‘Ello me hearty wenches, it is good of fair Captain Hellion to invite me today to give the first blog of the New Year. Now I know we’ve had a wonderful, fun, and strangely unmemorable 2007 (does anyone know where the rum has gone? No? I really need to start marking that stuff down. It’s getting disturbing)—but it is a new year and we should start things off right with, well, some resolutions, or well, guidelines in getting back on track with the whole pirate gig.

It’s not easy being a pirate. Everybody wants to be one, wave the sword, bust up a couple of ships, capture the cursed Aztec gold—but it takes practice, patience, and pres…prese…prese-prese—and it takes rum. Worry not, me hearties, I’ve written down a few of the guidelines…and I think even that young Turner could manage to become a pirate with these beauties:

1.) Remind yourself you are a pirate. It’s easy to forget, especially after a holiday in port, eating, drinking, and making merry. People stealing your ship. Whatever, there are a lot of distractions. Now you have to clean up, organize, get back on task—and you suddenly wonder: Am I really a pirate? I’m not a very good pirate. Maybe I’m just faking. Calm down. You are a pirate. You’re just out of practice.

2.) Go pirating. This is the important second step. I mean, it’s probably been so long since you’ve pirated more than a shilling or two, but the trick is not to give up because you don’t think the treasure is there. The treasure is there. You just have to go looking for it, mate. But you’re not going to find any treasure, if you don’t get your feculent maggoty arse on your ship and start sailing in a northerly…or southerly direction. Whichever. Get behind the wheel already and stop making excuses.

3.) Create Opportune Moments. Go to pirate conventions and network with other pirates. They might know where treasure is—they might even sell you a map that might help you look. Attending conferences with Pirate Kings creates opportunities for you to show off your treasure…and possibly get more treasure. Savvy?

4.) Seize the Opportune Moment. Another important Jack-task. If a Pirate King asks for your treasure, for God’s sake, send it to him. Don’t dither. I can’t emphasize this one enough. If someone opens the door, walk in out of the cold.

5.) Eat more limes. For God’s sake, we know as pirates, rum, is ever so important to great pirating; however, we don’t want to get scurvy and drop dead before we become a great pirate like me, Captain Jack Sparrow, or that Captain Nora Roberts fellow…so work in a few limes. (No, not to mix with your margaritas, you bunch of lushes.) Help a body out and ingest some green vegetables, a few less fried crumpets, and do a couple laps around the prow of the ship, or swing from the mizzenmast. Exercise and healthy eating is good for you…in moderation, of course. I mean, don’t let it get in the way of pirating, but you don’t need to eat the third éclair whilst steering the ship.

6.) Get a treasure map, acquire some navigational charts. Sailing around without any idea where you’re going or how to get there will not find you remarkable treasure. You’ll usually just run out of supplies and your crew will mutiny against you, leaving marooned on a deserted island with a single shot. Not anyone’s idea of a vacation, mate. Find a book, sketch something on a napkin—whatever—you’re going to do a whole lot better at this pirate thing if you at least look like you know what you’re doing.

7.) Practice pirating every day. Pirating is like exercise, nasty vile habit…I don’t like that one. Okay, pirating is like drinking rum. You can’t really hold a lot of rum at first and it takes practice…you should, therefore, drink every day to build a tolerance for it. Same goes for pirating. If you don’t pirate every day, you won’t improve and snag the really impressive treasure.

8.) There is always a crisis on the High Seas. I can’t tell you the number of fledging pirates who tell me they don’t have time to pirate. Hurricanes, they wail; East India Trading Company…my God, the cannibals. Those sorts of things will never go away, so if you don’t learn to juggle them, pirating is going to be a hard business for you succeed at. Captain Nora Roberts freaks out at hurricanes every day—but she still pirates, every day. Realize there is always going to be a reason not to pirate. You are therefore pirating for your own self-enjoyment and worth—and the slight, though still possible prospect of eventual treasure.

9.) Don’t seek treasure that’s already been plundered. This should be a given, but it’s amazing the number of newbies who hunt for treasure that’s already been exhumed. If you want to get rich, mates, find new treasure. Blaze new trails, lead and don’t follow. Imitation is never as good as the original.

