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Monday, October 22, 2007
The Other "F" Word...
This weekend was an exercise in FRUSTRATION. Yes, that's the *other* "F" word I'm talking about. Every Friday I have high hopes for the weekend. I have 48 hours to accomplish every single thing I didn't get done during the week. Emptying the dish washer (picking the pockets of Smelly the Dish Washer), finishing that last load of laundry (a little Whisky on that Rum stain should do the trick), eating that last piece of chocolate cake (now that's plunder!). Clearly, I have my priorities in order.
This weekend, I had one tiny homework assignment to finish (which I did) and then I could work on the writing. But the more I worked, the more frustrated I became. I realized I've only been writing on the surface. No layering. No scenery. Little action between the lines of dialogue. Where I've been used to knocking out pages in an hour, this weekend I could barely knock out two sentences in a day. And when I did manage to make it better, feel better about it, I'd page down and find more. More dreck and more work. It feels like treading water but every time I get close to the surface, someone reaches in and pushes me down again.
How do you survive this? How long can I hold my breath? How long before I walk out of the water and say to hell with it? Because I almost did that this weekend. What do you do when it's not fun anymore?
This is what I'm doing. I'm still opening the file and struggling away. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I've put blood, sweat and tears into this thing now, not to mention the money, and I couldn't live with myself if I gave up. Maybe because if I give up now, Cap'n Hellion will have my ass.
How do you deal with frustration? What do you do to keep from dropping the sails and letting the sea have her way with ya? And if you say you don't have frustration, prepare to be flogged!
This weekend, I had one tiny homework assignment to finish (which I did) and then I could work on the writing. But the more I worked, the more frustrated I became. I realized I've only been writing on the surface. No layering. No scenery. Little action between the lines of dialogue. Where I've been used to knocking out pages in an hour, this weekend I could barely knock out two sentences in a day. And when I did manage to make it better, feel better about it, I'd page down and find more. More dreck and more work. It feels like treading water but every time I get close to the surface, someone reaches in and pushes me down again.
How do you survive this? How long can I hold my breath? How long before I walk out of the water and say to hell with it? Because I almost did that this weekend. What do you do when it's not fun anymore?
This is what I'm doing. I'm still opening the file and struggling away. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I've put blood, sweat and tears into this thing now, not to mention the money, and I couldn't live with myself if I gave up. Maybe because if I give up now, Cap'n Hellion will have my ass.
How do you deal with frustration? What do you do to keep from dropping the sails and letting the sea have her way with ya? And if you say you don't have frustration, prepare to be flogged!
Labels:
frustration,
giving up,
writing
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14 comments:
Captain Hellion is about to have your ass! Did you not listen when I quoted Captain Red: "Work is work. Work is not fun. If work were fun, it'd be called Happy Fun Time." Insert "writing" for "work" and you have it.
And stop trying to layer before you got the foundation down! It's like you're trying to paint the walls of your house before you nailed the sheet rock to the skeleton! What kind of sense does that make? None! That's what kind!
Lord amighty, perfectionists. I'm going to be bald before I'm 40.
Frustration is my middle name.
I got about 1500 words written this weekend. It could've been a whole helluva lot more if I wasn't so FRUSTRATED! *sigh* And I'll have no time for it this weekend.
Can anyone point me to a rich nobleman that I can pirate *Ahem* I mean talk out of his gold? This will alleviate most of my frustration as in it will allow me to write more often and give up being a desk jockey.
I love when Hellion gives out advice with a dash of cynism and a side order of comedy.
PS. Don't sweat the small stuff Terr. I know it's hard but sometimes you just have to get up and have that second piece of cake.
Prepare for mutiny.
Life is hard enough. All the "have to" shit I do is hard enough. If the "want to" shit becomes hard, I bale.
That may be shallow but that's me.
Ah, Ter... I understand exactly where you are coming from.
This is one of the downs of being a writer. This is the flow to our life, as artists we are never going to be happy with our work, and we will never please everyone else. That's the way the water flows.
I don't deny you should give up something. And it's obviously not going to be "make sure the kid is happy, fed, watered, bathed, homeworked, et al" nor the "non-traditional back-in-college college" routines.
But you can give up trying to be so perfectionistic about your writing when you do have a chance to write. Stop sucking out the fun of it when you do have a chance to write... If it's your one fun thing, figure out what it was that made it fun--was it the "I had more fun before everyone started being the boss of me and saying 'That won't sell'"? Because if it is, get new people to hang out with...and keep your writing to yourself. At least until you finished the book.
Showing off your book before it's complete is like showing off...well, I won't say it. But it's an excellent analogy....
