarassing when you're not cuddled on your own couch.
Ghost is awfully sad too. I knew he was dead dead but I wish they could have found a way to keep Molly and him together. Another very embarrassing moment for me.
Casablanca's ending is wrong too.
I stopped watching Cold Mountain when the lady got her fingers mashed...too much for me.
And I think I'll have to add Blood ties if Henry doesn't end up with Vicky....with Mike watching them disappear under the moonlight...
Or dead. Yeah Mick should be dead.
Harlot - Ghost! That is definitely one I would have loved a different ending for. Though, how do you write someone out of being dead? That's a toughie...
Harlot, you mean Mike? I'd like to see him dead. Along with Morelli.. but I shall remain mum on the subject. :)
Sin: Yeah Mike....Hey I've got an excuse it was well past midnight and I hadn't had a single shot of Tequila.I was bound to make mistakes!
Wouldn't kill Mick...You would hate me....
Marnee Jo: no idea, i'm not a writer, just someone who complains loudly when it doesn't end like it should (= like I want it to ;-p)
Maybe some kind of paranormal thing with him being able to stay with her as a ghost? though maybe I wouldn't have liked the movie as much with a HEA...I still remember it because I cried like a baby. Would I still remember it if it had had a HEA?
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