Sin was gracious enough to provide some Halloween words to challenge me. What they prompted was a poorly written satire. Hope this helps Terrio with her FRUSTRATION!

The lovely pirate wench stared at Cap’n Jack. He was standing behind the ship’s wheel looking dead sexy. She turned and slapped her forehead trying to pop her lame brain back into joint. What was she thinking she didn’t need the hassle. Sure, it would be a fabulous toss of her skirts, but she was a lass with soft heart. She loved to appear tough and baldy on the outside but beneath her soft flesh she longed for so much more. The life of a seafaring wench was a lonely one, and besides *sniff* Halloween made her melancholy. It all stemmed from that year she swallowed her fake fangs when a peg legged pirate stuck his tongue down her throat in a fit of passion. Even though he walked away with blood dripping from his nose, she never lost the nibbling sensation in her gut.

She sighed and kicked at the jack o lantern sitting at her feet. It spun around and skittered across the deck slamming into the stern of the ship cracking into a million pieces. She shook her head as she made her way below deck to see if any Twizzlers were left in the basket of candy treats. On the way to the galley, she stopped by her cabin to straighten her hair; she slipped inside and looked in the cracked mirror above the washbasin. She brushed her curls away from her face and smiled faintly. She had a pleasant face and a nice set of breasts. She turned slightly and tightly closed her eyes as she groaned. Her backside stuck out causing her skirt to hike up severely in the back. She could still hear the words of her uncle Charlie Brown.

“It’s the great pumpkin!”

She decided that she was going to lose the great pumpkin one way or another. She didn’t have too much time to contemplate her plight when the door swung open and Jack Sparrow darkened the doorway.

“Captain what can I do for you.”

He slowly stalked toward her with his yellow teeth posed in a malicious smile.

“Ask not what you can do for your captain but let your captain show what he can do for you.”

“I like the way you think Jack.”

He took two more steps and pulled her against his unyielding flesh. She sucked in a breath as he lowered his mouth on hers. Although she longed to pull away and offer him an Altoid, she allowed her nether regions to rule her. Passion consumed them as Jack hiked up her skirts and unsheathed his sword. He plunged it deep inside her as she wrapped her thunder thighs around his waist. The motion of their hips mimicked the rocking of the ship. The storm of their passion raged as Jack slammed her against the wall plundering her body as if it was his latest sought after treasure. It was over almost before he got in the room. With a grunt Jack pulled out and let go of her so she slipped to the floor in a heap. He smiled as he corralled his manhood. The wench looked at him in disbelief as she muttered.

“You don’t know Jack about pleasing a woman!”

His smile quickly disappeared.

“I’ve never had a wench complain before.”

“ Well you’ve never had this wench!”

She stumbled to her feet and jerked down her skirts, embarrassed when they caught on the great pumpkin. In frustration, she brushed at the back of her skirt and noticed as Jack cocked an eyebrow.

“What?” she asked.

“If I had noticed the tent in your skirt before, I would have suggested back door.”

The wench’s jaw dropped open.” You are such a scoundrel.”

Jack smiled his dirty grin. “Why thank you lass”

She sighed and tried to push past him to leave. He grabbed her around the waist and pressed his still throbbing member between the juncture of her legs. She gasped in delighted alarm.

He whispered. “You know you want me.”

“I don’t know what it is, you are such a nasty pirate but I still long for you.”

He smiled a wolf grin. “Must be my winning personality.”

She reached up and tried to lace her fingers in his hair but they got stuck “It sure as hell isn’t your dreadlocks.”

“The sweet things you say to me wench.”

“I can’t believe what a slutty sailor I have become.”She grinned.

And they had sex.