Nominating me for the Mother Theresa award are you?
Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for our writing that we don't want to make, but that shouldn't suck the joy out of what we're actually doing. Sometimes we have to tune out what everyone around us is saying and get back to our original writing roots. And for me, that's not over plotting to compensate for all the questions I'm asked. Sometimes you just have to dig down deep and keep writing no matter what gets you down. Frustration included.
I hear you sister.
There doesn't seem to be an aspect of my life anymore that doesn't cause me frustration.
Even the escape from reality stuff is giving me a headache.
Take a deep breath and light a candle...eat chocolate for dinner and go get a pedicure, then read a really trashy poorly written smut novel it works like a charm:)
But most of all don't be so hard on yourself.
*coming up for air after stomping out fires at work*
I must be out of it because I'm not sure how that "showing off your..." sentence is supposed to end. LOL!
Sin - I've been St. Theresa since before 6th grade. Step off. LOL!
Lissa - I lit the candles, ate the chocolate and started a new SEP to escape. But I forgot the pedicure. Damn. Adding that to next weekends' list. LOL!
Ter - I kinda agree with Hellion. Take it easy on yourself. Don't turn something that is suppose to be fun for you into hell. I don't know you as well as she does, but if you are a perfectionist, life is pretty much gonna suck most of the time cause nothing's perfect. I know from what I speak! LOL
I think you've been trying to write, trying to learn the business, trying to do everything right and maybe you should try to find a way to take a little of the pressure off and put a little of the fun back in.
I write a little and the DH wants me to turn it into a career. He's a sweetheart and really believes I have talent. We talked and talked and he had me believing too. As soon as we started talking about me becoming "a writer" my writing wasn't fun. I didn't want to sit down and put my thoughts and musings on paper (or the computer) anymore. I wanted to run away! It was too much pressure and I'm not ready. I may never be ready and I've asked him very politely to BACK OFF!! Who knows, I may make it back to my writing soon!
Just my two cents! :) I'm pulling for ya!
(The SEP book is a fabulous idea, by the way!!!)
How do I deal with frustration? Poorly.
'Nuff said.
Hellion - you are wise, so wise. Oh Captain my Captain. I totally agree about not letting anyone read my stuff and I totally agree about not layer until the bones are there. You rock.
Seriously though, I just had a panic attack like this last week, Ter. I said, what I am writing is garbage, what I am writing about isn't universal enough, my hero's an ass and my heroine is a flake... etc, etc.
So, I stepped away from it all weekend and didn't do jack. Ah, sweet reprieve. I read Elizabeth Hoyt's Leopard Prince. Love her.
I feel better today, so I'll probably look at it again and I am not, no matter how much the grumpy old man editor inside of me complains, I am not going to go reread what I've written. I know what happens, I need to move forward and stop beating myself up.
Now, I did that therapy session here in an attempt to drag you into my bit of pep-talking. Step away, read smut (thank you Lissa), and come back when it's fun again. :)
I either write a ton or not much at all. I figure all the peppy goal-setters and I don't have much in common. Now, IF I were contracted, had a deadline, then I'd be feeling the pressure. I'm my own boss now, so I'm letting myself float. Jump in with me. We'll get those inflatable thingies with drink holders.
I should clear something up. Writing is only one of many things in my life causing frustration. In fact, it's probably more the combination of things I'm doing all at the same time than the writing itself.
And that showing your work thing is all my fault because I'm only layering my first three chaps as they have been requested. So I am on a deadline of sorts and it's my own damn fault so I will stop whining as of now. *g*
Irish - thanks so much for stopping by. I don't believe I'm a perfectionist, I just believe in doing something right or not doing it at all. Since writing is a difficult thing to which that philosophy can be applied, it's taking some adjustment on my part. And yes, SEP is always a good thing. *w* Now go write something! hehehe
Dee - Considering how amazing your work is, you must be dealing better than most. Come on, what's the secret?!
Marnee Jo - I don't think what I'm writing is crap but I have gotten overwhelmed by the *rules* we aspiring writers hear/see/read about all the time and hearing the dreaded words "that will never sell" which I hear more often than not. When I started this story, it was to see if I could do it. Then I got carried away. Once I get my mindset back to doing it for the sake of doing it and let go of thinking "selling is mandatory", I'll be all better. Mind over matter!!
Maggie - you are a phenomenon. Your natural talent and how much you've accomplished with sheer determination and belief in what your doing makes me smile and gives me hope. If my best stuff is slightly on par with your worst, I'll be happy. *g*
Ter, I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed these days. I hope things get better and you can find some relief.
Chocolate? Seems a good solution usually....
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