…the lack of resolution is not a mistake. There will be no resolutions, goal setting, revisiting the year or sappy bits of gratitude in this blog. Everyone in the blogisphere has more than covered these topics already and I even did the sappy bits of gratitude on my other blog here.

Today is about trying something new. Now, I don't mean because it's a new year lets say what new thing we are going to do this time around. What I mean is trying something new in writing. I've spent my weekend venturing way outside my comfort zone. A couple months ago an idea for a short story erotic romance popped into my head. It was brought on by the news that Samhain Publishing sent out an open submissions call for several anthologies planned for next year. The deadline is January 10 and as usual, I've put things off until the last minute.

But with the help of our trusty Captain, I made it past a block at the end of last week and the story took over during the weekend. I spent nearly eight hours writing something I had never written before – SEX. That's right, technically, I have never written a sex scene and now I've written two and a half. Yes, I left the poor souls in the middle of *it* so I could write this blog and get to bed. I'm one of the unfortunate ones who have to work today.

I posted a snippet of my first sex scene for some writer friends and the feedback has been pretty positive. Very positive in fact. They could just be shooting smoke up my ass, for which I am highly grateful, but I think I might be pretty good at this. Not great but pretty good.

This is one of the aspects I love about writing. Everytime I learn something new or write something I never thought I could pull off, it's like a high. It's a rush and it makes me want to write more. Call it momentum or delusions of grandeur but whatever it is, I like it.

What have you written that took you completely by surprise? What do you think you write best? What do you think you could never write in a million years? Tell us about a scene you wrote that made you sit back and say, "Oh yeah, that's good." And don't say that's never happened. Even if you hated the scene the next day, there was a time, maybe just a matter of minutes, when you loved it.

Twas the night before Christmas and all aboard the Revenge,
Not a crewmember stirred, following their rum-drinking binge.
The booty bags hung by their hammocks with care,
In hopes that Jack Sparrow would soon be there.

The crew were all nestled snug tight in their 'mocks,
Smelling faintly of grog as they clung tight to their crocks.
And whilst with me book, I lay with a pistol in hand,
Thinking a nip of Bailey's and chocolate would be grand.

When out on the dock there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my Captain's bed to see what was the matter!
Away to the top, I flew like a flash,
Scarcely having time to tighten my sash.

And there in the crow's nest, I saw such a sight,
Lit by the moon, which was full on this night.
A bold, handsome pirate swung from the rope to the floor:
"I'm here, lass, for Christmas, could you want anything more?"

Well, truth be told, I'd been such a good lass—
Not a bit of wickedness and only a touch of sass.
I was quite deserving of a pirate for my very own keep.
I hope he was well rested for he wasn't getting any sleep.

From his fierce blazing look that could freeze a girl's very marrow,
I knew in an instant this must be the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow.
Quick as cannon fire, he called for his men to make way:
"Come, Will, come Ranger, we haven't got all day."

From the sides of the ship climbed these brawn men drawing swords,
Their proud countenances as fierce as any romance's brooding lord's.
"Where's Sin?" said the dark one, who I knew to be Carlos—
When it came to Christmas, he'd be the present she'd want most.

I enjoy music, but I wouldn’t consider myself the type of person who needs to be inundated with music all day long. You definitely wouldn't see me going about my life's business, an IPod headphone perpetually in my ear like all the teenagers. (Boy, I sound old). To date myself further, I don't even own an IPod. I listen in the car, I listen if I need some auditory stimulation, but besides that, I can take it or leave it.

However, as I’m plotting out my new contemporary, I find that it is more musically charged than the Regency I’ve lost interest in (for now). Different plot aspects get me humming some song or another and making thematic parallels to music.

I find this a little disconcerting because it did NOT happen while I was working on my last WIP. And I’m wondering if that isn’t why my last WIP started feeling so stiff and dead as I worked into the dreaded middle of it. It lacked that emotion, the feeling that I know, from my experience as a reader, that other readers want.

It isn’t just any song that I think of when I’m working my new WIP. I realized my earlier statement sounded like every time I opened the lid on my computer that I was swallowed into the Sound of Music or something. No, that isn’t it. Instead, there are a few songs that I think of when I’m writing. I think of them as the soundtrack of this book.

So far, there are three songs clanking around in my brain when I work on this novel: “Forgive” by Rebecca Lynn Howard, “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon, and “I Apologize” by One Republic. Amazingly, anytime I find myself stuck for an idea, I just have to listen to one of these songs and I’m immediately back into my WIP, full of the emotions I want to encapsulate, and ready to get to work again.

Does your work have a soundtrack? And if so, what songs can you find on it? Does music play a role in your writing and if so, what role?

As an aside, I attempted to load a couple of those songs in here, but I'm video upload incompetent. Apologies. But, they're all on YouTube, if you're interested.

I think about writing while I’m in the shower in the morning, conversations between my two main characters flowing like the water from the showerhead. Dreams are what give me ideas, thoughts, conversations, pieces to carry over into fiction land. It’s like acting out a scene before writing it down. One of those poetry in motion thingys. And for me, it’s perfect. I’ve always been very hands on, sticking my nose into everything. I’ve gotta see it done first before I can write it. So if I can’t see the scene, it can’t be written the way I want it and I’m stuck. But with dreams, anything can happen. Anything in your wildest dreams. And opportunity and imagination are the two best things you can have as a writer. With a strong compass to guide you and a closet full of hats to put on *grin*

So, my question to you today is: Ever have those dreams that just stick with you? The ones that when you wake up in the morning and have you thinking about your plot and characters and setting? Do you use them as a guide?

I had a different log written and planned for today, but as with many things on the ship, I realized as I climbed into bed, tucked my pistol under my pillow, and settled down for a much-needed snooze that this instead needed to be said. Especially so soon before Christmas and New Year's, a time of year where we think of everyone but ourselves.

Don your Just For Me hat.

We're expected everyday to wear so many different hats. Our pirate's hat; our wife hat; our mother's hat; our bitch's hat; our writer's hat; our 9-to-5 hat; our counselor's hat; our friend hat; our professor's hat; our housekeeping hat; our Martha Stewart hat; our Budget Queen hat; our Harry Potter Making Magic from Nothing hat....

I myself like a good hat. A lovely plume, a certain richness in the fabric as it folds up into the tricorn...but with all these hats and expectations of our time, we don't have time to ever wear our Just For Me hat. Worse, we believe, inherently, we also do not have money for such a selfish act...and frankly, just who do we think we are that we deserve a hat that serves no function than other than to be for ourselves?

This is faulty thinking--because despite the title of the Harry Potter hat, you really can't make something out of nothing. You're giving up a little bit of yourself with each hat you whip on and off with flair and haste, seamlessly moving from one role to the other, without any regard to why you are doing it, only that it is an important job to be done and SOMEBODY has to do it.

It is little wonder then that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, why any of us would have the energy, desire, or need to even put a string of words on the page. What's left to fill the blank white space when everything has been sapped by things that needed to be taken care of first--but in which the most important thing, YOU, had not been taken care of at all?

Who in their right minds would want to empty themselves on a page when there is nothing left to give?

You have to fill yourself first before you can put something on the page. And in order to do that, you have to remember you're worth the consideration of doing something Just for Me. And I'm sure if you turned off the Internal Critic who reminds you that the credit card bill is due, the kids need to get to practice on time, and supper needs to be fixed (since Redbook pointed out that tragically we don't get home-cooked meals near as often as we get fast food) that you would realize you too deserve just as much attention and time as you give to everyone else.

So go wild. Take a soak in the bathtub and read an extra chapter. Or go wilder, and get an hour massage, followed by a pedicure. Get your hair done. Buy a book you've had your eye on. Pop in your yoga tape and do some Half-Moon poses and breathe deeply, enjoying this time you've taken just for yourself.

Doing this you may find your Muse is more willing to hang out with you again...and offer you more to empty on your blank pages.